SPIKER KOOPA interviews KOOPATROL
 
By Spiker Koopa

Spiker: Hello, and welcome to-

Earth Crystal: Shake!!!

Spiker: Um, hi?

Lemmy: He is here ‘cause I sentenced him to stay with you! I might tell Fire and Water Crystal to go to Phantos67 and some other guy...

Spiker: So Earthy here will shake when I least expe-

Earth Crystal: Shake!!!

Spiker: Of course...

Blue: Who shall we interview today?

Bonetail: Interview a dead person!

Spiker: That’s up to the magic dice!

(Spiker rolls the dice and it lands on Koopatrol.)

Spiker: Well, I guess-

Earth Crystal: Shake!!!

Spiker: -we will-

Earth Crystal: Shake!!!

Spiker: -interview!

(There is silence.)

Spiker: Koopatrol?

Earth Crystal: Shake!!!

Koopatrol: Um, hi everyone!

Spiker: All right, question one, what games have you appeared in?

Koopatrol: All the Paper Mario games.

Spiker: Okay, question two, how did you get your armor?

Koopatrol: Well, most of us had to be a servant of the Koopalings and served them for one year. After that, they signed a slip saying we can become Koopatrols!

Bonetail: Cool, like a Hammer Bro story!

Koopatrol: Well, our rank in the Paper Mario games is slightly higher.

Blue: Splee! Blueberry muffin?

Koopatrol: I am allergic to-

Blue: YOU MUST DIE!!!

(Blue starts to run after Koopatrol, but Bonetail eats him and puts him in his ribcage.)

Bonetail: You can kill him after the Interview!

Blue: Fine...

Spiker: GETTING BACK ON TOPIC-

Earth Crystal: Shake!!!

Spiker: -_-’ Question three, how come you haven’t appeared in other games?

Koopatrol: Um, I guess we usually chill out in the Paper World. It’s hard work trying to cross the border of non-paper!

Spiker: Hey! That’s like Blue’s story of moving from Yoshi’s Island to Lemmy’s Land!

Blue: Those were dark times...

Bonetail: *gasp* I am holding an illegal im-

Blue: I AM NOT ILLEGAL! I had to pay a lot of money to get into Lemmy’s Land!

Spiker: What are you talking about? It’s free to get in and you don’t even need passports!

Blue: SO THAT SHADY KOOPA WAS REALLY SHADY!!! I’LL KILL HIM IF WE INTERVIEW HIM!!!

Spiker: Question four, what is a Koopatrol’s attack?

Koopatrol: I can call my friends and they can come and help out, and I can go into my shell and spin around a lot and hit Mario.

Spiker: Cool, time for audience questions! SEATIPITYDAFOOL!!!

Mr. T: Why do you wear all that armor on you?! And I pity da fool!!!

Last Goomba: (continuing Mr. T’s line) -who hates Last Goomba!

(Mr. T beats up Last Goomba.)

Koopatrol: ‘Cause we needed the defense and HP boost. Every shell and armor gives a boost, like Bowser’s, who got 99 HP in Paper Mario.

Spiker: I got over 9,000 HP! ‘Cause of my shell and my Youtube sense!

Bonetail: SEAT SPIKYKOOPAFROMOTHERGAMES!!!

Spike Koopa: What is with the spike on your head?

Spiker: Hi Brother!

Koopatrol: -_- Well anyway, it’s ‘cause like Spiky Goombas, who got some protection from Mario’s shoe with their hat, so Bowser gave us a spike on our helmets.

Spiker: SEAT DINOHELPERTOMARIO!!!

Yoshi: Does Koopatrol wear contacts? Yoshi noticed that you guys don’t wear them unlike most Koopas.

Koopatrol: Well, hey, we wear nothing. You have to have good vision when wearing a helmet, which we wear all day, so we don’t wear shades. Anyway, look at Magikoopas and the Hammer Bros, they don’t wear anything.

Spiker: True... Anyway, that’s all the time we have tomorrow! I mean today, I mean last week! We always have time here!

Light blue: Yeah, why do we have time?

Last Goomba: ‘Cause the writer is always right!

Spiker: Yeah, I am always right!

Bonetail: Okay Blue, you can go kill Koopatrol!

(Bonetail lets out Blue and Blue proceeds to beat Koopatrol to a bloody pulp.)

Spiker: Wow, that was mean-

Earth Crystal: Shake!!!

Spiker: Pointy objects!!!

Earth Crystal: Shake!!!

Spiker: Pointy objects!!!

Earth Crystal: Shake!!!

Spiker: Curses! My line does not work!!!

Light Blue: Pointy objects?

Spiker: Yeah, I live up to my name, since I am a general now!

Last Goomba: I thought James said you were a gym teacher?

Spiker: That was a parttime job! Back in SMB3, every Koopa in the Koopa army took a break waiting for SMW and I was bored, so I went and yelled at people!

Blue: Makes sense.

James Issac Koopa: I AM IMPORTANT TO THIS SHOW!!!

(A big hand takes James and throws him into another studio.)

WRITER: OKAY SPIKER, CONTINUE WITH YOUR LINES...

Spiker: Pointy objects!!!

WRITER: ...

Spiker: Um, I hate Wario for killing Spike Koopa?

WRITER: ...

Spiker: Um, my magic dice says to end transmission?

WRITER: GOOD!

(Transmission ended)

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