TANK: Wow! It’s been a while since I’ve interviewed, eh?
Wario: What are you, Canadian?
TANK: Yes in fact!
(TANK blows up Wario with his grenade launcher.)
TANK: So today I will interview Magikoopa.
Waluigi: WAAAAHHHHH! I’m scared of magic!
(Waluigi crashes through the door, leaving a hole in it.)
TANK: Where is the Magikoopa?
(A Magikoopa floats through the door Waluigi crashed through.)
Magikoopa: SPIEL!
TANK: Shut up, you!
Magikoopa: Okay.
TANK: First question, why do you have magic powers?
Magikoopa: Our star rod.
TANK: Where do you get the star rod?
Magikoopa: EBAY!
TANK: Seriously?
Magikoopa: NAH, we are just born with them.
TANK: That’s weird.
(Lemmy walks out from the hallway.)
Lemmy: Welcome to Lemmy’s Interview Show!
TANK: Two things. One, you’re a little late for that; and two, I thought I killed you.
Lemmy: You are right.
(Lemmy walks back in the hallway and begins hitting himself with a hammer.)
TANK: Next question, are you taught how to use magic?
Magikoopa: Yes. We go to magic school.
Waluigi (from outside): WAAAAAHHHHHHHH! I’m scared of magic school!
(Waluigi runs through the door he crashed through earlier, and crashes through another door conveniently placed next to the first.)
Audience: That’s strange.
Strange: No, I’m strange.
(Strange begins to dissolve.)
TANK: What in the? Who did that?
Magikoopa: Hee hee hee
TANK: I’m beginning to like the way you think. Now, next question, why do you work for Bowser?
Magikoopa: Because all the other Koopas work for Bowser so we thought ‘Hhey, why not?’’
TANK: Because he is a cheapskate.
Bowser: Am not!
TANK: Are too!
Bowser: Am not
TANK: Are too!
Three hours later...
Bowser: Am not
TANK: Are too!
Magikoopa: Silence!
(Bowser begins to dissolve.)
Bowser: Why meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?!
TANK: Because I’m interviewing! Next question, why were there Magikoopas in the Glitz Pit?
Magikoopa: They were refugees. But they are no more.
(Magikoopa has a flashback of those three Magikoopas being forced to play ‘’Where’s Mario’’, with the three yelling ‘’IT’S TOO EDUCATIONAL!’’)
Magikoopa: Heh heh heh.
TANK: Are you guys technically Koopas?
Magikoopa: Yes, the only reason we look different is because before we hatch, the star rod presses up on our face so our beaks are pressed down and we are born with bad vision.
TANK: Let’s go to audience questions. Seat 60?
Goomba: Are you thinking Arbys?
(The police burst through the ceiling.)
Police: That’s copyright infringement! You’re going to be doing a lot of time, bub! Let’s cuff him.
Goomba: Ha! I have no arms! MUA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA H- *COUGH COUGH HACK COUGH* Stupid bug! Being eatin’ will show him!
Police: That’s murder and animal cruelty! Now you’ll get a fine! MUA HA HA HA HA HA!
TANK: Okay. Seat 54?
Monty Mole: What’s your favorite hockey team, TANK?
TANK: The Toronto Maple Leafs. Yours?
Monty Mole: The Montreal Canadians.
(TANK lies on the ground in the fetal position crying.)
Lemmy: I guess I will takeover!
(He runs in from the hallway.)
Lemmy: Seat 76?
Toad: Can you demonstrate your powers on Luigi over here?
Luigi: What- Oh no no no no no!
(While magikoopa is about to cast a spell, Luigi crashes out another conveniently placed door.)
Magikoopa: OH NO YOU DON’T!
(Luigi appears back in the same seat.)
Luigi: AHHHHHHH! TELEPORTATION!
(Luigi tries to run out again but is chained to his seat by the Magikoopa.)
Luigi: Please no! Please no!
(Luigi’s face gets turned upside down.)
Luigi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(TANK wakes up.)
TANK: HAHA. You’re a freak!
Luigi: Ok, now let me go!
(Luigi’s chains disappear and he runs out another conveniently placed door.)
Lemmy: Well I guess this is it so END TRANSMISSION!
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