Bowser Jr: Alwight people, since dose Swedge Bwos. beat up Goomba last Interview, he's in the hospital and will stay there for the wemainder of the Interview. So he picked Lemmy, his favourite chawacter, to interview tonight. But just to annoy Goomba, I came in instead! Now, let's get stawted! I will pick a wandom person off the top of my head! Mmmm... Lord Cwump!
(Lord Crump appears.)
Lord Crump: Whuzzat? Whozere?
Bowser Jr: Quiet, you! I'm interviewing you! Now, for my fiwst question, what do you look like underneath that suit?
Lord Crump: I'll show you.
(Lord Crump lifts up his mask. The screen suddenly goes black, and when it is back on Bowser Jr. is shocked.)
Bowser Jr: That's... not how things... work...
(Suddenly, Waluigi barges in and beats up Bowser Jr, who proceeds to run crying offstage.)
Waluigi: I will be conducting this Interview! Now, for my first question, why were you attacking Goombella at the beginning of the game?
Lord Crump: Well, we knew she was a good information source for the Crystal Stars, but she was so snarky about it! She was like "I ain't givin' you no info!" And I was like "Well you're gonna have to if you want to live!" Then that Mario came in and ruined everything!
Waluigi: How did you get back to Plit after you got blasted into space?
Lord Crump: I stole this weird space kid's spaceship. But he was so annoying! He kept saying dumb stuff like "You listen to Squirps now, space grunt!" I don't even know what that means!
Waluigi: Interesting. Now, how was pressing a button on that little remote supposed to blow up the Great Tree? I mean, if it was a bomb, wouldn't it blow up in your hand?
Lord Crump: I planned to just chuck it in some random direction as I left the tree, but that old geezer stopped me before I had the chance.
Waluigi: Why did you go to Poshley Heights after the game ended?
Lord Crump: Who wouldn't go there to retire? It's a nice city.
Waluigi: Why did you change Magnus Von Grapple's color from pink to black?
Lord Crump: Pink is girly! 'Nuff said.
Waluigi: But... *sniff* I LIKE PINK!
Lord Crump: Do you like Barbies?
Waluigi: Of course. Who doesn't?
(Lord Crump pulls out a Barbie and snaps its neck.)
Waluigi: WAAAHHH!!!
Lord Crump: Shut up and ask me questions!
Waluigi: Do you still work for Grodus?
Lord Crump: No. We both retired from evilness.
Waluigi: Where was the Crystal Star you found in Rogueport?
Lord Crump: You know the room with the Spanias and the Spunia? That's where it was.
Waluigi: It's-a time for audience questioooons! Seat 43.
Fawful: I HAVE FURY! Did you know of Grodus's plot to revive the Shadow Queen?
Lord Crump: No. I'm still mad at him. But, according to the game, Shadow Queen is greater than Grodus.
Waluigi: Seat 999.
Jawful: Do you like the Shadow Sirens?
Lord Crump: NO! They're ugly, they're traitors, and they boss me around!
Waluigi: We are out of time, so we'll see you next time on Goomba's Interview Show. And don't worry, he'll be back next time.
Lord Crump: End transmission.
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