Fred the Mole: Hello! Welcome to Fred the Mole’s Interv- Wait… Where is everyone?

(Fred the Mole looks out into the audience and sees that it is empty.)

Cameraman: Since you have never done an Interview before, no one thinks you’re good at it.

Fred the Mole: I’ll show them.

(Fred the Mole walks outside.)

Fred the Mole: I’LL GIVE FREE CAKE TO ANYONE WHO COMES TO MY INTERVIEW!!!

(Everyone around tramples Fred the Mole and runs to the Interview room.)

Fred the Mole: Ow. Anyways, welcome to Fred the Mole’s Interviews! I am interviewing this Mega Wiggler, the Giant Wiggler found in New Super Mario Bros. Wii.

(The curtains get pulled away and there is a Mega Wiggler.)

Fred the Mole: So, Mr. Mega Wiggl- Wow. You’re a lot bigger in person

Mega Wiggler: Some people say that.

Fred the Mole: Anyways, why are you so big?

Mega Wiggler: We are just Wigglers that Iggy Koopa accidentally spilled toxic waste on.

Fred the Mole: I see, and what about the gigantic Wiggler that was in New Super Mario Bros. DS? Any relation to him?

Mega Wiggler: Nope. Not one.

Fred the Mole: Ok, just one more question from me. Were you actually trying to kill Mario?

Mega Wiggler: No. Iggy cruelly stuck us into the giant hole in 5-2 and we were just trying to get out.

Fred the Mole: Now for audience questions. Seat ALWAYSINTHESHADOWS.

Luigi: Why don’t you get mad when someone jumps on your head?

Mega Wiggler: Since I’m so big, if someone jumps on me it just feels like a fly landed on my back.

Fred the Mole: Seat WEDDINGCAKE.

Morton: How can you survive the toxic pits?

Mega Wiggler: Beneath the bouncy layer of skin, we have a steel core.

Fred the Mole: Seat ARFARF.

Chain Chomp: Why can’t you be defeated?

Mega Wiggler: Once again, the steel core.

Fred the Mole: And that’s the end of the Interview. See you next time, when I interview someone else.

Audience: WHERE IS THE FREE CAKE?

Fred the Mole: Um, I actually don’t have any cake.

Kamek: *gasp!* THE CAKE IS A LIE!!! GET HIM!

(Everyone pulls out pitchforks and torches and starts chasing Fred the Mole.)

Fred the Mole: Ok, bye everyone! See you all next time!

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