(The studio is a mess, with holes in the walls and crushed seats.)
Larry: Welcome to…
Lemmy: ...
Larry: I SAID welcome to…
Lemmy: I’m not gonna do it.
Larry: Fine.
Lemmy: Shouldn’t we have stopped Tubba from eating all those Shy Guys? Or stop him from wrecking the studio?
Larry: Nah, that’d ruin all the fun. Anyway, we shall be reviewing Fracktail and Francis!
(Fracktail’s head bursts through a wall in the studio, as he’s too big to fit. Francis walks in normally.)
Francis: Hello, hot babes!
Audience: Booooo!
(The audience throws cans, rocks, and cheese at Francis.)
Francis: This is not schweet!
Larry: Ready to start, Beaky?
Beaky: That’s not my name, it’s-
Larry: Not important! I’ll ask the first question then! Fracktail, why do you have the Wii Shop Channel loading... thing as your eye when you search for data?
Fracktail: Loading answer... Unsuccessful. Trying again... Answer loaded! It turns out it is completely coincidental that Nintendo decided to use that loading logo.
Larry: Lame!
Fracktail: Loading comeback... Comeback loading, 0%, 50%, 100%. Well, you’re ugly.
Larry: ...
Beaky: What do the Frackles come from? They seem to just randomly appear.
Fracktail: Response loading... Response loaded! There are hatches on my body that the Frackles can go out of.
Lemmy: Why do you talk like a computer? It’s very annoying.
Fracktail: Booting answer disc... Disc missing, please insert disc.
(A Frackle inserts a disc into a small slot on Fracktail’s antenna.)
Fracktail: Disc found! The Ancients were not able to add normal speaking functions to their technology at that time.
Larry: Audience questions!! Seat IT’SABOUTTIMEWEAPPEAREDINANOTHERGAME!
Iggy: If the Ancients lived so long ago, how’d they build such a complicated device as yourself?
Fracktail: Loading answer... The world the Ancients lived in had technology due to the Ancients’ high intellect.
Beaky: Last one. Seat RELEASETHEBOGUS!
Super Macho Man: Why do you die like that dragon from Ocarina of Time? RELEASE THE BOGUS!
(Super Macho Man randomly punches a Dark Koopa sitting next to him out the window.)
Fracktail: Loading answer... Answer not found! Missing program ZELDA.EXE! Looking for program... Program not found! 404! Error! I am error! Cheese! Steak! French Fries! ERROR! ERROR! ERROR!!!
(Fracktail flies away, then explodes.)
Everyone: ...?
Larry: Right... It’s your turn, Francis.
Francis: That’s so hi-technicaaaaal!!!
Lemmy: ... Never do that again. First question, how did you afford such a fortress, when you appear to have no job?
Francis: Easy, my family is extremely rich, and I took my inheritance early and built a hi-technicaaaaal fortress!
Audience: Stop saying that!
(The audience throws slot machines at Francis.)
Francis: Stop it! That isn’t schweet!
Larry: What’s with all the cat robots?! It’s really weird!
Francis: I’m just a cat person, that’s all. By the way, any hot babes out there interested in dating-
(Vivian, who is in the audience, uses Fiery Jinx on Francis.)
Francis: GYA! I’ll stop!
Beaky: Good. So, why do you have all those security precautions? Who’d wanna break into your house?
Francis: I’m just paranoid, is all...
Larry: Audience time! Seat I’MSHY!
Shy Guy: Why do you say schweet and hi-technicaaaaal?
Francis: I say them to be cool.
Lemmy: That doesn’t work. Last question, seat IREAD24/7!
Neville: How did you manage to get from that plain where you stole Tippi to your Fort? You don’t seem to be the kind of guy who could get past the Blooper and Tree.
Francis: I know a super secret path that I won’t tell you.
Larry: That’s all for this loser!
Francis: Hey!
Larry: End-
???: Oh no you don’t!
(Count Bleck appears.)
Count Bleck: You all will be coming with me!
(Count Bleck opens a portal that sucks in everyone in the studio.)
... Transmission ended.
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