(You can see some kind of title card)
P.T.’s voice: Hello, I’m not the Nostalgia Critic. I don’t remember anything, so you have to.
(P.T. and Lemmy are backstage.)
Lemmy: If you’re doing a series of interviews, what’s with the long hiatus between this one and the previous one?!
P.T.: My favorite color is no business of yours.
Lemmy: That’s not what I asked.
P.T.: You asked with your eyes.
Lemmy: … Anyway-
P.T.: I don’t care what kind of mushroom is your least favorite.
Lemmy: That’s not what I asked.
P.T.: Isn’t it?
Lemmy: No…
P.T.: Isn’t it?
Lemmy: All right, fine. But why haven’t you been interviewing lately?
P.T.: I couldn’t think of any questions! And then I got swamped!
Lemmy: With what?!
(FLASHBACK!)
(P.T. is standing alone in a swamp.)
P.T.: … I don’t think I should be here…
(END FLASHBACK!)
Lemmy: Well I have to do some personal stuff and your gang went to get smoothies without you since you hate smoothies, so you’ll have to interview!
P.T.: Dang it!
Soon...
P.T.: So… What ARE you?
Midbus: I AM AN ARMYPILLO! IT’S AN ARMADILLO-PIG CREATURE!
P.T.: How’d you meet Fawful?
Midbus: FAWFUL WAS CACKLETTA’S BEST STUDENT OF EDUCATING! I WAS THE WINNER OF SECOND PLACE-NESS!
P.T.: Then why weren’t you in that game?
Midbus: I WAS GUARDING THE FORT!
P.T.: So why’d you go to work for Fawful?
Midbus: HE SAID I’D GET TO RUN BOWSER’S ARMY!
P.T.: (This is getting boring… Better spice this up somehow…)
And so...
Midbus: WHY HAVE YOU MADE A RACK OF SPICE-HOLDING?!
P.T.: Hey, I’M asking the questions around here!
Midbus: BUT-
P.T.: EH!
(P.T. hangs the spice rack on the back wall.)
P.T.: So are you pretty much the pig/armadillo version of Bowser’s turtle/dragon…ness?
Midbus: NO! ARMYPILLOS ARE ALL LIKE THIS!
P.T.: I see… Where do you guys come from?
Midbus: ANYWHERE WE FEEL LIKE! WHERE DO YOU HUMANS COME FROM?!
P.T.: I don’t know. I’m a Plit Human.
Midbus: SEE?
P.T.: Anyway, what are you gonna do now that Fawful’s… you know…
Midbus: DEAD?
P.T.: Dead?! That’d explain it… But yeah, now what?
Midbus: I’M A STRONGMAN FOR FIRE!
P.T. (with goatee): Yes, yes… How does zis make you feel?
Midbus (on a couch): I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY, DOC!
Audience: …
P.T. (w/o goatee): Well if you’re all so smart you can ask him then! Seat CHUNKY.
O’Chunks: I bet eh’m chunkiair ten ya!
Midbus: I BET NOT!
(Midbus and O’Chunks go outside to fight.)
P.T.: Hey! You can’t do that! Not without a cage! (Hmm… Now to entertain these people…)
(P.T. pulls out a Mushroom on a stick wearing a top hat. An audience member throws a rock at it, knocking it out of P.T.’s hand.)
Shy Guy: You’re not Jeff Dunham!
P.T.: Sorry… I DIDN’T KNOW! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
(P.T. runs out crying as Midbus has transformed into Blizzard Midbus to take on O’Chunks.)
P.T.: You can still do that?
Midbus: YES!
(Midbus creates a Snawful, but P.T. mistakes it for ice cream and swallows it whole.)
Inside P.T.’s Gut Check...
Snawful: Ow… Where am I?
(A yellow and orange Emoglobin block with sunglasses floats over and takes on the relative shape of P.T.’s head.)
Emoglobin: I’m the Piranha Globin, and I’m the head globin around these parts! Since you’re here, mind if I globin you some questions?
Snawful: Okay… But wait, doesn’t this mean you have to interview Leaf Guy and Biffidus, or whatever it was called?
Piranha Globin: Silence, non-globin! Now… How were you made?
Snawful: We were part of the beam that made Midbus become Blizzard Midbus. We took solid form in his head and came out through the opening hidden by the crown.
Piranha Globin: Oh globin, that’s not right. Ew. Anyway, what are the shovels for? You don’t use them for globin!
Snawful: They’re our arms.
Piranha Globin: I’d ask about the globin hats… but I honestly can’t think of anything. Why is it when eight of you are beaten, you become a globin chunk of ice to block Midbus’s crown?
Snawful: A failsafe Fawful thought of so Midbus doesn’t forget his place.
Piranha Globin: I see… Are there other elemental globins like you?
Snawful: Fawful hasn’t created any others but I guess he could.
Piranha Globin: Why do you always come in groups of globin?
Snawful: What?
Piranha Globin: Groups of four, I mean. I messed up that globin…
Snawful: It was entirely up to Midbus how many he released.
Piranha Globin: Do you do anything other than globin snowballs at Bowser or the Mario globins?
Snawful: No, that’s about all we’re good for.
Piranha Globin: Well we’re done here then. Calorite!
(A Calorite appears and melts the Snawful.)
(Outside of P.T.’s body, O’ Chunks has just defeated Midbus.)
Midbus: CURSES… NOT… again…
(Midbus freezes up like before.)
P.T.: So this happens every time you lose in that form?
(Midbus is exhaling cold air.)
P.T.: I guess so.
O’Chunks: CHUNKS AWAY!
(O’Chunks rockets out of the area.)
P.T.: … Uh, end transmission?
(Transmission ended.)
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