Kody: Right… That was fun… So where to next?
Amaury: I'm not sure. Maybe back to the castle?
Kody: Sounds fine by me.
(A turquoise lightning bolt hits them.)
Kody: OW! ... That was new.
(They are sent to the Underwhere.)
Amaury: Uhh... Where are we?
Kody: Give me a sec and I'll remember. … YAAAAAH!!!
Amaury: What's up?
Kody: Derrrrr... We're in the Underwhere.
Amaury: Wh-wh-what?!
Kody: I guess we got killed by that lightning bolt... But shouldn't we turn into Boos or something like that? Curse you, Nintendo, for not properly explaining what happens when characters die!
(They travel for a bit, then meet Jaydes.)
Jaydes: Who are you? Speak and be known. I am Jaydes, ruler of all beings with Ended Games!
Kody: Uh, are we dead?
Jaydes: ... Actually, no. Somehow you were sent here while very much alive.
Amaury: Yay!
Kody: Hold on a sec... There are two more boss characters I need to interview, and both are in here. We'll stay for now.
Amaury: WH-WH-WHAT?!
Jaydes: Very well, but if you wish to return to the world above, come to me.
Kody: Sure thing. Come on, Amaury, let's go find the Underchomp.
Jaydes: The Underchomp?! Why in the world would you want to find that vicious beast?
Kody: Because it's next on my interview list.
Jaydes: Well, I can send you there.
(Jaydes sends Kody and Amaury to right in front of Dorguy the Third.)
Kody: Whuh? Why are we here?
Dorguy the Third: Oh no! Travelers have come?
Kody: Oh right, now I know. Where's the Underchomp?
Dorguy the Third: Ooh, the Underchomp, yeah. Hold on, I'll release him.
(Dorguy the Third releases the Underchomp. The Underchomp chases Kody.)
Kody: GAAAAH!!! NOT ON ME, YOU FOOL!!! CALL HIM OFF!!!
Amaury: Uh, Mister...?
Dorguy the Third: Sorry.
(An iron post falls out of the air and somehow tethers the Underchomp.)
Kody: *pant, pant, pant* Whew... Thank DAD for explained events.
Dorguy the Third: So yeah, Queen Jaydes told me you wanted to interview this thing. Not sure why, but hey, you seem to know what you’re doing. Good luck with that.
(Dorguy the Third disappears into his door.)
Underchomps: BARK BARK BARK!!!
Kody: How are we gonna interview these dudes?
Amaury: Don't look at me!
Tutankoopa: Hi.
Kody: Huh? Tutankoopa? What are you doing here?
Tutankoopa: A Chomp Bro killed me for stealing one of his Chomps.
Kody: Lovely. Say, you wouldn't happen to understand these fellows, would you?
Tutankoopa: Why of course, I understand all Chomps.... And let me guess, you want him interviewed.
Kody: Yes.
Tutankoopa: No.
Kody: I'll help you escape from here.
Tutankoopa: Yes!
Kody: Good. Now then. What were you before you “died”, Underchomps?
Red Underchomp: BARK BARK BARK. BARK BARK YOWL. BARK WOOF WOOF. YOWL WOOF.
Tutankoopa: He said "We're differently colored Chomps who got entangled by our chains. We got into a fight and ended up killing each other. So we got sent down here. Since we've been down here, we've learned to tolerate each other. Because of our nice behavior from then on, we've been given the responsibility of helping Dorguy the Third guard the door."
Amaury: Okay, and how did you get chained up like that?
Yellow Underchomp: WOOF WOOF.
Tutankoopa: "I don't know, I was asleep and found out that I'd been chained to the other two."
Red Underchomp: BARK?! WOOF WOOF!
Tutankoopa: Red says "Hey, the same thing happened to me!"
Blue Underchomp: WOOF...
Tutankoopa: Blue says "Me too... I feel sad now..."
Kody: Ah, remorse, it kicks in when you don't want it to. How very painful. Anyway, you say you tolerated each other after you... “died”?
Blue Underchomp: Woof.
Tutankoopa: "Yes."
Kody: How'd that happen? I'd expect you to start fighting with each other again. Chomps are kinda violent by nature, or so I've witnessed.
Red Underchomp: BARK WOOF YAP YAP.
Blue Underchomp: WOOF? YAP!
Yellow Underchomp: BARK!
Tutankoopa: Red says "Well it did occur to me that we were in a graver situation than we thought, so I decided to talk to the others." Blue says "What? Same here!" and Yellow says "Me too!"
Red Underchomp: WOOF YAP BARK BARK BARK.
Tutankoopa: "Well we were all kinda scared, even for Chomps. So we decided to stick together. After that, Jaydes kinda saw the good in us and sent us to help Dorguy the Third."
Blue Underchomp: WOOF BARK!
Tutankoopa: "We might even go to the Overthere soon!"
Amaury: Why do you attack in RPG mode?
Yellow Underchomp: YOWL YAP. BARK WOOF.
Tutankoopa: "Dorguy the Third does that. He wants to know if the opponent can tolerate a roleplaying game environment."
Kody: But wouldn't you defeat opponents easier in a regular battle?
Blue Underchomp: WOOF BARF WOOF YAP.
Tutankoopa: "We would, but that's not the point. The point is to test opponents' endurance."
Kody: That's a weak tactic, I'm sorry, but it just is.
Amaury: Aren't Chomps supposed to be completely round? You're not.
Red Underchomp: YAP YAP YAP YAP.
Tutankoopa: "We're each a different kind of Chomp. We have flat sides."
Kody: Then I'd be right to say you can't right yourselves from your sides?
Blue Underchomp: YOWL. BARK WOOF WOOF!!!
Tutankoopa: Uhh... meh. "Yes. THINKING OF TRYING SOMETHING?!"
Kody: Why yes. But I won't tell you what.
Amaury: Why do you have such stinky breath? Ew!
Yellow Underchomp: WOOF!!! BARK YAP!
Tutankoopa: "HEY! That's our natural breath, all Chomps have it!"
Amaury: ... Double ew.
Kody: Echoed tenfold. Yeah... uh... You guys can gather energy, huh?
Red Underchomp: WOOF YAP YOWL.
Tutankoopa: "We can store energy, yes, and unleash it a turn later."
Kody: And how much damage does it do?
Blue Underchomp: WOOF YAP BARK YAP.
Tutankoopa: "A set amount of damage, or greater if the damage we take is more than that set amount."
Amaury: What is it?
Yellow Underchomp: WOOF... YAP.
Tutankoopa: "I forgot... More than five though."
Amaury: ... Don't you bite the opponent?
Red Underchomp: WOOF! BARK YOWL.
Tutankoopa: "No! Jaydes forbid us to do that. Although we would like to."
Kody: Then why'd you chase me?!
Blue Underchomp: WOOF! Bark.
Tutankoopa: "Because it looked fun. Haha."
Kody: Grr... Wish I could pay you back for that... Whatever. How come your chains weren't in view during the battle?
Yellow Underchomp: WOOF...
Tutankoopa: "Graphical error..."
Kody: Somehow, I quite believe that.
Amaury: What do you do when you're not helping guard this door?
Red Underchomp: WOOF BARK!
Tutankoopa: "We get sleep, and lots of it. We need to be extra alert for intruders."
Kody: Wouldn't lots of sleep just make you more tired? Too much of a good thing, you know...
Blue Underchomp: YAP...
(Blue Underchomp passes out.)
Tutankoopa: Uh... He said "Good point..." then dropped off...
Red Underchomp: WOOF!
Blue Underchomp: SHRIEK! Woof...
Kody: Yeah, wake up, will ya?
Tutankoopa: Huh? How'd you understand them?
Kody: Through actions.
Tutankoopa: Then why am I here?
Kody: Because I'm helping you get out of here after?
Tutankoopa: Ah, righty-o then.
Skellobit: DEM BONES.
Kody: Shut it! So, Underchomps, how do you tolerate the atmosphere down here? It must be horrible.
Yellow Underchomp: BARK WOOF YOWL.
Tutankoopa: "You get used to it after a while. It's not so bad, but like I said, it takes getting used to. It comes in stages. First comes denial."
Skellobit: I'm not dead, I'M NOT DEAD!
Kody: SHUT UP!
Yellow Underchomp: YAP.
Tutankoopa: "Then comes anger."
Skellobit: Don't tell me to shut up, you big-eared numbskull! I'm dead!
Kody: ...
(Kody slowly walks over to the Skellobit.)
Yellow Underchomp: WOOF.
Tutankoopa: "Then fear."
Skellobit: U-uh... I didn't mean it...
Kody: Too late.
(Kody snaps the Skellobit's spear in half.)
Yellow Underchomp: YOWL.
Tutankoopa: "Then bargaining."
Skellobit: (getting pounded) GEH! YOU, BUZZY BEETLE THING, GET ME OUTTA THIS! I'LL MAKE IT WORTH YOUR WHILE!
Amaury: No.
Yellow Underchomp: BARK.
Tutankoopa: "And finally, acceptance."
(The remains of the remains of the Skellobit drop to the floor.)
Kody: Well, they all have to go sometime.
Amaury: Mr. Boomboxer, your progress is amazing.
Kody: Huzzah, Mr. Buzzy Beetle. Now, what were you saying about stages?
Yellow Underchomp: ...
Tutankoopa: I am not repeating myself.
Kody: Fine, be like that.
Spiky Skellobit: DEM BONES!
Kody: *twitch*
Amaury: Does fire work on you?
Red Underchomp: BARK. YAP.
Tutankoopa: "Not at all. Pretty much all Chomps are immune to fire."
Kody: That's the brightly shining trait of the Chomp, it seems.
Blue Underchomp: YAP YOWL YAP.
Tutankoopa: "Actually no, our biggest trait is our chains. They can come in handy at special times. Buzzy Beetles and Clefts would have that trait of being immune to fire."
Amaury: Ooh, we would, actually...
Kody: Right, then, I think it's time for a break so we can gather audience members for our next round of questions.
Tutankoopa: You hold breaks now?
Kody: Yes. But not for you. If you want out of here, you’ll have to do more than just translate Chomp language. Find me that audience, please.
Tutankoopa: Ersh…
(Tutankoopa leaves.)
----
Lord Crump: Hi?
Lord Crump: Hi.
Lord Crump: … Why do you look like me?
Lord Crump: Pancakes?
Lord Crump: Gah! Pancakes! I hate pancakes!
Lord Crump: What?! If you don’t like pancakes I will kill you!
Lord Crump: … Fawful, is that you…?
Fawful: Eyah! You are in the findingness of me!
Lord Crump: So you were behind the pancake business, making me look like an idiot! PREPARE TO BE CRUMPED!
(Lord Crump goes to bodyslam Fawful but misses as Fawful flies into the air.)
Fawful: Eyahahahaha! Finkrat! You are nearing the nowhere of the catchingness of me! Eyahahahaha!
Lord Crump: This’ll end up being messy…
----
Tutankoopa: It wasn’t easy, but I rounded up some stray characters here.
Kody: Good- Oh, that means we can continue. Dry Bones, ask a question.
Dry Bones: To whom?
Kody: … To the Underchomp.
Dry Bones: Oh. Uh… Why can you open your mouths wider than other Chomps?
Blue Underchomp: BARK.
Tutankoopa: “It’s how we were conceived.”
Dry Bones: Interessssssssting…
Amaury: That sounded creepy. Lava Bubble, ask a question please.
Lava Bubble: Why did you look like ordinary Chomps in RPG mode, anyway? You certainly don’t look like ordinary Chomps.
Red Underchomp: BARK WOOF YOWL. WOOF BARK.
Tutankoopa: “Nintendo is cheap, they wouldn’t revert back to the RPG system with the previous two PM games. I guess that also explains why our chains were missing…”
Kody: Frost Piranha, ask.
Frost Piranha: Do your colors signify that you all have elemental abilities?
Yellow Underchomp: BARK.
Tutankoopa: “No.”
Amaury: Spiky Skellobit, ask.
Spiky Skellobit: DEM BONES.
Kody: …
Spiky Skellobit: Sorry, can’t get that tune out of my head. Anyway, why do you sometimes miss the opponent when attacking? I thought you can’t dodge stuff in RPG battles…
Red Underchomp: WOOF BARK, YAP YAP WOOF BARK.
Tutankoopa: “We have set accuracy values for our attacks, so yes, our attacks sometimes miss. And vice-versa.”
Kody: You, Skellobomber, ask.
Skellobomber: What’s your stand-up comedy act, again?
(The Underchomps make a stack: Red on the bottom, Blue in the middle, Yellow on top. Then they extend their chains off of one another, yet surprisingly maintain the Chomp stack.)
Skellobomber: Ooooh…
Red Underchomp: BARK WOOF ARF.
Tutankoopa: “Told you our chains are handy.”
Amaury: You, Underhand, please ask a question.
Underhand: …
Amaury: Sorry? Didn’t catch that.
Underhand: …
Kody: ARE YOU DEAF?! ASK A QUESTION!!!
Underhand: …
Tutankoopa: I don’t think it can.
Blue Underchomp: ARF ARF YOWL YAP BARK. YOWL YAP BARK WOOF.
Tutankoopa: Oh. “All the Dorguys control us, but we help Dorguy the Third the most because the other two Dorguys prefer to see if the challenger is smart enough to answer their tricky questions. Also, that Underhand asked the question in our minds. It was “All three Dorguys use you to help guard the passages, according to your Catch Card, but why do we only see Dorguy the Third use you?’”
Kody: Huh?
Underhand: (I use telepathy to provide my messages. Only the recipient can hear my messages.)
Kody: Oh. I got it that time. Okay… Last one. Dark Boo, ask please.
Dark Boo: Blee hee hee hee… What are you made of?
Yellow Underchomp: WOOF! BARK YAP.
Tutankoopa: “Stone! What did you think we were made of?”
Dark Boo: I’d prefer not to disclose that information, thank you.
Kody: Hurray, interview over. Now to find Bonechill.
Tutankoopa: Two things. One, you said you would help me escape. Two, WHAT?!
Kody: I need to interview Bonechill, he’s next on my list!
Amaury: You have a frightening list.
Kody: Really. Well, since I can’t renege on my promise to Tutankoopa, I’ll just have to take him with me.
Tutankoopa: … Yay?
Kody: Cut the sarcasm or I WILL leave you here.
Tutankoopa: …
(The Underchomp gets free and starts chasing Tutankoopa.)
Tutankoopa: WAAH! What’re you- OW! HELP!
(It chases Tutankoopa off a cliff.)
Dorguy the Third: Thar she blows! I mean, uh, there they go. Again.
Kody: Come on, let’s just get away from this insanity.
Amaury: That’s a good idea.
Kody: Although I can’t help but wonder what the crew is up to right now…
----
Kamcle: This is a pointless endscene.
Mimi: Yeah.
Rawk Hawk: FEEL THE RAWK!
Kamcle: Augh…
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