(As you know. 1-up Boo and the rest are soaring through the sky AGAIN…)
1-up Boo: Bored, bored, bored… Soaring, soaring, soaring… Bored, bored, bored…
Vim: Would you stop saying that?!
1-up Boo: Hmmmm… Nah.
Vim: Hopefully we don’t land in another dangerous place… Then again. all places are dangerous with you around.
1-up Boo: Stop talking, we’re going to land soon.
Kingfin: Hungry.
Void: How do you know we’re going to land?
1-up Boo: Wha? Oh, I guessed.
Vim: Go figure.
1-up Boo: SILENCE!
(1-up Boo starts slapping Vim.)
Void: Interesting… Hey, we are going to land soon.
1-up Boo: *stops slapping Vim* Great. KINGFIN!
Kingfin: Yes Boss?
1-up Boo: Give me your spear.
Kingfin: Okay.
Vim: …
1-up Boo: Don’t speak, he found it. Anyway…
(1-up Boo throws the spear and it plummets downward.)
Void: What was that for?
1-up Boo: If there’s anyone down there, they’ll see spears plummeting towards them! Terror from above!
Vim: … We’re landing soon.
1-up Boo: Yeah, I know.
Vim: Very soon.
1-up Boo: That’s-
(CRASH!!!)
1-up Boo: -wonderful.
Kingfin: Still hungry.
Void: Another crash-landing.
1-up Boo: I blame this entirely on you, Vim.
Vim: Don’t you blame everything on me?
1-up Boo: Yes… Wait… SILENCE!
(1-up Boo starts slapping Vim… again.)
Void: … Sir?
1-up Boo: (while slapping Vim) Yeeeeeees?
Void: Look… where… we… are.
1-up Boo: *stops slapping Vim* Hopefully it’s not another bomb testing site.
(1-up Boo turns to see an abandoned studio.)
Kingfin: *gasp*
1-up Boo: Gasp is right. But it’s not MY studio! Those black Koopas BLACKstabbed me! Heh? HEH?!
(Crickets chirp…)
Void: There’s crickets here?
1-up Boo: Enough talking, let us enter this… studio place.
(They all enter…)
1-up Boo: … It’s… it’s… COBWEBS!
(1-up Boo is pointing at a puny cobweb.)
1-up Boo: But more importantly… It’s an abandoned studio!
Kingfin: *gasp*
Vim: I wonder how long it’s been abandoned…
1-up Boo: I don’t care. Well, you know what we need to do now?
Void: See if anyone’s here?
Kingfin: Find food?
1-up Boo: … Vim?
Vim: What?
1-up Boo: You must make a suggestion.
Vim: We could, um, use your white remote thing to do something?
1-up Boo: Sure, why not.
(1-up Boo presses the repair button on his white remote but nothing happens.)
1-up Boo: Darn, it only applies to my studio. Well, let’s go.
Void: Shouldn’t we find out why it’s abandoned?
1-up Boo: Nah.
Kingfin: We could ask that Bandit questions.
1-up Boo: Na- huh?
(1-up Boo looks where Kingfin is pointing to see Bandit shoes/feet under a curtain.)
1-up Boo: Void, charge a blast.
Void: How about we approach peacefully?
1-up Boo: Fine, GO VIM!
Vim: Huh?
1-up Boo: GO! Reason with the Bandit! GO! GO I SAY!
Vim: No.
(1-up Boo pulls out his rocket launcher and takes aim at Vim. Vim hurries to check the Bandit.)
1-up Boo: That’s better.
Vim: …
(Vim pulls the curtain and reveals a Bandit.)
Bandit: Hi?
Kingfin: Do you have food?
Bandit: No?
Kingfin: Darn.
1-up Boo: Let me handle this, guys, I know how to negotiate with Bandits… Okay, really I don’t, but oh well.
(1-up Boo floats to the Bandit and leans close to him.)
1-up Boo: … FEAR ME!
Bandit: AGH!
(The Bandit covers his eyes.)
1-up Boo: Ha, sorry, had to do that. Okay, KINGFIN, the camera!
(Kingfin spews out a camera.)
1-up Boo: VIM! Get an audience!
Vim: How-
1-up Boo: Don’t know, don’t care. NOW GO!
Vim: Grrrr…
(Vim goes off…)
Bandit: What’s going on?
1-up Boo: I’m interviewing you. Any resistance will be met with you being tied to that ceiling fan.
(1-up Boo points to a very old ceiling fan above him covered in cobwebs. It falls and almost hits the Bandit.)
Bandit: Eep!
1-up Boo: … Awkward. Now let us begin. Why is your face drawn on?
Bandit: It’s not drawn on!
1-up Boo: Sure looks like it.
Bandit: Well it’s not! Can I just leave?
1-up Boo: No, how do you steal money and such just by bumping into people?
Bandit: A technique where we hit them in a perfect way that knocks the money or items out of their pockets.
1-up Boo: Hmm… Say all the types of Bandits.
Bandit: Normal bandits like me; Big Bandits, who are usually leaders; Badge Bandits; and Items Bandits.
1-up Boo: *gasp…* Hey wait a second… Why are you here anyway?
Bandit: I WAS NOT looking for treasure.
(1-up Boo slaps the Bandit.)
1-up Boo: TRUTH!
Bandit: I-
(1-up Boo slaps the Bandit again.)
1-up Boo: TRUTH!
Bandit: But I-
(1-up Boo pulls out his rocket launcher.)
1-up Boo: TRUTH!
Bandit: Okay, I was looking for treasure!
1-up Boo: Good, Kingfin. Ask the fellow Bandit a question.
Kingfin: Why were so many of you in Dry, Dry Desert?
Bandit: Lots of tired and weak people being in the desert and all, easy to steal from them.
1-up Boo: Okay, what’s with YOUR masks?
Bandit: Huh?
1-up Boo: … Why do you wear them?
Bandit: Oh, well we don’t want anyone to identify us for all the crimes we do. So we wear the masks to prevent that.
1-up Boo: What do you do with the stuff you steal?
Bandit: We usually sell the stuff. Unless it’s cool to us, then we’ll keep it.
(Vim comes back in with a lot of scratches on him…)
1-up Boo: Why- Oh hi, Vim… Where’s the audience?
Vim: … I’m covered in scratches!
1-up Boo: Your point?
Vim: … I was looking until something attacked me. I couldn’t make out what it was ‘cause I couldn’t see it.
Bandit: Oh, that must’ve been my friend-
(1-up Boo and the rest are all glaring at the Bandit.)
Bandit: My frrrrrrrrr… I got nothing.
(A Bandit walks in the studio.)
Bandit2: Hi.
Bandit: Hey Bob.
1-up Boo: That your friend?
Bandit: Yes.
1-up Boo: ASK YOUR FRIEND A QUESTION!
Bob: Why?
Bandit: Just do it, Bob, this Boo is violent.
Vim: Tell me about it.
(1-up Boo slaps Vim quite hard.)
Vim: Owww…
Bob: Ummm… Are there rich Bandits?
Bandit: You don’t know that?
Bob: Actually no.
Bandit: Well, yes. Some steal so much or are so talented at stealing that they become rich. Some can even retire with what they make.
1-up Boo: Vim, you ask one.
Vim: Where do you keep the money you get?
Bandit: We usually just hide it somewhere very hidden. Though when we come back to our stash it’s usually gone! Who would steal someone else’s stuff?!
1-up Boo: You?
Void: You?
Kingfin: You?
Vim: You?
Bandit: Of course not- Wait…
(1-up Boo slaps the Bandit.)
Bandit: Ow…
1-up Boo: Loser, do you have a leader?
Bandit: No, we are leader-less…
1-up Boo: …
Bandit: Don’t you-
1-up Boo: HA HA HA HA!!!
Bandit: -mock… me.
1-up Boo: Ha… ha… um… What’s with the blue Bandits in Rogueport? ‘Cause they don’t seem to steal at all or use violence.
Bandit: Well, it’s too dangerous to steal in Rogueport with the chances of being caught. Though very few do sometimes steal with success.
1-up Boo: Audience que- Oh right…
Bandit: … You could just let your friends ask more?
Vim: He is NOT my friend.
1-up Boo: Quiet, Vim. Okay, Kingfin!
Kingfin: Why Bandits in Pit of 100 Trials?
Bandit: Searching for treasure.
1-up Boo: Wait, why is it that only Badge Bandits appear in there?
Bandit: Ummm… I don’t know… Maybe they’ve just developed skills by being in there or something?
1-up Boo: You’re not saying everything.
Bandit: Lies.
1-up Boo: Bandits lie a lot. TRUTH! Do we have to go through this again?
(1-up Boo pulls out his rocket launcher.)
Bandit: Uhhh… OKAY! All Badge Bandits are searching for the mythical badge at the end of the Pit of 100 Trials.
1-up Boo: That’s better. Void!
Void: Why is it you can only steal up to about ten coins or so from Mario?
Bandit: Erm… Honestly, I don’t know that either. He probably has a heavily sealed wallet or something. Plus he always tries to block our attacks, which makes it a lot harder.
1-up Boo: That doesn’t sound right, but okay. Vim?
Vim: No.
1-up Boo: YES!
Vim: Ugh… Any hopes for future games?
1-up Boo: Aw, not that dreaded question when there’s nothing else to think of.
Bandit: Yes, personally I think we should really appear in a sport game. But any more appearances will be nice.
1-up Boo: That’s a wrap. Now get out.
Bandit: Huh?
1-up Boo: GET OUT!
Bandit: Why?
(1-up Boo pulls out his rocket launcher.)
1-up Boo: Void, charge a shadow blast, I have a shotgun too, by the way. I’m not blasting off again… not in this Interview anyway. NOW GET OUT.
Bandit: Eep, let’s go, Bob!
Bob: Way ahead of you!
(Both Bandits speed out.)
1-up Boo: Mwa ha ha… What a wonderful Interview.
Vim: *sigh…*
1-up Boo: Camera destroying time.
(1-up Boo grabs the top of the camera and throws it out a closed window, breaking it and hitting the Bandit on the head.)
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