Author’s Note: I would like to dedicate this Interview to…
Lemmy, for creating Lemmy’s Land.
P. T. Piranha for being an amazing author and occasionally confusing me with everything that happens in his FFs.
Cookies, for tasting so good.
Multiple other people for various reasons.
And Satoru Iwata, for creating Nintendo.
(Lemmy is seen opening a door. He leaves the building he was in and goes to the beach on Delfino Plaza. On the beach are Ckday and Yoshi, both relaxing in reclining chairs.)
Lemmy: Guys, Interview time.
Ckday: We’re taking a day off.
Lemmy: You can’t take a day off! Besides, who would interview for you two anyway?
Ckday: You.
Lemmy: I won’t interview for you. It’s your job.
Ckday: Oh really?
(Ckday grows huge and lightning starts shooting in the background. Basically, Ckday is showing so much power it makes the power of the administrator look like a broken wind-up toy.)
Lemmy: meep. Okay, I’ll do it.
(Ckday returns to normal.)
Ckday: Thank you.
Later…
Lemmy: Welcome to Lemm-
(Cue above effects.)
Lemmy: Err… Ckday’s Interview Show!
(The effects stop.)
Lemmy: Today, at the cannon, I’ll interview Pianta.
Pianta (blue): Hi. I’m ready for my Interview.
Lemmy: … First question. Why do you use trees as bats in the Mario Baseball series?
Pianta: Because the trees are powerful and make our hits stronger.
Lemmy: … Keeping with the whole tree thing, next question. How do you get those trees? Do you rip the trees out of the ground with your bare hands or something?
Pianta: Yep, we rip the trees out of the ground. But with a robot.
Robo-Pianta: Affirmative.
Lemmy: … Uh huh… Um, next question. Did Mario try to escape when the cops took him to court in Super Mario Sunshine?
Pianta: Well, he did offer us a kit-kat.
(Cue those cartoon effects that go like “Wah, wah, wah”. The cannon turns around and aims at the Pianta, then fires a pie at magnum force into the Pianta, smashing him through houses and injuring hundreds. The Pianta eventually walks back completely undamaged.)
Lemmy: … Wow. This is getting weird.
(If you think this is weird, try reading Ckday’s FFs-in-progress. There’s one coming soon called Original Paper Mario that is just insane.)
Lemmy: … Ignoring that, time for AUDIENCE QUESTIONS!
(But Original Paper Mario IS really funny. We had a test audience of 3 thousand people and they all laughed at least twice.)
Lemmy: I said, AUDIENCE QUESTIONS! Seat DDD.
King Dedede: How come you can hold trees with one hand, but you were completely helpless in Super Mario Sunshine?
Pianta: … D’ oh! Why didn’t I think of that?
Lemmy: Because you’re stupid. Seat DDDH.
Escargoon (that snail/slug/whatever from the Kirby Anime): Are you large naturally, or do just load up on candy and become fat like King Dedede?
(King Dedede, who is sitting next to Escargoon, smashes Escargoon with his mallet.)
Pianta: You’re sick, and we’re just naturally heavy.
Lemmy: Seat REVENGEONPINK.
Meta Knight: Are Piantas good at building things like, say, flying ships that can destroy a pink puffball who can swallow enemies to steal their powers?
Pianta: Yes.
Meta Knight: Really…?
(Meta Knight enslaves a bunch of Piantas to build a ship. Meta Knight flies to Pop Star to destroy Kirby. For those of you who are wondering, Kirby wins.)
Lemmy: Ok, what’s with all the Kirby characters?
(Lemmy looks behind him and sees an empty cage with an open door labeled “Convenient Kirby Characters”.)
Lemmy: … Meta Knight, ask another question.
Meta Knight: How strong is a Pianta?
Pianta: Strong enough to hold a tree in one hand, but not strong enough to rip trees out of the ground.
Lemmy: Then can you open this can for me?
(The Pianta tries to open the can, but fails miserably.)
Lemmy: … Anyway, last seat. Seat GAMESTHATRIPPEOPLEOFF.
Game Guy: Why was there candy in the water on Goomba’s Booty Boardwalk in Mario Party 8, and why did Piantas keep catching it?
Pianta: Some of the candy from the shops fell into the water, and we kept catching it because that was just our luck.
Lemmy: That’s all the time we have now, so see you next time at *blocked out location* for the final Interview in Delfino Plaza, all on Ckday’s Interview Show!
(The Sledge Bro comes in and trips, sending everybody else except Lemmy into the water.)
Lemmy: … GO, YOSHI! I still don’t get that quote…
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