The same place as the last Interview, June 23, 4:00 PM
Calypso: Well THAT didn’t take long. Who knew fairies were such fast workers?
Glim (Winx Club): Um, essentially we ARE fairies. We’re just a random subspecies.
Calypso: I know. So who’s up today?
Glim: I’ll go check.
(The pixie leaves and comes back with more cards.)
Glim: So, today it’s Tatanga.
Calypso: Cool! ^_^ I haven’t seen him since he fixed Mom’s ship last month!
Later…
Calypso: Hi, guys! I hope those healing potions I made helped!
Everyone: Yep.
Calypso: Now, a very good friend of Mom’s is here today so be on your best behavior! TATANGAAAA, COME ON DOOOOOWN!!!
Queen Sunny: -.- That’s it, no more Price is Right for you. *sees Tatanga in the seat* Oh, hi! ^_^
(She leaves to take a seat.)
Tatanga: Hi.
Calypso: ^_^ First question: when did you first appear?
Tatanga: I appeared in Super Mario Land as the main villain. I was hired as a hitman, not a kidnapper, but my father ordered me to kidnap her instead.
Calypso: Why were you hired to kill Daisy?
Tatanga: She wanted to kill Wario because he wouldn’t kill Moira. From what I remember, Wario, who is the one who hired me, hid in Mario’s castle while I did the job. Unfortunately, my father ordered me to kidnap Daisy rather than finish her, which would have been easier. In order to short out Daisy’s powers and kidnap her, I used a spell Triton had taught me a year earlier. But seriously, Dad’s the one who wanted to marry Daisy, not me. I was helping Wario and am one of the good guys.
Calypso: If you didn’t want to marry Daisy, why’d you leave those traps?
Tatanga: I didn’t. Dad left those to slow Mario down while I tried to load Daisy on the ship. As for the other guys, of course they’re going to attack Mario! I had nothing to do with that! He’s foreign to that land, so naturally they’re going to protect their homes against something potentially harmful to them.
Calypso: Now I know why people portray Mario as an idiot. Last question and we go to audience. Now, what was your purpose in SML2?
Tatanga: I once again was called to protect Wario from Daisy. Wario wasn’t that steamed that I had failed him before, so he gave me another chance. He made me a magic key shaped as a coin that I was supposed to destroy if Daisy got close. Unfortunately, Mario was too quick for everyone, including me, so I failed again…
Calypso: Good lord… Seat IHADNOIDEATHISSTUFFWASGOINGON!
Mario: Seriously, I had no idea! So, why’d you try to kill me?
Tatanga: I was desperately trying to avoid Wario’s disappointment and my father’s reaction to my failure to bring Daisy to my home planet for the wedding ceremony.
Mario: I’m sorry… If I’d known what she actually was, I wouldn’t have rescued her.
Tatanga: I understand, man. Seat NINTENDOMADEMELOOKLIKEAFLOOZY!
Candy Kong: I plan on suing them for that. Anyway, why do you keep referencing your father?
Tatanga: I reference him because people keep seeing me as this ugly, awful person when I’m actually very nice. Dad thinks kindness is a sign of weakness, and that’s why he made me kidnap Daisy. Given the chance, he’d kill me or sell my soul to save his own life. He even killed my mom because she was unable to have any more kids. He’s that awful of a person. He’s the one who caused many of Galaxy’s courses.
Everyone: WHAAAAAAT?!
Tatanga: Did you honestly think that Bowser, who has a brain roughly half the size of a human red blood cell, would scatter those stars across the universe? We would be under Dad’s rule had he, instead of Bowser, kidnapped Peach. Seat WHATINTHEWORLDAREYOUDOINGHERE?
Blue Wind: Why are you using these dumb gags? Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell-
(He gets KO’d by Kamek’s wand blast.)
Calypso: Thanks, Dad. Seat BOWSEROFDREAMLAND!
King DeDeDe: Why does everybody keep saying that?
Calypso: Because it’s true. Ask a question. Now.
DeDeDe: Do you plan on being in another game?
Tatanga: Yes. I wish I (or rather my dad) could’ve appeared in Galaxy, but I could appear in a Mario Party game-
K’nuckles (in seat REDSONIC): ARE YOU CRAZY?! If Daisy tried to do Wario in, what do think she’ll do to you when you’re both in close proximity?!
Tatanga: I didn’t finish. I said I could appear in a Mario Party as a last resort. Please don’t do that again. Seat RECURRINGDARKKOOPAGAG!
Pink Yoshi: Do you like Yoshis?
Tatanga: If I could stand being around Onyx, then yes. I wouldn’t know about you, though…
Calypso (turning white): Um, that might have been a bad move on your part, dude.
Tatanga: How so?
(Pink gets the you-know-what look and beats Tatanga to a bloody pulp.)
Calypso: That’s how. Well, with him out of commission for the moment, I’ll end this.
(Calypso tries to turn the camera off, but the craziest guy in Internet meme history knocks her down.)
Dr. Octogonapus: DR. OCTOGONAPUS-
Calypso: THAT’S IT!!! NEXT TIME, YOU’RE INTERVIEWING!!!
Dr. Octogonapus: Says who?
Queen Sunny: Says the mother of the child you hurt, and if you don’t heed her wishes, I’ll make sure you don’t appear in Lazer Collection 5. Capiche?
Dr Octogonapus: *gulp* Yeah.
Queen Sunny: Good. No one dies in here, but they can in the outside world. Remember that.
Dr. Octogonapus: Gotcha. END TRANSMISSION!!!
TRANSMISSION ENDED
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