Mr. Wick: You’ve waited long enough, fair citizens of Plit! I come back to you live from The Golden Pyramid! Today, on The Wonderful World of Wick, I have with me a special guest: The Cuckoo Condor!
(CooCoo Condor flies in, laughing in a Woody Woodpecker-styled fashion.)
Mr. Wick: My, you looking awfully dressed for the occasion! Describe to me your wardrobe.
Cuckoo Condor: This isn’t a wardrobe. It’s my house! HAHAHA-HUHU!
Mr. Wick: Uh... yeah. It’s not everyday a “House” floats in midair.
Cuckoo Condor: Well, other than the fact I’m a bird, I also have a jetpack strapped to my house so it’s less weight for me to carry.
Mr. Wick: Somewhat intriguing. How many games have you been in?
Cuckoo Condor: Only one: Wario Land 4. They wouldn’t let me be in any more games because they said I was nuts! Nuts?! ME?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HUHUHU-HOHOHO-HEHEHEHE-HA!
Mr. Wick: ... You’re a wackjob, y’know that?
(Cuckoo Condor, not even remotely listening, continues to laugh like a deranged lunatic)
Mr. Wick: ... Ok, this is becoming a bit uncomfortable... Maybe we should go with questions from the audience. Seat STOMPINTIME!
Big Blag (BattleToads): Hey Crazy! What’s with the saw on your arm?
Cuckoo Condor: That was a Christmas present from my step-father, Nutzo Vulture! I thought it was a pretty snowflake. Then I cut out all my teeth.
Mr. Wick: That explains your toothless smile. Seat LETYOURTHUMBBETHEJUDGE!
Roger Ebert: What part of the pyramid did you protect?
Cuckoo Condor: I guarded the Ruby Passage. That way, I could be near the Pinball Zone and play pinball 24 hours a day.
Mr. Wick: And finally, seat SQUADALAAAA!
Gwonam the Wizard: It is written, only I can defeat Cuckoo Condor! *flies from his seat* SQUADALAAAAA! I’M OFF!
(Gwonam flies over to Morshu’s Store.)
Morshu the Shopkeeper: Bombs?! You want it? It’s yours, my friend, as long as you have enough rupees!
Gwonam: There is no time.
(He takes a bomb and flies away.)
Morshu: ****, my friend.
(Gwonam comes back.)
Gwonam: (to Cuckoo Condor) You are evil. You must die.
(Gwonam drops the bomb in Cuckoo Condor’s mouth. He explodes into a million pieces.)
Mr. Wick: ... Ok, whose bright idea was it to invite a Youtube Poop character into the studio?!
Studio Cue Card-Holding Goomba: Uh... Me?
Mr. Wick: Well, I have bad news for you. Your little invitation cost me this entire Interview, AND NOW, THANKS TO YOU, THE RATINGS ARE GOING TO DROP! YOU’RE FIRED! S.C.C.H Goomba: *sniff* I HATE YOU! (He runs away crying.) Mr. Wick: Well, that’s all the time we have for The Wonderful World of Wick. Remember, if you’re a TV critic, just remember I’m charming and British. END TRANSMISSION! Whoops! You're not logged in!
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