(The camera zooms into a room next to the main stage, where Ludwig X can be seen in a tuxedo.)
Ludwig X: Why does Lemmy make me do this? A tuxedo? Come on!
Stone: Hey man, calm down! I know this is your first Interview, but stay cool!
Ludwig X: Okay… It's just so tight.
Aaron: You'll be fine. Hey, there's the signal!
(Midbus's hand can be seen smashed through the door.)
Ludwig X: Okay, wish me luck!
(Ludwig X walks onto the stage. One person can be heard clapping, but he eventually stops.)
Stone: (signaling) Speak loudly!
Ludwig X: *gulp* Hello everyone! Welcome to Lemmy's Interview Show! Today, I am going to start up a new series of Interviews! It will be called: The Unpopular Seople Interview Season!
Crowd: …
Ludwig X: Okay… The first person on this season will be a kind but tough machine, F.L.U.D.D.! Aaron, if you would be so kind, bring a few chairs for us to sit in!
(Aaron comes on the stage with two old stools. The audience whoops and cheers.)
Aaron: Thank you!
Ludwig X: (pulling Aaron over to him by the tie) Why did you get those stools from the basement?
Aaron: Stone was sitting on the ones you told me to get, and he wouldn't get up!
Ludwig X: Just bring F.L.U.D.D. up!
(Aaron runs offstage.)
Ludwig X: Okay! To entertain you for the few minutes it takes to get F.L.U.D.D. here, I will tell some jokes!
(Ludwig X looks to Lemmy in the front row. Lemmy's eyes are as wide as saucers.)
Ludwig X: … Two people are sitting on a bench. One tells the other a joke, and the other one laughs, just like you at the end of this joke!
Crowd: …
(Lemmy stands up and heads for a phone booth.)
Ludwig X: Oh snap! Well, here comes F.L.U.D.D.!
(Aaron picks up F.L.U.D.D. and then sets him on the stool. Cracking and creaking sounds can be heard.)
Ludwig X: Hello F.L.U.D.D.! Thank you for being with us! Okay, let's cut right to the chase with questions. Number one: You were on Mario's back for quite a while during the events of Super Mario Sunshine. How did it feel? Did you like it, or was it uncomfortable?
F.L.U.D.D: Well, a little bit of both. It wasn't uncomfortable because I can't feel much of anything unless I'm broken in some way. But it was sort of boring staring over Mario's head all the time, only seeing what he wanted to see.
Ludwig X: Well, I see. Next question: What happened to you before the events of Super Mario Sunshine?
F.L.U.D.D: Well, I was created by E. Gadd for the sole purpose of cleaning the island. E. Gadd happened to be on vacation on Delfino Isle when all the graffiti was spread. The locals knew he was a professor and had heard about his other inventions from earlier times, so they asked him to create something that would clean the mess. Thus, I came about. The locals took me as soon as I was finished and awaited the crook who would return to the scene of the crime. Well, they mistook Mario for the culprit, gave me to him, and that's how the grand adventure started.
Ludwig X: Wow! I've never heard that before! Well, next question: What happened to you AFTER the events of Sunshine?
F.L.U.D.D: Not much. After the real vacation, I was taken back by E. Gadd and we went home to his lab. I was used pretty often until a thing called Stuffwell came along. Man, can he run his mouth. Anyway, I was put in this closet and only taken out for the uses of Super Smash Brothers Brawl.
Ludwig X: Oh… Well, that's too bad. Last question before audience questions: How much does your water tank hold?
F.L.U.D.D: About 14.56 liters.
Ludwig X: E. Gadd programmed you well. Okay, audience questions! Let's see… I'm having such a hard time picking! Seat ITSAME!
Mario: Do you like me?
F.L.U.D.D: Yes, only you got a bit stinky when I was on your back.
Ludwig X: Seat IM97
Koopa Koot: Why do you squirt out water instead of coffee?
F.L.U.D.D: … Because coffee would expand my internal pumps to the limit because of its intense heat. Although I would like to try squirting an Electro Koopa with coffee sometime…
Ludwig X: Seat WERESOCOOL.
Koopa Bros (all crammed into one seat): Could you beat us in a fight?
F.L.U.D.D: With Mario, undoubtedly, yes.
Ludwig X: (I'm almost done…) Seat ILIKEGOLF!
The King: Did you save my daughter? I've been wondering that for seven years now!
F.L.U.D.D: Wow. Yes, I did, along with Mario.
The King: Oh good! I was worried!
Ludwig X: Well, thank you for being here, F.L.U.D.D. Well, I guess that does it for us. Goodbye!
(Ludwig X walks off the stage.)
The crowd stares at the stage with blank looks.
Ludwig X: Whew! So how'd I do?
(Just as he says this, he hears a voice in his mind.)
F.L.U.D.D: I am communicating with you telepathically.
Ludwig X: No you're not.
F.L.U.D.D: Okay, I'm using your microphone. But I have to tell you, you haven't said End Transmission yet.
Ludwig X: Oh man!
(He runs back out onstage and screeches to a halt.)
Ludwig X: End transmission!
(The film ends, but you are seeing through your mind what happens next. Okay, it's just your microphone.
Ludwig X: So Lemmy, how was that?
Lemmy: Get better or you're out.
Ludwig X: *gulp* For all those who are listening… End transmission!!!
Transmission ended.
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