LARRY AND LEMMY interview TEAM BLECK
 
By larry

(Everyone from the last Interview appears in Castle Bleck.)

Count Bleck: Count Bleck has kidnapped you! Announced Count Bleck.

Larry: Uh… Why?

Count Bleck: Count Bleck wants you to interview his team.

Larry: I don’t wanna.

Count Bleck: Please?

Larry: Fine, you talked me into it.

Lemmy: ...

Larry: Lemmy, you help.

Lemmy: Don’t wanna.

Larry: ...

Lemmy: Okay, you talked me into it.

Hooky: Isn’t it lazy to use a gag twice so soon? And why can’t we interview?

Beaky, Twins, and Clubba: Yeah!

Larry: Don’t feel like having you interview. Now then, we’ll interview the least interesting one first. Nastasia!

Nastasia: ... That’s not cool, K?

Larry: ... BLAAH!

(Larry randomly fires a Shoop Da Whoop Laza at the Audience, incinerating half of it.)

Nastasia: ... K?

Larry: Sorry, always happens on Tuesdays.

Nastasia: It’s not Tuesday.

Larry: ... First question: what are you, ya ugly fat guy?

Nastasia: ... I’m a girl, first of all. Second, I’m part of the Tribe of Darkness, just like the Count, K?

Lemmy: Not “K”! Anyway, you mentioned Count Bleck saving you, what happened exactly?

Nastasia: Well, I was beaten and abandoned by the Tribe for stealing the Scroll of Hypnosis. Count Bleck came across me and saved me.

Larry: How’d you get hypnotic powers?

Nastasia: I just, like, told you.

Larry: The question still counts.

Lemmy: No it doesn’t.

Larry: BLAAH!

(He shoots another Laza at Francis, severely hurting him.)

Francis: Not... schweet...

Larry: Fine, so, why did you have to steal the Scroll?

Nastasia: Hypnosis was forbidden in the Tribe. I’m not sure why though.

Lemmy: Audience questions! That ugly fat guy!

King Boo: Hey! Why did that mean me?! Anyway, why do you say “K” and such all the time?

Nastasia: Um, just a habit I guess, K?

Larry: Iggy! Ask something!

Iggy: I don’t wanna!

Larry: ... BLAAH!

(He fires a Laza just above Iggy’s head.)

Iggy: Okay, you talked me into it.

Hooky: Three times...

Iggy: Why do you act all uptight and such?

Nastasia: That’s how I was raised.

Larry: GO AWAY!

(He shoves Nastasia away. O’Chunks walks up to the two Koopalings.)

O’Chunks: ‘Ello thar, yeh wee Kopas!

*I apologize in advanced, not good with accents...

Lemmy: Uh, right. What’s with the way you speak?

O’Chunks: Do ya see a tongue in me mouth? It makes it ‘ard for me ta speak clea’ly.

Larry: (I have no idea what he just said.) So... what are you?

O’Chunks: A chunk!

Lemmy: Which is...?

O’Chunks: Well, mah race be called chunks. Each o’ us ‘as “Chunks” or “Chunk” in our name.

Larry: Weird. So, er, why did you uh... use flatulence to get away?

O’Chunks: I didn’t. I ‘ave a jetpack that shoots green gas and makes a pootin’ noise.

Lemmy: Why didn’t we see this jetpack?

O’Chunks: ... Shut up.

Larry: Why do you suck up to Bleck?

O’Chunks: He’s awesome, that’s why.

Larry: ... We’re skipping audience questions with you.

O’Chunks: Aww...

(He sulks away. Mimi appears.)

Mimi: Mimimimmimimi!

Larry: Stop that!

Mimi: No.

Larry: ...

Mimi: Okay, you-

Hooky: Don’t say it!

Mimi: ... Whatever.

Larry: What are you?

Mimi: A shapeshifter. Just like my mom.

Lemmy: Why do you have a textbox similar to the Shadow Queen?

Mimi: She’s my great-grandmother. On my father’s side.

Larry: So, you’re part Shadow?

Mimi: Yes, but hardy at all.

Lemmy: Why do you love Rupees so much?

Mimi: ‘Cause they’re shiny.

Lemmy: ...

Mimi: DON’T JUDGE ME!

Lemmy: ... Whatever.

Larry: So, does Breadward exist?

Mimi: Yes, he’s a brown Pixl shaped like bread. He has no unique powers though...

Breadward: It’s true! I exist! Whoo!

(He flies in circles, then flies into a wall.)

Lemmy: Ignoring that... Audience time! Kamek!

Kamek: What’s with the gears?

Mimi: Well, uh...

(She throws a Rupee, which kills Kamek, and runs away.)

Larry: ... The audience isn’t doing much today... Dimentio! GET OVER HERE!

Dimentio: I have arrived, like a cold on a rainy day!

Larry: So, what are you exactly?

Dimentio: A being of pure darkness, much like Count Bleck.

Lemmy: Why do you talk like Fawful?

Dimentio: It is a coincidence! *shifts eyes back and forth*

Larry: Is it true you wrote the Dark Prognosticus?

Dimentio: Yes, it is true. I am Nacho- I mean, I wrote the Dark Prognosticus

Nacho Libre: NACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Lemmy: SHUT UP! Why?

Dimentio: If I told you, I’d have to kill you.

Larry: ... So? Tell him!

Lemmy: *glares at Larry* Anyway, if you could kill Mario so easily, why didn’t you do it from the start?

Dimentio: I was sure Fracktail could kill him. If not, then Mr. L. When both proved unable to, I destroyed him myself.

Larry: ... BLAAH!

(His Laza destroys the rest of the audience.)

Dimentio: ...

Larry: My bad. So, what is your idea of a perfect world?

Dimentio: One that is constantly at war! MWAHAHAHAHA!

Butthead: That would be cool. Uh-huh-huh-uh-huh.

Beavis: Yeah! Hmhmhmhm.

Larry: ...

Lemmy: Last one, why do you dress like a jester?

Dimentio: For fun!

(He giggles stupidly and teleports away.)

Lemmy: ... *sigh* Count Bleck, it’s finally your turn.

Count Bleck: Excellent! Exclaimed Count Bleck!

Larry: Why do you talk like you’re narrating?

Count Bleck: Count Bleck sees himself as a separate person since his first personality, Blumiere, died.

Lemmy: What did you look like as Blumiere?

Count Bleck: Pretty much the same as Count Bleck, except his teeth weren’t pointy, he had legs and arms, and his eyes didn’t glow.

Larry: Why don’t you have limbs?

Count Bleck: It was an odd side effect from becoming Count Bleck! Announced Count Bleck.

Lemmy: Why did you have such a small group of powerful minions? If you had more, you could’ve succeeded.

Count Bleck: Count Bleck was confident in himself.

Larry: What’s under that hat?

Count Bleck: ... Baldness.

Larry: AHAHAHAHA!

(Count Bleck shoots a Laza at Larry, hurting him greatly.)

Larry: Pain...

Lemmy: Last one, weren’t you afraid the Void would consume your world?

Count Bleck: No, Castle Bleck was not able to be absorbed by the Void, thanks to Count Bleck using the Chaos Heart to do so.

Larry: Can we go now?

Count Bleck: Not yet, fools! MWAHAHAHAHA!

Larry: ... That’s not your laugh...

Count Bleck: ... End Transmission!

Larry: Hey! I-

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