BlueKoopaBro (with a broken arm): Hi, everybody! Welcome back to…
(There is utter silence.)
BlueKoopaBro: ... Oh yeah, that's right. Everyone's at the hospital.
Back at the hospital...
Lemmy: Note to self, never allow Jr. Troopa back into my show ever again.
Back onstage...
Lakitu Cameraman (with a broken shell): Who are we supposed to interview now?
BlueKoopaBro: Lemme think; the only people intact are us and that trashcan. So, I guess we'll be interviewing-
Lakitu Cameraman: You can't be serious.
(Morton pops out of the trashcan.)
Morton: ME! I'll be the interviewee. I'd loved to be interviewed by many adoring fans, and they just love to hear me-
Lakitu Cameraman: Just shut up and get on the stage.
(Morton sits on some ashes of what used to be a chair.)
BlueKoopaBro: So Morton, why are you always so talkative?
Morton: Don't even get me started. King Dad never appreciated me as a baby; he thought I was completely ugly, so he ignored me. So now, I want to have as much attention as possible. Then I was thinking that I like-
BlueKoopaBro: Okay, don't get off topic. When you talk, can you answer anyone's questions about anything they desire?
Morton: Of course I can. I can tell anyone anything they want to know, but they don't pay attention to me long enough to get all the right details, and I mean up to the tip top of the exact, the amazing, the-
Lakitu Cameraman: (turning to BlueKoopaBro) We knew this stuff long before you asked those questions.
BlueKoopaBro: (Maybe I should throw you in the trashcan.) All right, enough with the stuff we already know. How come you looked green in Super Mario World?
Morton: The Nintendo guys who made me put in a glitch that made me look green instead of the usual dark brown. Green is not my favorite color. Green is just so-
BlueKoopaBro: How come you could shake the ground there and not in Super Mario Bros. 3?
Morton: I got fatter than I was those earlier years. I was really packing on the pounds due to eating-
Lakitu Cameraman: No, lemme guess. Wedding cake?
Morton: No, that's just a rumor. I got out of shape because of Kamek's Mystery Meat.
BlueKoopaBro: I didn't know Kamek can cook.
Morton: He can't; he whips it up with his magic wand like he does everything else. Trust me, don't eat it. Those meals are high in fat and are made out of-
BlueKoopaBro: I don't even wanna know. I'll take your word for it... Hhmmm, here's an interesting one: I heard that you and Susan were together one time. What's that about?
Morton: What?! That's crazy; where did you hear that from? *starts sweating* Susan likes Larry! You're lucky she ain't here right now, otherwise she'd rip your shell like it was nothing but a piece of paper, because she can be tough when she needs to be, and when she does-
BlueKoopaBro: Okay, I've heard indirect threats before. Does Bowser like you now that you're not a baby?
Morton: No; he still thinks I'm his ugliest kid ever.
Lakitu Cameraman: ... Amazing! You stopped talking.
Morton: Everything was all right until now.
BlueKoopaBro: ... Oh, sorry Morton. Anyways, let's go to audience questions. Seat 10110.
Lakitu Cameraman: No one's there.
BlueKoopaBro: Ok. Seat NumeroUno.
Lakitu Cameraman: There's no one there either. In fact, there's no audience at all.
BlueKoopaBro: What?!
Lakitu Cameraman: Remember the Koopa Bros. Interview?
BlueKoopaBro: ... Dang it! I guess I'll just keep asking questions then. Morton, how did you survive that lightning blast without getting hurt?
Morton: The trashcan Roy threw me in must have had a blast-proof shield on it. But I didn't like it anyways; there was an old banana peel with "Property of DK" written on it. Did I ever like bananas in the first place? I wonder if-
BlueKoopaBro: Okay. Aside from that, how come in the games you look, well, fatter, and in the cartoons you look slim?
Morton: I used to eat so much food before me and my brothers and sister became stars. Before I could get on the show, the directors told me to lose weight, and some bird named Rawk Hawk trimmed me down. Once there were no more episodes, I couldn't help but start eating again. At least I'm not as big as Ludwig; he's so huge he can shake the ground while walking. I wonder how much my sister weighs, cuz she’s never said it. I'm thinking-
BlueKoopaBro: Stop right there. Man, if they heard you right now, they would beat you up more than Roy ever would... What else do you do besides talking and eating?
Morton: First of all, I don't just talk and eat. Sometimes when I'm alone with one of my siblings, I talk like a normal Koopa would. I use my magic wand occasionally. Why are you asking me these kinds of questions anyway? You've seen the questions appear already, at least I think you have, and-
Lakitu Cameraman: How about this? Morton, how would you like to be an interviewer?
Morton: Would I? I'd love to. I would love to talk to people while they completely pay attention to me, and the audience would-
BlueKoopaBro: Ok, ok. Just show up next time I do an Interview, and you will have my chair.
Morton: YAAAAAAAAAY!
BlueKoopaBro: Wait! Before you go, I need to know one thing: Did you really like Desert Land?
Morton: Of course I did. Why wouldn't I? I was all the talk there, and I got a tan so I would stand out and get more attention. I didn't like their food though; it was all plain and bland and dry and-
Lakitu Cameraman: All right, go home and be ready for next time.
(Morton leaves the stage, and the Lakitu turns to BlueKoopaBro.)
Lakitu Cameraman: I'm betting 20 Koopaling votes that people won't listen to him.
BlueKoopaBro: You're on! *turns to the camera* Oh no! We were LIVE the whole time!
Lakitu Cameraman: Relax; the people here are probably in a coma right now. Besides, who would be watching this show after such a big explosion?
Back at the hospital, Lemmy and a few audience members have been watching TV, and they saw the whole Interview including the deal with Morton and the bet.
Lemmy: BlueKoopaBro, you are so getting banned once I get out of here.
Back onstage...
BlueKoopaBro: Guess we’d better end the Interview then.
Lakitu Cameraman: End transmission.
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