Lemmy Koopa: Ahem!Ab: … Also known as Lemmy’s Interview Show.
Lemmy: Thank you!
Ab: Okay, today I will be interviewing one of my favorite Koopalings, Iggy Koopa!
(Iggy walks onstage and the crowd gives a big applause for him.)
Iggy Koopa: Thanks for coming, everybody!
Ab: How are you, Iggy?
Iggy: Okay, I guess, just neutral.
Ab: That’s good. Okay! First question! I know lots of people are curious about this, so can you tell me why you have glasses but Lemmy doesn’t? I mean, you pretty much look exactly the same except for that one thing. Why is it?
Iggy: Well, it’s mostly because Lemmy has better eyesight than me. You see, I strained my eyes playing Nintendo, so I had to get glasses.
Ab: Oh, well… All’s well that ends well!
Iggy: Yeah, I guess…
Ab: Next question, what’s your favorite Mario game?
(Iggy I like Super Mario World! Whenever I get to the first boss, who’s me, I always let myself win!)
Ab: But if you always do that, how do you beat the game, then?
Iggy: Huh?! Oh! Reeaallllyy?! No wonder I haven’t beaten the STUPED game yet! Like… isn’t THIS just EMBARRASSING! Ha! Ha!
Ab: …
Iggy: … What?
Lemmy (in audience): Ha! Ha! Ha! So funny!
Ab: Umm, so, yeah… Next question! Who are your first three favorite Koopalings?
Iggy: First three favorites? Well, my first favorite is Lemmy…
Lemmy: Yay! Iggy doesn’t hate me for laughing at him!
Iggy: Wait… That was YOU?!
Ab: Umm, SECOND FAVORITE?!
Iggy: Oh… I’ll deal with you later, Lemmy.
Ab: No violence in my studio until AFTER the show!
Iggy: Whatever, anyway… my second favorite Koopaling would be Ludwig.
Ab: Ludwig?! Why? Doesn’t he beat you up all the time?
Iggy: Well, we have an alliance right now; if I let Ludwig use whatever he wants from my lab, he won’t beat me up as much anymore!
Ab: Really? What’s he making?
Ludwig Von Koopa (in audience): I’ll NEVER tell! WHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! … It’s a racecar.
Iggy: Best brother ever!
Ab: I see… Anyway, third favorite?
Iggy: My third favorite… Morton.
(The audience gasps.)
Ab: I’m not even going to ask.
Iggy: What?
Morton Koopa Jr. (in audience): I feel unloved. *sniff… *
(Morton starts to cry.)
Ab: Would someone get Morton OUT of here?! Security!
(Roy and Nick, who are wearing dark blue vests, run into the studio and throw Morton out the window.)
Morton: Aah! My skull! IT HURTS!
Nick Koopa: When do I get my twenty buck?
Ab: When the Interview’s done.
Nick: ‘Kay.
(Nick takes Morton’s seat.)
Roy Koopa: Hey!
Nick: You want to sit sown, take someone else’s seat!
Roy: Okay FINE! I will!
(Roy goes and throws Mario from his chair and out the window, then sits down in Mario’s seat.)
Mario: Mamamia!
(Mario lands on Morton.)
Ab: Okay! Can we PLEASE continue with the Interview now?!
Nick: Fine by me.
Roy: Whatever!
Ab: Good. Okay, Iggy, next question!
Iggy: Lay it on me!
Ab: Yeah… Next question, this one’s kind of for my own curiosity, but… are you and Lemmy REALLY twins?
Iggy: Yep! I’m the older twin!
Ab: How much older?
Iggy: Fifteen seconds older!
Ab: Poor Clawdia!
Iggy: Why?
Ab: Never mind… Okay! We’re running out of time! So questions from the audience, please! Seat I’MABIGKIDNOW!
Waluigi: Is there anything you’re afraid of?
Iggy: Roy.
Waluigi: I’m afraid of Roy too, he scares me!
Ab: Seat I’MTHEBETTERBROTHERANDMARIOKNOWS
ITYETHEDOESN’TKNOWANYTHINGBECAUSEHE’S
ANIDIOTANDIAMTENTIMESSMARTERTHANHIM!
Luigi: I like my seat!
Iggy: Yes, I do too, but that isn’t a question.
Ab: Yeah! Ask a question, Luigi! NOW!
Luigi: Okay! Okay! Hmm… What do you think of Mario?
Iggy: I don’t like him very much.
Luigi: I totally respect you now!
Ab: Hmm… We have time for one more question from the audience, now. Seat IWILLKILLEVERYONEINMYWAY
ANDMARIOBECAUSEIAMTHEKOOPAKINGANDIRULECOOL!
Bowser Koopa: Shouldn’t you be out trying to kill Mario?
Iggy: Roy and Nick already threw him out the window and into the water, what more do you want us to do?
Bowser: Did he drown?
Iggy: No, but Mario DID land on Morton.
Bowser: Oh… Well, then! Carry on!
Ab: And that’s all the time we have today! Until next time, END TRANSMISSION!
Iggy: You and me, Lemmy, NOW!
Lemmy: Bring it, geek!
Nick: Can we have our twenty bucks now?!
Ab: Ugg… If anyone needs me, I’ll be playing my mind-numbing Nintendo!
Iggy: Did someone say NINTENDO?!
(Lemmy jumps Iggy and they get into a big fight.)
Nick: So… I get my money later?
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