Nimbus Land, June 24, 5:00 A<
Dr. Octogonapus: She’ll never find me up here!
Queen Sunny: *chuckles* I wouldn’t say that.
Dr. Octogonapus: *sigh* Why me?
Queen Sunny: Remember my warning, buster. A mother never forgets.
Dr. Octogonapus: Right. So, who’s up for today?
Queen Sunny: Wario. I’m going to be in the audience, so watch it.
Dr. Octogonapus: ( >:( Fantastic…) Awesome! ^_^
Later…
Dr. Octogonapus: Hello, peoples! I’m Dr. Octogonapus and this is-
Lemmy: LEMMY’S-
Dr. Octogonapus: DR. OCTOGONAPUS BWAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Benny (from behind the camera): ‘Bout time someone killed him off.
(Lemmy is seen 3 seconds later in a seat playing on a GBA SP.)
Shady Parakoopa: Oh, come ON! *sees the GBA* Wow, I didn’t think there were any of those left that still worked…
Dr. Octogonapus: Then you’ve never been to GameStop. Anyway, today I’m interviewing Wario Wario. My sanity (and my life for that matter) are on the line here, so please keep the catchphrases to a minimum, ok?
(Everyone crosses their fingers.)
Everyone: K.
Dr. Octogonapus: Good. Now then, Wario, come out and say hello!
(Wario comes and sits in the interviewee chair.)
Wario: Hey.
Dr. Octogonapus: K. Now for my first question: when did you first appear?
Wario: I was mentioned as being the REAL villain in Super Mario Land, but my first visible appearance was in SML2.
Dr. Octogonapus: And I was first in line to get both… So, next question, there was that connection between you and Tatanga. Explain?
Wario: I hired him to kill Daisy. He only agreed because Daisy also tried to kill him. I was disappointed that he didn’t do his job, but I’m ready to forgive, so I gave him another chance by giving him one of the six Golden Coins. By then, Tatanga’s spell on Daisy was gone, so I linked her life force to the spell I put on my coins, saying that should Daisy somehow get near any of the coins, they were to be destroyed. If the coins were destroyed, Daisy would be destroyed as well.
Dr. Octogonapus: Wow… You’re not as stupid as almost everyone else thought…
Wario: *turns red* Who thought I was stupid?
Dr. Octogonapus: You don’t want to know. So, how did you get to Kitchen Island in the wrongly named SML3?
Wario: Do you remember when Sunny said she had spent time as a mermaid? One of the things she did during that time was to lead me to Syrup’s hideaway by swimming alongside my boat and pointing out where to turn and where not to turn.
Captain Syrup (in seat ISHOULDAPPEARMORE): I thought I recognized that weird red fin somewhere…
Dr. Octogonapus: Last question and we go to the audience: is garlic really your favorite food?
Wario: No. Throughout my childhood, I’ve eaten way too much fatty food, and with too much of eating certain things comes repercussions. I eat a lot of garlic to prevent potential blood clots. I also play sports and go on adventures to try to lose weight.
Dr. Octogonapus: Ohhhh. Seat IDESERVETOBEINAMAINSERIESTITLE!
Waluigi: Why were you cross-eyed in SML2?
Wario: I used to play football, and one game, the ball hit me in the head, causing the lazy eye. I got it fixed, though. Seat ZOMBIE!
Dr. Zomboss (Plants vs. Zombies): Why’d you change Mario’s castle?
Wario: The only thing about that place that I changed was the insertion of the traps. The “M” on the front was flipped because of a lightning bolt that struck it during a storm. That storm ended when the adventure was over, thus giving the illusion that I was the cause of the storm.
Dr. Octogonapus: Ahhhh. Seat ALLKNOWINGFAIRY… oh, shoot…
Queen Sunny: (to D.O.) Thought I’d forget, huh? (to Wario) So why DID you insert traps in the castle?
Wario: In case the Golden Coins plan failed. I’m very cautious, so I’m likely to take drastic measures to protect myself.
Queen Sunny: I understand. I’m in the same mess with Karma.
Dr. Octogonapus: So far, so good. Seat THISISMYSTOOOOORE!
Supermarket Boss (Dead Rising): What’s with your constant money quests?
Wario: Do you actually think that my homes will stay clean forever?! It takes a lot of money and time to scrub the floors, scoop the gunk, all that!
SB: Wow…
Wario: Seat POORLYTRANSLATED!
CATS: All your base are belong to us.
Dr. Octogonapus: DR. OCTOGONAPUS BWAAAAAAA!
Wario: Thank you.
Dr. Octogonapus: Yeah. Seat I’MAWINDSPIRIT!
Madame Flurrie: Why do you always pick your nose?
Wario: Nervous habit. I’m still worried about what’s going to happen to me. One more thing, if you see Daisy, warn me, K?
Flurrie: If I must.
Dr. Octogonapus: Mmm-hmm. Seat ECCENTRICIMPOSSIBLEVILLAIN!
Senor Senior Sr: What are you and your brother exactly?
Wario: *sigh* I had a feeling someone would ask me that sometime or later… To answer your question, my brother and I are half elf.
Bowser: But I thought all elves were supposed to be mega short…
Wario: >:( That’s a blatant stereotype, n00b. Those who know their mythology know elves and fairies come in all sizes, shapes, and colors.
Aurora: I’m a Fairy myself, and I’m as tall as they come.
Dr. Octogonapus: Right. Seat OHMYGODRUNFORYOURLIVES!!!
Everyone: What?
Dr. Octogonapus: ABOVE YOU!!!
(Everyone looks up to see the Golden Diva floating above them, cackling.)
Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Everyone but Sunny and Serena quickly runs and climbs down the beanstalk to safety.
Golden Diva: (cackling) Now I can finally finish you off!
Serena: No. I won’t let it happen!
(Serena temporarily disarms Golden Diva with an Ice Blast attack, causing her to fall down and revert to a human-like form.)
Sunny: Now, let’s see who’s behind that mask…
(Sunny and Serena slowly walk up to the unconscious body and take off the Kabuki-ish mask. What Sunny sees truly stuns her.)
Queen Sunny: 0.0 No… It can’t be… Daisy?!
Serena: Perhaps it would be best to let her explain to us.
Queen Sunny: -.- Maybe. Let’s go.
Serena: All right.
(Serena turns off the camera.)
TRANSMISSION ENDED
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