Gourmet Guy: What’s taking DS Guy so long? He needs to interview Wendy, and the audience is getting impatient.
(The audience is getting ready to light their torches for the riot.)
Gourmet Guy: Where is he?!
(In DS Guy’s meeting room, DS Guy and General Guy are sitting at a long table on opposite ends. Shy Gal is sitting close to DS Guy.)
General Guy: I can’t believe you! You expect me to believe that you got lost in Pipe Land all this time?
DS Guy: Well, that pipe was inconveniently placed too close to the store.
General Guy: I hired you to keep Mario out of the Toy Box. While you were gone, he kept coming in every day wanting to know what time it is.
(Mario walks into the room.)
Mario: General Guy, what time is it?
General Guy: Time for you to leave!
Mario: Thanks!
(Mario runs and crashed through a window.)
Mario (from outside): Hey! Candy!
General Guy: I keep having nightmares as a result!
DS Guy: I’m sorry and everything-
General Guy: Oh, you’ll be sorry when I find a fitting punishment for you.
Back at the Studio…
Gourmet Guy: (to himself) Okay, you can do this. Show everyone what you’re made of. *to the audience* Attention, everyone! Can I please have your attention?
(The audience is ignoring him completely.)
Gourmet Guy: I need help. I can’t do this by myself.
????: Attention everyone!
Gourmet Guy: Huh?
(Wealth E. comes in with a bullhorn and the audience calms down.)
Wealth E: My neighbor, if you want help, then I’ll give it to you. So what are we doing? All of this noise was keeping me from buying out property in Koopa Beach.
Gourmet Guy: We’re going to start an Interview with Wendy.
Wealth E: Then let’s get started. We know her as the only female Koopaling and the ruler of Water Land and Chocolate Island, let’s give a hand to Wendy O. Koopa.
(Wendy walks into the studio.)
Wendy: I’m just glad that someone just as beautiful as me is here for a change, but that Fat Guy is cramping my style.
Gourmet Guy: I may be fat, but I also have feelings.
Wealth E: First question, where do you learn the latest fashion trends from?
Wendy: From Stylin’ Koopa Magazine.
(She holds out a copy featuring a Koopa Troopa in a gold shell covered in diamonds.
Wendy: It contains all the latest fashion trends. I would be lost without it.
Gourmet Guy: Uh, what about your makeup, did you learn it from the magazine?
Wendy: No, I invented my own style.
Bandit: (whispering to Crook) She should have used the magazine. Their styles would have made her less ugly.
(Crook snickers. They both got squashed by a Mad Piano. The audience looks at Wendy, whose face is red with anger.)
Mad Piano: Ouch!
Wendy: Oh relax, you’re invincible.
Bandit and Crook: We wish we were, though.
Meanwhile in E-Guy’s room…
E-Guy: It’s finally finished!
(He holds out a watch.)
Larry: Sweet… What is it?
E-Guy: It’s my Wrist-watch Teleporter 3000. It will be the end of all vehicle use as we know it. With it I can travel to any point on Plit. It takes control of a nearby satellite and beams you up molecule by molecule and-
Larry: BORING! You lost me when after “Wrist-watch Teleporter 3000”! Just tell me how it works in English!
E-Guy: It teleports the user to another area.
(Larry looks at the watch and grins evilly.)
Larry: (This is just what I need.) So, how does it work?
E-Guy: I just press a few buttons like so, and then I press the blue button-
Larry: Give me it!
E-Guy: No, wait!
(But it is too late. A satellite beams Larry and E-Guy up molecule by molecule and then beams them back down to Plit in DS Guy’s house. They reassemble in a hallway with doors on both walls.)
E-Guy (in Larry’s body): We’re all right. Weird, I thought we would be fused together. Consider yourself lucky, Larry!
Larry (in E-Guy’s body): Uh, why do you look like me?
E-Guy: What you do mean?
(E-Guy looks at Larry only to see his own body. E-Guy then looks at his hands to see that they are claws.)
E-Guy: Uh oh.
In DS Guy’s meeting room…
General Guy: Did you hear that?
DS Guy: You’re right. I have a feeling that one of E-Guy’s experiments went horribly wrong. I need to investigate.
General Guy: Not until I punish you!
Shy Gal: And I don’t want you to leave yet!
(They both look at Shy Gal, who slowly hides herself under the table.)
DS Guy: Just deduct my pay.
General Guy: Deal!
(DS Guy and General Guy leave the room, while Shy Gal is sitting back in her seat.)
Shy Gal: *sigh* At least I got to sit next to him.
Back at the Studio…
Wealth E: Can you tell me how many coins you spend on shopping every month?
Wendy: Well, it depends. If there is something I want, I just throw a tantrum until I get the money for it. Depending on the number of things I want and how much it costs, and if 30 days hath September, I say 120 to 678,000 coins a month.
(The audience stands there with confused looks on their faces.)
Wealth E: Well that number is nowhere near my annual salary.
Gourmet Guy: So, do you have a job?
Wendy: Why work when you are the daughter of King Dad and can use your temper to get whatever your heart desires?
Wealth E: You royal folk always get stuff handed to ya, while we have to work to earn it! What about an allowance? You have to have something worth working for?
Wendy: I don’t do chores; I get my siblings to do themr me.
Wealth E: And how?
Wendy: Blackmail.
Gourmet Guy: Which mall do you normally go to?
Wendy: I’ve recently been shopping at Coconut Mall because they opened up a new clothing store. But it’s difficult to shop around because there is always a race going through there. I mean, who would set up a race there?
Wealth E: That was my idea. It was to help tourism and all.
Gourmet Guy: So the rings you shot out of your wand back in Water Land, were they really candy?
Wendy: No, they were really hoops made of a plastic that would be fatal if anyone tried to eat it
Mario is in the audience eating the fake candy ring when he stops midway through Wendy’s answer.
Mario: I started it, so I might as well finish it. *resumes eating*
Luigi: Where did you get that?
(Mario growls.)
Luigi: Sorry, sorry.
Wealth E: There’s something I want to know. Why did you want America for your 16th birthday?
Wendy: For many reasons: First, I wanted to make every ruler in every kingdom on Plit jealous. Second, I wanted to tell everyone what to do, knowing they couldn’t talk back to me. Third, Dark Land was WAAAAYYYY too gloomy for me. Fourth…
Wealth E: (to himself) Me and my big mouth.
(In the hallway, E-Guy and Larry are still in each other’s bodies.)
Larry: Listen, I have a big, and by big I mean bulky, brother who is looking for me so he can pummel me into oblivion. Since I can’t fight Roy, I thought that…
E-Guy: -you can use my watch for an easy escape from him. How selfish!
Larry: But that doesn’t matter, now that you’re me, you can face the music for me.
E-Guy: Or I can Email Roy telling him that he is a moronic fish-face attached with a picture of me, which you are right now, so that way, both of us will be in for a world of hurt.
Larry: Here’s a better idea. We can use the watch together again and switch back to our own bodies.
E-Guy: That’s a great idea. Since the watch is on your wrist, I’ll teach you to-
General Guy: I found you!
(They look to see General Guy with his bazooka and DS Guy in his Pyro Guy form.)
E-Guy: DS Guy, so good to see you.
DS Guy: Larry? Why do you sound like E-Guy?
General: They’re just trying to mess with you. Eat Banzai Bill, intruder!
E-Guy: Sorry to do this to you, sir, but I have no other choice! Shy Shocker!
(E-Guy is just posing with his arms stretched out, but nothing happens. DS Guy is just standing there and General Guy is checking his watch.)
Larry: Let me try! Fireball!
(Nothing happens.)
General Guy: Listen, I don’t know what is going on here, but I need to use my bazooka on somebody because I just bought it yesterday. So I’ll use it on both of you.
(As he is charging, E-Guy shows signs that he is going to sneeze.)
Larry: You okay?
E-Guy: I just need to…uh..uh..uh… ACHOO!
(When E-Guy sneezes, he breathes fire at General Guy and DS Guy. General Guy is covered in smoke but DS Guy is unharmed thanks to his Pyro Guy form.)
Larry: Quick, tell me how to work this thing!
E-Guy: No time, we gotta get out of here!
(E-Guy jumps onto Larry, presses on few buttons on the watch, and they teleport.)
General Guy: They’re gone! I’ll never get to use this!
DS Guy: Now what?
General Guy: I don’t know, I think I’ll catch a movie.
Back at the Studio…
Wendy: …and the last reason is that I would be able enforce a new fashion statement.
Gourmet Guy: I can’t believe that I survived her giving out 142 reasons on why she wanted America.
Wealth E: I can’t believe that you kept track of them. All right, folks. It’s time we ask for questions for Wendy. Pick the first seat, Gourmet Guy.
Gourmet Guy: Seat HIGHWAYROBBERY.
Chet Rippo: Where did you buy your shoes?
Wendy: King Dad got me them for my 13th birthday.
Wealth E: Seat 44.
Cleft: What color is Wendy’s lipstick?
Wendy: I made my own color. It is pink, but I won’t tell you the shade, I don’t want anyone copying off of me.
Gourmet Guy: Seat 125.
Fuzzy: MEORRRK! How did you feel when you kissed Luigi while he was Casanova Koopa in “The Beauty of Kootie”?
Wendy: I felt like I wanted to die. I had nightmares for three weeks after that. *shudder* Do you know what it’s like to kiss… dorkiness? And also, that nose of his is just wrong! He really needs to do something about it!
Mario: Talk about issues, huh Luigi?
Luigi: What’s wrong with my nose?
Wealth E: Seat 6.
Beanie: You like the sea, but in “Fire Sale”, you hated the color blue, how come?
Wendy: It was so cold in that ice cave, and blue symbolized cold. Since I hated the cold, I also hated that color as well.
Wealth E: Seat 83.
Monty Mole: How did you learn to make copies of yourself in Superstar Saga?
Wendy: Lemmy taught me how to do it. He said it was a secret technique and I promised him that I wouldn’t tell anyone.
Gourmet Guy: Last question, seat 23.
Russ T: Do you still like Milli Vanilli?
Wendy: Not anymore, I’m into modern boy bands now. Plus, they didn’t even want to play for me.
Wealth E: Well, that’s all the time we have. I need to go back next door to continue buying property from Koopa Beach.
(Wealth E. leaves the Studio.)
Wendy: But what about my Interview?
Gourmet Guy: It’s pretty much over, I guess.
Wendy: BUT I STILL WANT TO BE INTERVIEWED! I WANNA, I WANNA, I WAN-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
(Wendy fell through a trap door. DS Guy, still in his Pyro Guy form, walks in with his remote.)
DS Guy: Actually, I decide when what is over.
(Meanwhile on Yoshi’s Island, E-Guy and Larry appear after being teleported from DS Guy’s house.)
Larry (back in his body): Where are we? *looks at his hands* Hey, I’m back to normal!
E-Guy (back in his body): Good for you. What is this place anyway?
*rustle rustle*
(Larry and E-Guy turn around to see a Blue Yoshi who has a hungry look on its face.)
Blue Yoshi: Yoshi!
Larry and E-Guy: Uh oh!
END TRANSMISSION!
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