(1-up Boo, Vim, Kingfin, and Void are still soaring through the sky…)
1-up Boo: Got any sevens?
Void: Go fish.
Vim: Where did you guys get those cards?
Kingfin: Me have them in stomach.
Vim: How can you play cards when we’re soaring through the sky?!
1-up Boo: I have no idea.
Void: Got any twos?
1-up Boo: Go fish.
Vim: …
Kingfin: Got any twelves?
(1-up Boo gives half his cards, all of them twelves, to Kingfin.)
Kingfin: Yay.
Void: Got any Koopas juggling Bob-ombs?
1-up Boo: Nope. Go fish.
Vim: I will never understand you guys.
Kingfin: Me see land!
(Everyone looks down and they see they are heading towards land.)
1-up Boo: We’d better finish this game before we hit the ground.
Kingfin: Where deck go?
1-up Boo: Great, it flew away.
Vim: Maybe you should have thought of that earlier.
1-up Boo: That’s your job.
Vim: How?
1-up Boo: I don’t know.
Vim: … I hate you.
1-up Boo: Yes. I know.
Void: We’re almost at the ground.
Kingfin: Desert!
1-up Boo: Huh?
Kingfin: Desert!
1-up Boo: Oh, looks like we’re going to land in a desert.
Vim: Why me?
(CRASH!)
1-up Boo: …
Kingfin: …
Vim: …
Void: …
Vim: Pain.
(They all get their heads out of the sand.)
Kingfin: Me got sand in ribcage.
(Yes, they are in the middle of a desert.)
Vim: WE’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A DESERT!
(See?)
1-up Boo: At least you have us!
Vim: … I’D RATHER BE SNATCHED BY A CONDOR!!!
(At that, a condor swoops down and takes Vim away.)
1-up Boo: …
Kingfin: …
Void: …
1-up Boo: For once, I don’t have anything to say.
Kingfin: Me miss Vim.
Void: He’s only been gone for 30 seconds if even that.
Kingfin: ME MISS VIM!
1-up Boo: Well… let’s explore.
(They begin to explore…)
1-up Boo: … BONES!
Void: What?
(1-up Boo floats over to a pile of bones.)
1-up Boo: This one has a grasshopper on it.
(The grasshopper hops away.)
1-up Boo: Aww…
Kingfin: Bones. Me like bones.
(1-up Boo starts poking the bones.)
1-up Boo: Let me do an ancient ritual.
(1-up Boo gets some sand and puts it on the bones, then pokes them again.)
Bones: Huh?
1-up Boo: AGH!
Void: It’s just a Dry Bones.
1-up Boo: My ritual worked!
Dry Bones: I was just sleeping.
1-up Boo: Or were you?!
Dry Bones: Yes.
1-up Boo: Oh…
Dry Bones: So, what brings you to Teehee Valley?
1-up Boo: Teehee Valley? Interesting.
Void: Hi there, do you know the way out of this desert?
Dry Bones: Nope.
Void: That figures.
Kingfin: What your name?
Dry Bones: I don’t have one.
Void: Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
1-up Boo: Is it to interview him until we know how to get out of here and find Vim?
Void: … Yes.
1-up Boo: Sweet.
Dry Bones: Pardon?
Void: Mind if we interview you?
Dry Bones: Well, I don’t have anything else to do in the middle of a desert. Sure.
1-up Boo: ... I’ll go to search for Vim.
Void: YOU want to search for him?
1-up Boo: YES! I mean… Kingfin hasn’t done an Interview yet so… I’ll go search for him while you stay with Kingfin.
Void: Well, okay.
(1-up Boo floats away in search of Vim.)
Void: Interesting…
Kingfin: Me get to do my first Interview!
Void: Yep.
Kingfin: Why are all Dry Bones in Teehee Valley different in structure compared to other Dry Bones?
Dry Bones: Well, I’m not exactly sure. I think we’re just a different species of Dry Bones or something.
Void: Or you died from something different.
Dry Bones: Or that.
Kingfin: Do you remember your life as a Koopa?
Dry Bones: All I remember is being killed by wild, crazy Goombas.
Kingfin: But being bones be good!
Dry Bones: If you say so.
Kingfin: How you throw things with no muscles anymore?
Dry Bones: I don’t know, magic?
Kingfin: Cool.
Void: I wonder how 1-up Boo is doing…
Meanwhile...
(1-up Boo is climbing a mountain.)
1-up Boo: Why does the Mountain Peak… have to be at the top?!
(Two vultures on a ledge shake their heads.)
1-up Boo: Wait, I can float.
(1-up Boo begins to float to the top.)
Back...
Kingfin: What makes Red Bones more powerful than Dry Bones and Dull Bones?
Dry Bones: It’s NOT that they were killed by a strong guy. There’s strange red goo in Hooktail’s castle sewers, which some of the Dull Bones must have stepped in accidentally to make them a Red Bones.
Kingfin: How did that make them more powerful, and what about Red Bones not in Hooktail’s castle?
Dry Bones: Well, I don’t know how it made them more powerful. After all, I’ve never seen the goo before. For your second question, some Dry Bones that got in the red stuff in the sewers of Hooktail’s castle must have begun to spread it outside the castle. I presume that the red goo only affects Dry or other kinds of Bones.
Kingfin: Can you explain Dark Bones?
Dry Bones: Umm… The Shadow Queen probably used dark magic on bones to make Dark Bones.
Kingfin: Me go get audience now…
(Kingfin goes away…)
Void: …
Dry Bones: …
Void: So… how’s life in a desert?
Dry Bones: Pretty boring…
Void: I see…
Dry Bones: How did you end up here anyway?
Void: Long story…
(Meanwhile…)
1-up Boo: *gasp* I can *pant* make it to the top!
Paragoomba: Dude, you’re floating.
1-up Boo: It’s the heat!
Paragoomba: It’s nearly dark.
1-up Boo: It’s still hot.
(1-up Boo reaches the top of the mountain’s peak and sees Vim.)
Vim: Huh?
1-up Boo: I’ve come to rescue you!
Vim: YOU came to rescue me?
1-up Boo: Yes, now let’s go before the-
(The condor that took Vim comes down.)
1-up Boo: … Condor comes back.
Back with Kingfin...
Kingfin: Me find audience in desert.
Void: Can I call the seats?
Kingfin: Sure.
Void: Seat… Wait, there are no seats.
Kingfin: Then just call a species.
Void: Paragoomba.
Paragoomba: Why is it that there’s no Parabones? Why don’t the Paratroopas that die become Parabones?
Dry Bones: Because the wings always get destroyed or fall off before you kill a Koopa, remember?
Paragoomba: Oh yeah.
Void: Magikoopa.
Magikoopa: Where do you guys get the constant bones you throw?
Dry Bones: Ourselves. When we start to run out of bones that aren’t necessary, we get bones that lie around… We like to have bones lying around.
Void: Sand monster.
Sand Monster: Does it get boring lying down as a pile of bones day after day doing nothing?
Dry Bones: Yes, yes it does.
Sand Monster: Why don’t you-
Dry Bones: We don’t think much so we don’t do much!
Sand Monster: But you seem pretty smart.
Dry Bones: Well, lucky me.
Void: Goomba.
Goomba: Umm… I got nothing.
Void: … Bandit.
Bandit: Why is your main attack in many games to just run into people?
Dry Bones: Most of us are killed by stupid people or we become stupid… But not all Dry Bones are dumb, you know.
Kingfin: Finish!
Void: I wonder how-
???: Hi!
(Void turns his head around and sees the condor carrying 1-up Boo and Vim.)
Condor: Sorry, good sirs, the whippersnapper Shy Guy here said he’d rather be snatched by a fellow condor. So I came and swooped him away. I did not mean to cause trouble.
Void: … Okay.
Kingfin: Boss and Vim alive!
Vim: Yeah.
1-up Boo: So… Any way to get out of this desert?
Condor: I can carry you.
1-up Boo: Any fast way?
???: Perfect! You guys will do!
(E. Gadd is approaching them.)
1-up Boo: What’s with the old man?
Gadd: Just STAY there.
(Gadd pulls out a little button 2 ˝ centimeters long and presses it. KABOOM!!!)
Gadd: It works!
(1-up Boo, Vim, Kingfin, and Void go flying off.)
Vim: There was a time bomb beneath us?
Kingfin: Old man must have put it in that spot awhile ago.
Void: Well, hopefully we won’t land in a desert this time.
1-up Boo: Well, you do the honors, Vim.
Vim: Fine, End Transmission.
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