(The stage is dark, as Lemmy is sitting in the studio alone.)
Lemmy: Hello? I thought you said you would interview me, Goomba.
Goomba (who just popped out of nowhere): I did.
Lemmy: ... Where did you come from?
Goomba: I'M the one who asks questions!
Lemmy: Fine, interview me already. But you're not going to get rid of me in a painful way, are you?
Goomba: No, you're my favorite Koopaling.
Lemmy: YESSSS!!!
Goomba: Can I... ask you a question now?
Lemmy: Duh, it's called an Interview for a reason, you know.
Goomba: Fine, my first question is, why in the world did you grow a ponytail?
Lemmy: Ludwig said it would make me look "intimidating".
Ludwig: I can't believe you actually fell for that!
(Lemmy freezes Ludwig.)
Goomba: So... you got tricked into growing a ponytail... by him.
(Goomba points with his nonexistent hands to the ice sculpture of Ludwig.)
Lemmy: Basically, yes.
Goomba: O-kay... Next question, why did you make Kamek enlarge your ball?
Lemmy: I thought it would make it impossible to hit me.
Goomba: Then why did you fire bouncy balls at Mario? Bouncy being the key word.
Lemmy: How was I supposed to know he would bounce on top of them?!
Goomba: Like I said, bouncy is the key word. Anyway, the last question, why did you hide in pipes in Super Mario World?
Lemmy: I was just playing hide and seek. I didn't know that 200-pound lump of fat would put all his weight on me!
Lemmy: It's time for audience questions. Seat 888.
Kamek: Why did you use a different ball in your second battle with Mario?
Lemmy: I thought a ball with more stars would give me better luck.
Goomba: Seat 3.
Rocky the Robot Truck: SHAKE WHAT YER MAMA GAVE YA!!!
Goomba: Guards! Get that worthless piece of plastic out of here!
(A bunch of Sledge Bros. come in and throw Rocky in the dumpster.)
Rocky: *muffled* MAKE NOISE IF YA WANNA DANCE!!!
Goomba: Now that that distraction is away, seat 2.
Koopa Troopa: Why did you just play in the snow and ice in Mario is Missing?
Lemmy: Simple. It was more fun than trying to takeover Earth.
Goomba: Seat 1,000.
Luigi: Why did you own "Lemmy's High-ate Regency Hotel" in Hotel Mario?
Lemmy: It's cold up there in the clouds too...
Goomba: That's all for audience questions. GUARDS!!! Get rid of the interviewee in a nice way!
(The Sledge Bros. seat Lemmy on a throne and carry him all the way back to Lemmy's High-ate Regency Hotel.)
Lemmy: I don't want to go there!
(The Sledge Bros. dump him there and run back to the studio.)
Lemmy: Hey!
Back at the studio...
Goomba: All right, that's it for this Interview. Be sure to tune in next time when we interview a random Boo.
Boo: Yay!
(The camera stops shooting.)
Goomba: All right, let's skidaddle!
Cameraman: Since when are you from Texas?
Goomba: Gah! Just... End transmission!
Whoops! You're not logged in! |