DS Guy: Welcome, everyone. Last time I interviewed Larry Koopa, which ended when Roy threatened to beat him up and ran off into hiding. And now me and E-Guy will…
E-Guy: Actually, I’m going to my room back in the Toy Box to work on something. See ya!
(E-Guy leaves the studio.)
DS Guy: Then who’s going to interview with me? Certainly not Roy, he’s over there waiting for Larry to come out.
Roy: You can’t hide forever, Larry! I can wait all day if I have to.
(The wall opens up, revealing Shy Gal.)
Roy: Banzai!
Shy Guy: Stop!
(Shy Guy drags Roy away.)
Roy: Give my one reason why I shouldn’t pound you into next Thursday.
Shy Guy: (whispering) That’s Shy Gal, General Guy’s daughter. If you attack her, you’ll be VERY sorry.
Roy: Okay then. Hey, Shy Gal. Have you seen Larry anywhere? He has a light blue shell and a blue Mohawk.
Shy Gal: Nope.
Roy: You should have met him when…
Shy Gal: Please refrain from asking questions relating to the tunnel.
DS Guy: Uh, Shy Gal?
Shy Gal: Yes?
DS Guy: Can you interview Morton with me? E-Guy was supposed to do it with me, but he had to do something.
Shy Gal: Here’s my answer, YES I WILL! (I can’t believe he asked me! I’m the luckiest girl on Plit!)
DS Guy: All right, without further ado, our next Koopaling ruled Desert Land and the Donut Plains until Mario stepped in, Morton Koopa, Jr. And my Shy Guy Form of the Day is, Fly Guy.
(DS Guy transforms into a Fly Guy while Morton comes onstage.)
Morton: Hello, hi, salutations, hola, guten tag, konichiwa, aloha…
DS Guy: *pulls out his remote* Don’t make me use this. I’ve wanted to use my “Random Football Team” on someone ever since I got lost in Pipe Land.
Shy Gal: Why did you go there?
DS Guy: I accidently fell into a pipe leading there when I was on my way to the store. How does it feel to have reappeared in the game New Super Mario Bros. Wii?
Morton: Oh, I’m excited. I was giving up hope. I feared that Nintendo might have abandoned us, but I never gave up hope. I knew that one day they would use us again. Now we can-
DS Guy: Can you possibly finish this TODAY?
Morton: But I am giving out a speech.
DS Guy: No one wants to hear your speeches, am I right?
Toad #1: I want to hear-
(A football lands in his lap and he gets tackled by the Chicago Bears.)
DS Guy: *puts away his remote* Can you ask him a question, Shy Gal?
Shy Gal: Anything for you. Morton? What was your most recent accomplishment?
Morton: Well, I just finished my autobiography. Wanna see it?
DS Guy: No thank you. No need to hear it right now.
Morton: No, I insist. BRING HER IN, BOYS!
(After speaking those words, the theme from Space Odyssey: 2000 starts playing. A giant book as tall as the room breaks through the wall. The book is being pushed by several Sumo Bros. It is titled “Life of a Koopaling”, by Morton Koopa Jr.)
DS Guy: I said no, and I can use the “Random Football Team” button more than once. So if I were you, I’d switch to a new topic. Got it?!
Morton: *gulp* Got it.
Meanwhile…
(E-Guy is in the Toy Box on his way to his room.)
E-Guy: I can’t wait to get to work on my invention. This will be the one that will change the-
????: Get away from me!
E-Guy: Huh?
CRASH!
(E-Guy realizes that he crashed into Larry.)
E-Guy: Larry?
Larry: You’ve got to hide me! A crazy Shy Guy in gray is after me.
General Guy (off-screen): Come out, come out, wherever you are. You’ll be sorry that you came into Shy Guy’s Toy Box!
(Several explosions are heard along with Shy Guys screaming in terror.)
E-Guy: No time to ask how you got here, I need to get you to safety. You can hide in my room until things blow over.
Larry: Thanks!
Back at the Studio…
Shy Gal: I noticed that you were one of the larger Koopalings, but in Super Mario Bros. 3 you couldn’t get the ground to shake every time you jumped.
Morton: I was still growing back then. I didn’t gain enough weight years until after Super Mario World. King Dad did say it took me the longest so far to gain that ability, but I got there.
(Roy whispers something to a Bandit.)
Bandit: *snicker* Yeah, it certainly helped.
Morton: What was that?
Bandit: Oh, it was… it was nothing. Carry on.
DS Guy: Well, I just noticed something; you’re now bigger than Roy. Doesn’t that mean that you can overpower him?
Morton: Hey! I may be bigger, but that doesn’t mean that I’m stronger than Roy.
(Morton looks at Roy, who shakes his fist in anger. Morton shudders in fear at the sight.)
DS Guy: You know what, I can’t think of any more questions. That mean it’s time to ask the audience, with my new seating chart and my new way of picking them out.
(He puts a blindfold on and holds out a dart. The audience looks very worried. DS Guy throws the dart and it strikes the dartboard, making the audience look very relieved. Then he takes off his blindfold.)
DS Guy: Seat 67.
Crystal King: You appeared in Superstar Saga, but you didn’t speak at all. How was that possible?
Morton: Nintendo said it was impossible to program all of my words in the game. I mean, really, that’s just insulting for them to-
DS Guy: I can see why! Shy Gal, would you like a turn?
Shy Gal: Sure.
(She throws a dart.)
Shy Gal: Seat 23.
Russ T: How many copies of your autobiography have you sold?
Morton: None, sadly.
DS Guy: Figures.
(He throws another dart.)
DS Guy: Seat 237.
Pider: How did it feel to be a Sneaky Lying Cheating Giant Ninja Koopa?
Morton: I felt that I was king of the world, large and in charge, the head honcho, the one who calls the shots, the one who-
Pider: Thanks, I get the picture.
(Shy Gal throws another dart.)
Shy Gal: Seat MUSICALNOTE.
Toadofsky: How were you able to climb on the walls and ceiling in Super Mario World?
Morton: I had a Magikoopa cast a spell on my feet so I could walk on walls as if my feet had suction cups on them.
(DS Guy throws another dart.)
DS Guy: Seat 509.
Red Ninjakoopa: What’s with the Kiss getup?
Morton: It’s actually a birthmark. I think of it as a wonder, a beauty, a magical-
Roy: Enough! I can’t take it anymore with your never-ending speeches! I am going to thrash you.
DS Guy: I don’t think so.
(He pulls out his remote and presses “Security”. Two Glitz Pit guards walk up to Roy.)
Roy: Is that all you got?!
(The security guards get knocked out of the building. DS Guy then presses the “Thwomp” button, but just as a Thwomp is about to crush Roy, he gives it an uppercut and the Thwomp crumbles to pieces. DS Guy then presses “Random Football Team”. A football lands in Roy’s arms and the St. Louis Rams attempt to tackle him.)
Roy: I’m not afraid of them!
(Roy knocks the St. Louis Rams across the room. Then he charges up the stadium and throws the ball onto the ground.)
Roy: TOUCHDOWN! Now get out of my way!
(Roy picks up DS Guy and throws him across the room. Shy Gal stands up in front of him.)
Shy Gal: How dare you hurt DS Guy?!
Roy: What are you going to do, beat me up? *laugh*
(Shy Gal leaps at Roy.)
Shy Gal: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Roy: Uh oh…
Meanwhile…
(E-Guy is in his room with Larry. E-Guy is working on an invention.)
Larry: What are you working on?
E-Guy (irritated): For the 13th time, it is CLASSIFIED!
Larry: Can I help?
E-Guy: No.
Larry: How about I-
E-Guy: Keep disturbing me and I’ll kick you out of my room and you’ll be exposed to General Guy’s wrath!
Larry: *gulp* I’ll be quiet.
KNOCK! KNOCK!
Larry and E-Guy: *gasp*
General Guy (from outside): Excuse me, Electro Guy, but I am looking for an intruder. Have you seen him?
E-Guy: A Koopaling, with a blue Mohawk, a light blue shell with spikes, and with 2 fangs sticking out?
General Guy (from outside): Yes, that’s the description, Soldier.
E-Guy: Nope, haven’t seen him.
General Guy (from outside): Then maybe I’ll check DS Guy’s house. I recently heard that he’s back.
E-Guy: (to himself) Speaking of whom, I wonder what he is doing right now.
Back at DS Guy’s house…
(Two Security Guards are keeping Shy Gal away from Roy, who is slightly bruised.)
Roy (frightened): Keep her away from me, she’s a MANIAC!
Shy Gal (enraged): LET GO OF ME! I’M NOT DONE WITH HIM YET!
Roy: I’M OUTTA HERE!
(Roy flees and the Security Guards release Shy Gal.)
Shy Guy: I warned him.
DS Guy: Uhhh…What happened?
Shy Gal: Are you okay?
DS Guy: Don’t worry, I’ve been through worse.
(He looks at Morton. He is just standing there with his eyes opened all the way and his jaw dropped.)
DS Guy: Hey, Morton. Are you all right?
(Morton doesn’t respond. DS Guy stands in front of him and waves his arm in front of his eyes.)
DS Guy: He’s scared speechless.
Toad #2: Scared speechless? But that’s impossible! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
(Toad #2 runs out of the studio.)
DS Guy: Since he can’t speak, we have to end the Interview short. Join me next time, when I interview… *checks his list* WENDY! Oh DAD, why did I choose the Super Mario Bros. 3 order?! Can this get any worse?!
(General Guy comes into the room.)
General Guy: DS Guy, I’d like to have a word with you about you going AWOL on me.
DS Guy: *sigh* Just end the transmission.
Whoops! You're not logged in! |