Desert Land Palace, June 23, 3:00 PM
Benny: What am I supposed to do in this kind of heat?!
Silvermist: I am inclined to believe that you have an Interview.
Benny: WHAT THE?! YOU’RE STILL ALIVE?! Sunny said you were dead!!!
Silvermist: *chuckles* Unlikely. Mom only said that to protect me.
Benny: Oh… :/ So, who do I interview?
Silvermist: Let me check these cards… Today you interview Elder Princess Shroob.
(Silvermist leaves.)
Benny: !!! Oh dear lord… 0_0 This does not bode well… but let’s get this over with.
Later, in the ballroom…
Benny: Hey, fellas, fillies, buds! I’m Sunny’s friend Benny and this is-
Lemmy: LEMMY’S INTERVIEW SHOW!!!
(Benny grabs Lemmy by the neck and pulls him very close to his mask.)
Benny (whispering): I suggest if you want to still see or even breathe, you WILL remain silent.
(Lemmy nods and runs like the wind to his seat.)
Benny (normal voice): >:) Glad we got that settled. So anyway, today I’m interviewing Elder Princess Shroob-
(Everyone starts screaming their heads off and running around, trying to leave.)
Benny: … QUIET!!! And please return to your seats…
(Everyone does so.)
Benny: -.-’ (It’s a wonder how Sunny deals with this…) So, without further ado, I introduce to you, Elder Princess Shroob! Say hello!
(EPS walks onstage to see everyone cowering in fear.)
EPS: What’s with them?
Benny: *shudders* Don’t ask. First question, what games did you appear in?
EPS: I appeared in Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time as the REAL final boss. I also appeared in Bowser’s Inside Story as a cameo.
Benny: Mmm-hmm. Second question: Why did you attack Peach?
EPS: *sigh* Despite what everyone says about me and my people, we’re not a violent or creepy species at all. Being that I’m super-protective of my sister, I attacked Peach because I thought she was going to hurt her. Long story short, one thing led to another, and well… you get the idea.
Benny: That explains a lot… But then again, if Mario, Luigi, and the others had known what happened, we wouldn’t have had a super cool adventure like that.
Calypso (who‘s operating the camera): And Mom would still be bragging about her VG accomplishments!
Benny: -_-’ Ignoring that. So, here’s an important question: which one of you REALLY rules the Shroobs?
EPS: My younger sis does. Well… partially rules them, because at the time of PiT, she was 15 and not old enough to rule. I ruled as her regent.
Benny: Sunny became Queen at age 11 and she’s doing just fine…
EPS: She’s a different case.
Benny: Mmm… Ok. Last question and we go to the audience. What exactly happened to make you guys attack the Mushroom Kingdom?
(EPS has tears in her eyes.)
Benny: You ok?
EPS: *sniffles* Yeah. It’s just that your question really hit home.
Benny: I didn’t know it was THAT bad… You need to take a break?
EPS: I’m fine. I’ll tell you the story. It begins like this: my sis and I were enjoying a lazy summer at the castle. One day while Mom and Dad were on business trips in the countryside, we were watching the news and we saw this one segment about this mysterious conqueror known only as Tatanga.
Benny: 0.0 You mean…
EPS: *shakes head* No. That wasn’t him. That was his father. Back to the story, we thought our royal army could’ve easily taken care of the threat, but we were wrong. Dead wrong.
About 4 hours later…
EPS: … And that’s what happened. I was 9, Sis was 5.
Benny: Wow, that’s really intense! T_T
EPS: He would’ve done the same thing to Plit if-
Queen Sunny (in seat IHAVEMYOWNGAGREELS): DON’T!!! I’M SAVING THAT FOR THE TATANGA INTERVIEW!!!
EPS: Sorry!
Benny: She doesn’t like to spoil backstories. Seat IWASABRAWLCANDIDATE!
Geno: And proud of it! So, what’s your favorite Plit minion?
EPS: Probably Lakitu, since they’re the second hardest enemies to kill off.
Benny: And the single hardest enemy would be…?
EPS: Fawful.
Calypso: XD XD XD
EPS: THAT’S NOT FUNNY!!! IT TOOK MY SISTER AND I FIVE HOURS TO FIND HIM, AND WHEN WE DID, IT WAS TOO LATE!!!
Benny: Ouch. Seat WHEREHAVEYOUBEEN!
Biribiri X: I went home. So, what did you mean by “too late”?
EPS: I meant that my sister and I were locked in the cold room by the time we found Fawful.
Benny: Makes sense. Seat ALLTOASTERSTOASTTOAST!
Mario: How are you able to turn into a monster?
EPS: Sunny isn’t the only one under a curse, you know… What happened to me is only part one of what’s to come.
Everyone: 0.0
Benny: Um… Seat ITHOUGHTP.T.GOTRIDOFYOU!
Nacho Libre: NACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--
Benny: Ugggh… Seat GAGKILLER!
Ludwig: CHOCOLAAAAATE!!! CHOCOLAAAATE!!! CHOCOLAAAATE!!!
EPS: MUST WE DO THIS EVERY INTERVIEW?!
Calypso: For ratings, yes.
Benny: -.- I’ll try this one more time… Seat PINGAS!
Dr. Robotnik: This is why I’m not in the Sonic games anymore… So, do you plan on appearing in another game?
EPS: FINALLY someone with a brain! As for your question, yes as long it’s not an RPG. People think my appearance, like Fawful’s, was a gimmick.
Dark Koopa: It’s about time someone said that…
Benny: I agree. Fawful should’ve stayed- *hears noises* Did you guys hear that?
Luigi (in seat QUITPORTRAYINGMEASAWUSS): Hear what?
The noises are heard again, but louder this time.
Spyro (in seat DRAGONMARIO): I have a bad feeling about this…
As if on cue, several infamous Interview gags come bursting through the door.
300 Guy: THIS IS SUUUUB-COOOON!!!
Veganto: IT’S OVER ONE HUUUNDREEEEED!!!
Dr Octogonapus: DR. OCTOGONAPUS BWAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Cell: IMMA FIRIN MA LAZORZ!!!!1!1!!!!!1!1!
Snowy Owl: ORLY?
King of Hyrule: Mah boi, this peace is what ALL true warriors strive for!
(Benny KOs the king.)
Benny: Not according to the laws of running gags. END TRANSMISSION!!!
Calyso: Will do. Mom’s SO going to give me an earful…
(Calypso tries to turn off the camera, but is thrown into the audience by an enemy thought to have been put out of action long ago.)
Calypso: What the- *turns around* YOU?!
King Nightmare (A New Threat): WHERE IS SHE?!
Queen Sunny: I’ll handle this.
(Sunny uses lightning to temporarily disable Nightmare and zap him back to his home. Unfortunately, this effort also destroys the camera.)
Queen Sunny: Ohhhh-
TRANSMISSION INTERRUPTED
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