Booker T: FIVE TIME FIVE TIME FIVE TIME FIVE TIME FIVE TIME WCW champion!
Dark Koopa: Five time.
Booker T: FIVE TIME FIVE TIME FIVE TIME FIVE TIME FIVE TIM-
Dark Koopa: Thrilling. Today I interview Eerie, who may be eerie.
Swooper: Not as eerie as me!
Dark Koopa: Right. So Eerie, what are you?
Eerie: The ghost of one of the dinos from Dinosaur Land.
Swooper: Straight to the Interview? Strange.
Dark Koopa: I take your reality and replace it with my own.
Swooper: Okay.
Dark Koopa: How come you don't appear very often in the Marioverse?
Eerie: We are even less common than the dinos, and since they don't appear often, neither do we, you twit.
Dark Koopa: Hey, you said something not nice to me. Why is that?
Eerie: If you were dead, you'd be quite irritated, wouldn't you?
Dark Koopa: Dunno. I'm not dead.
Swooper: You've died many times though.
Dark Koopa: Eh.
Booker T: FIVE TIME FIVE TIME FIV-
Swooper: Am I taking Thumbs's role?
Dark Koopa: I dunno. Do you enjoy doing practically nothing for practically nothing?
Booker T: -E TIME WCW Champion!
Dark Koopa: Don't you have somewhere to be?
Booker T: Tell me you didn't just say that.
Dark Koopa: Never mind.
Swooper: As long as I get hugs.
Dark Koopa: Hug away.
(Swooper hugs Pura.)
Pura: ...
Dark Koopa: Not her though.
Booker T: I did NOT just see that.
Dark Koopa: Five time.
Booker T: FIVE TIME FIVE-
(Pura chases Swooper out of the studio.)
Dark Koopa: Audience time!
Eerie: You barely asked me a thing.
Dark Koopa: Silence!
Eerie: Hmph.
Dark Koopa: Seat 1.
Booker T: FIVE TIME FIVE TIME FIV-
Dark Koopa: Not sure why I called that seat. Seat 2.
Koffing: Koffing!
Dark Koopa: ... Let's forget audience questions for now.
Eerie: Thank you.
Dark Koopa: But I'll keep ignoring you.
Koffing: Koffing Koffing Koffing Koffing Koffing!
Dark Koopa: Hm. It said it five tim-
Booker T: FIVE TIME FIVE TIME FIVE TIME FIVE TIM-
Dark Koopa: ... So Eerie, what attacks do you have?
Eerie: Attacks? Please. I have no needs for petty things such as violence.
Dark Koopa: But you hurt Mario. Not that I'm complaining.
Mario: Milk duds. Two giant milk duds.
Eerie: I will shove him aside if he gets in my way, but I'm not actively trying to attack him. I am simply wandering around, trying to enjoy the afterlife for what it's worth, which sadly is not much.
Dark Koopa: Oh. So you don't work for Bowser?
Eerie: No. We are dead. There is nothing he can do if we refuse to do anything for him.
(Bowser proceeds to breathe fire on Eerie.)
Bowser: I rule.
Mario: Hi.
Bowser: Eep!
Eerie: I believe I am on fire.
Dark Koopa: You are.
Eerie: Put it out, please.
(Gloomtail drops a bucket of water on Eerie for the sole reason of appearing in this Interview.)
Gloomtail: God demands more screen time!
Eerie: Now I am even more miserable.
Dark Koopa: I wasn't aware that was possible.
Eerie: Shut it.
Dark Koopa: But questiooooons.
Eerie: Out with it.
Dark Koopa: How do you get along with the Boos?
Eerie: Fine enough. I find their pranks childish, and they find me to be a snob, so for the most part we just avoid each other.
Dark Koopa: Well, that's all I got.
Eerie: Good.
(Eerie tries to vanish, but instead spontaneously combusts.)
Eerie: It appears I have burst into flames.
Dark Koopa: Can you feel stuff like fire when you're dead?
Eerie: Yes.
Dark Koopa: Then why aren't you screaming in pain?
Eerie: A waste of time, quite frankly.
(Eerie floats away, still on fire.)
Dark Koopa: Huh.
Booker T: FIVE TIME FIVE TIME FIVE TIME FIVE TIME FIVE TIME-
Dark Koopa: I have an idea. Let's leave.
(And so everyone does. Except Booker T.)
Booker T: WCW CHAMPION!
Lemmy: 139.
Booker T: You did NOT just say that.
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