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THE AXEM RANGERS interviews PRINCE HARU
 
By BlueKoopaBro

(The Axem Rangers are beginning their Interview show. They have landed their Blade and are using it as their studio. Green has gathered the audience although it mainly consists of Goombas and Shy Guys, Black is putting on his shades, Yellow is eating a triple bacon cheeseburger, Pink is putting on her makeup, and Red is checking everything to make sure things are ready. They all meet up before they are about to go on.)

Red: Okay, so we have everything: the audience, the place, and some other things; but we're missing one thing.

Green: What's that?

Red: We have no one to interview.

Yellow: How about we talk to one of the audience members for that?

Black: Theys too borin', yo. What kind of Interview are we making? The usual Lemmy deals? This is our show; his rules ain't nothin' here.

Pink: Black!

Black: What? You know Red blew up his studio. This is The Axem Rangers X Show, not Lemmy's Interview Show, for cryin' out loud. We're makin' our own guidelines. Swearing is allowed, violence is in town, and any infractions come as our sounds.

Red: Woah, woah, woah. Calm down, Black. We may be more lenient, but we're not going as far as swearing.

Black: Aawww *blowhorn sound*… Green, did you just censor me?

Green: What? You think I carry a blowhorn for nothing?

Pink: Boys, enough! The show's about to start.

Red: Already? Sheesh, I thought we had more time.

Yellow: What are we going to do?

Red: Here's the plan: We get on the stage and do our little intro, we choose a random audience member, we ask some questions, and that's that. Got it?

Other four Axem Rangers: Yeah!

They teleport behind a curtain (Why they put one in their ship, I'll never know). The camera starts rolling and the curtain moves up. showing the group with their backs turned.

"Red: We fight for evil.

Black: We live for disorder.

Green: We like what we do.

Yellow: We eat donuts.

Pink: We wear the trendiest clothes.

Red: We are...

(All five of them swing their axes for a few seconds.)

All Five Rangers: Axem Rangers X!"

Red: And welcome to our show. For our first "official" Interview, we're gonna pick someone out of the audience.

(All five start looking around until Green sees a man who looks human. He stands out from the Shy Guys and Goombas.)

Green: Hey you! In the back…

?????: Me?

Red: You heard him. Get up here.

(The unknown man walks up on the stage, wondering what they will ask.)

Red: All right, mystery man. Tell us who you are.

Pink: But make sure it's in a stylish way.

?????: Very well.

(The man turns to the audience and poses.)

?????: I am PRINCE HARU of the Flower Kingdom!

Black: There's a Flower Kingdom?

Prince Haru: Of course; just like there is a Mushroom Kingdom.

Red: We did not know that.

Audience: Neither did we.

Red: Okay. So what game are you from?

Prince Haru: I was never in any game. I am an important character in the movie Super Mario Bros: Peach-Hime Kyushutsu Dai Sakusen.

Yellow: What?

Red: In English, please.

Prince Haru: Super Mario Bros: The Great Mission to Rescue Princess Peach.

Everyone Else: Ooooooooohhhh.

Red: I see. What was your role in the Flower Kingdom?

Prince Haru: A few decades ago, my kingdom and the Mushroom Kingdom were to be united as the prophecy told us. It said that the royal children of both kingdoms, me and Princess Peach, were to bond in holy matrimony, so-

Black: Say what? You tellin' us that you married Princess Peach?

Prince Haru: That is exactly what happened.

Audience: GASP!

Pink: Did Mario know anything about this?

Prince Haru: He found out once I told him and his brother.

(The audience members have their eyes and mouths wide open.)

Red: Well, uh, didn't see that coming... Did Bowser try to stop this from happening?

Prince Haru: Why yes. He captured me and turned me into a dog, then began chasing after Peach.

Green: Why did he turn you into a dog?

Prince Haru: He did not want us to be married at all, not even in a dungeon. He thought Peach wouldn't recognize me or wouldn't feel right marrying an animal, and that he would have more of a shot at marrying her.

Yellow: Couldn't Peach's dad change you back with his magic?

Prince Haru: He may be a wizard, but he doesn't know a thing about transformation spells. He can reveal locations, but no changing me back.

Pink: So what happened between you and Peach?

Prince Haru: A few years later, she was acting strange. She later told me that she loved Mario more, since he saved her after all. I understood perfectly the minute Mario freaked out about me marrying Peach. We decided to divorce and remain friends, so Mario would make his return to the Mushroom Kingdom.

Pink: Aaaawww. That's so sad.

Prince Haru: It was probably for the best. I mean, they look like a perfect couple.

Red: I guess. What was your first opinion on the Mario Bros?

Prince Haru: When I met them, I knew that Mario was destined to be the greatest hero in history. As for Luigi, I thought he was a greedy fool; all he cared about was money.

Black: Luigi, greedy? Get outta here.

Prince Haru: No, I'm serious. All he talked about was gold and cash during that time.

Green: What changed him into a coward?

Prince Haru: When he first met King Koopa. When he saw that scaly, fire-breathing monster, he let Mario and I handle him while he stayed in the background.

Pink: How did that green gem in Peach's necklace change you back to normal?

Prince Haru: One part of the prophecy was for Mario to defeat Bowser. Once he did, the next part was to pass. The gem activated and relinquished Bowser's spell on me.

Red: Why hasn't anyone heard from you since?

Prince Haru: I'm afraid The King was not very fond of me and Peach separating. Once it happened, he banned me from his castle, and I had to live the normal life of a Mushroomer, which isn't so bad once you get used to it.

Black: What? No riot? No uprising? NOTHIN'?!

Prince Haru: Nothing of the sort. The people of my kingdom were upset that I was banished, but I told them about Peach and Mario, and they settled down.

Red: That's not so bad. *turns to the audience* Let's see if the audience has any questions for him.

(The audience doesn't respond.)

Red: No volunteers? Fine, we'll call whoever we want. You in the middle.

Goomba: Did you really trust those two Goombas who were leading you places?

Prince Haru: The Mario Bros. believed them enough, that is until they sent us into a trap. I just went, as you say, with the crowd.

Red: Shy Guy in camo.

Spy Guy: How was it as a dog?

Prince Haru: It wasn't all that good. I did not have opposable thumbs, I had to walk on four legs, and I could only attack by biting. But at least I could still talk.

Red: Black Shy Guy.

Anti Guy: Why were you called Kibidango while a dog?

Prince Haru: Peach's father believed it was an appropriate name for me.

Red: Fair enough. Dancing Shy Guy.

Groove Guy: Did you want to marry Peach to begin with?

Prince Haru: Why wouldn't I? She was beautiful, and our kingdoms would merge into one.

Red: Blue Goomba with wings.

Paragloomba: I don't know what to ask.

Red: Oh, then Shy Guy on stilts.

Stilt Guy: How come we don't see any Flower people like we do Toads?

Prince Haru: You do. They’ve just assimilated and look like everyone else now.

Red: We're runnin' low on time. Last question. Green Goomba with the pointy hat.

Hyper Spiked Goomba: Why are we still calling you a prince when you got banished from the Mushroom Kingdom?

Prince Haru: I said The King banished me from his throne, not his kingdom.

Red: And that's it then. Been nice chattin' with you, Haru. Hope The King will unbanish you.

Prince Haru: All right. Goodbye.

(Prince Haru leaves the stage and exits the Blade.)

Red: That was Prince Haru, everybody. Wait ‘til next time, when we interview another person we barely know about. This is Red signin' out on-

All Five Rangers: The Axem Rangers X Show!

Red: Goodnight, Lord Smithy.

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