A distant cry of thunder flashes for a second, illuminating the inside of a small house…
Inside, 5 shapes are huddled in different corners, some cowering from behind a couch or under a sheet.
In front of a TV, holding a game controller, sits a yellow Shy Guy wearing a similarly colored dragon costume, with his masked face poking out from inside the mouth. Beside him, a Dry Bones wearing a blue shirt and blue hat also sits, squinting with concentration.
Drake Guy: HA! I am soooooo beating you at this game!
Dry: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like being the only guy left with power-ups and health left make you any better then me.
Drake Guy: Clearly, you haven't played DULL BONES INVASION II: THE CRAWLING INFECTED, because if you had, you would know that the person with power-ups and health is the WINSAUCE DEALER! HOO-YAH!
Dry: OW! Friendly fire, much?
Drake Guy: You're expendable.
A shivering figure crawls out from under a blanket. He's a dark green Lantern Ghost with purple feet and a purple hat.
Waluigi Ghost: G-g-g-guys... Can you t-t-turn down the sound? It's spooky!
Drake Guy: NO! Lants, the game is centered around sound! I need to HEAR when a Dark Bones is creeping up on me, or if Dry is suddenly knocked unconscious!
Dry: I've been unconscious for the past few minutes! You even hit me and kept running!
Drake: Any other time, I would help you up, but I need zombie bait.
Lants crept dejectedly back under his sheet... while a red Shy Guy wearing a large, black top hat rolled his eyes and stopped painting a sign with a handle for a moment to speak up.
Obstacle Guy: You've been playing that annoying game for three hours straight now. Shouldn't we be.... I dunno... job searching or something?
Drake: KLYDE! DON'T SAY THE J WORD IN MY PRESENCE!
A Bob-omb with disembodied hands and wearing a blue hat like Dry's jumps from behind a couch.
Crawler: Job searching? You guys need jobs?
Klyde: Yeah. People found out we live here, and now the landlord wants to tax us. Bro won't admit it, but we've been getting by on ignorance this whole time.
Drake: Not my fault people never look inside windows...
Another yellow Shy Guy, this one wearing a pointy, yet sagging, hat and dragging a large staff behind him suddenly walks into the room with a cheery expression.
Kamek Guy: THE COOKIES ARE DONE!
He holds a platter of charred, black lumps in the air with one hand.
Dry: Ahhhh... Whamek, as appealing as those look-
Whamek: EAT THEM.
A chorus of “Yeah, okays” echoes through the room.
Crawler: So, *crunch* *crunch* you guys need jobs?
Drake: NOT *crunch* UH! *smack*
Klyde: Yes. *crunch* crunch* *crunch*
Whamek: *crunch* *crunch* Oh yeah. That's right. *smack*
Dry: Dudes, *crunch* you should totally *choke* *rasp* *wheeze* *p-tooie* come and work with us at Bowser's place! *... crunch*
Drake: Hmmmm... *crunch* What are the benefits?
Crawler: You're close to the person who dictates you. *crunch* *swallow* *cough*
Drake: Co-*crunch*-workers?
Dry: There's some. *crunch* But they'll likely beat you up.
Drake: Pay?
Crawler: We have yet to collect. *crunch* *smack* *crunch*
Drake: ... BROTHERS! *CRUNCH* LET'S TAKE A VOTE! *GIANT CRUNCH*
Klyde: Sure. Can't be all that *smack* bad.
Lants: W-w-why not? *... nibble*
Whamek: I SAY YAY! *nomnomnom*
Drake: Mmmph! *swallow* THEN LET'S GO!
-------------------------
Kamek: Sooo... What're your skills?
Klyde: None.
Drake: HA.
Lants: … *sigh* Nada.
Whamek: I THROW A WICKED CURVEBALL.
Kamek: ... Great. We need interviewers.
Drake: Wow! Interviewers! We'll get our own STUDIO!
Klyde: Yay. Woohoo. Let's go.
Kamek: Just exit Bowser's Castle and head for the faaaaaaaar left hangar. It gets broadcasted into Lemmy's Land.
------------------------
Drake: Oh yeah! Watch out, folks, cuz a new Interview star is ON THE RIIIIISE!
Klyde: ... Nice TV crew.
Drake: OFF THE STAGE! *bumps*
Klyde: AUGH! *crash*
Drake: HIT IT, MILDLY WELL-MANNERED ANNOUNCER!
[http://www.lemmykoopa.com/lk20/lk20.php?&back=New&Submission=549
In front of the beaten wooden stage lie the Shy Bros. interviewing crew! Lighting Guy! He stays up in his wooden box all day, his bright green robe and shades hidden under the dazzling lights he shoots out! Oh, and he can't speak right.
Lighting Guy: Poco a Poco!
The infamous INTERN GUY! A pretty plain, boring-looking Red Shy Guy. Looks like he's drinking coffee right now.
Intern: Ya know, I HAVE a name. it's-
Last but not least, the crazy blue Shy Guy with the oversized headphones and the massive, moving camera machine! I've never seen him leave it! Camera Guy-
Camera Guy: Call me Camera DUDE, dude!
... Right.
And the INTERVIEWEE IS...
Drake: Boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy! My first guy I'm interviewing!
Lants: D-Dry said he'd pull some strings and get us our first one in no time, r-r-right?
Red Bones: Hey.
Lants: AHHHHHHH!
Drake: AWESOME! You're just like the guy in the videogame!
Red Bones: Ehhhhh... Not the best presentation of me, I'll admit.
Drake: Whamek, got the audience?
A crowd of nervous-looking Bellhop Goombas and tuxedo-wearing Koopas start shifting uncomfortably on their metal benches.
Whamek: Tricked them into thinking this was a deli!
Bellhop Goomba: Blegh. I want luuuunch.
Drake: Enough stalling! Red... Have a seat over there. *points*
Red: ... 'Kay.
Drake: QUESTION TIME! Red, is there MORE than one Red Bones?
Red: Of course. Problem is, our creation is a bit of a rare occurrence. There's usually only one of us for every Dry Bones-infested area. The Shadow Palace and Hooktail's castle are just two of many areas where we spawn.
Drake: Mmmmhmmm. Fascinating. Right-o, so, how ARE you made? Any different from Dry Bones?
Red: Kinda. See, every now and then a Koopa dies in a place swarming with other Dry Bones, Dull Bones, whatever. As he's getting resurrected through the normal restless soul scenario, the guideless thoughts of the other Bones compel him or her to take on a leadership role. We're defined by our different color to tell us apart, and we're gifted with subtle magic traits.
Drake: Liiiiiike?
Red: Well, we're able to sync our feelings with other Bones, and if we're significantly more intelligent than them, which we usually are, then our emotions take on a dominant role and they feel them too. The Hooktail one had greater intellectual integrity than the Dull Bones he was stuck with, so he could make them all feel rage at once and attack Mario. In the Palace of Shadows, the Red Bones there wasn't of a higher mind than the Dark Bones and was on par with the Dry Bones, so his emotions and thoughts conflicted with the Dark Bones and Dry Bones, making them disorganized. Of course, the Dark Bones were able to take control when he tried, as you can tell from the fight he had with Mario.
Drake: You... uh... talk a lot.
Red: Nobody with my IQ to speak to in Shifting Sands.
Drake: ... Anyway, I'm curious about something. Are all Bones made from dead Koopas?
Red: Some are just a bunch of mixed bones bound together by magic, but then again, the bones they are bound were made from dead Koopas... Soooo... yes, all Bones are dead Koopas.
Drake: Any actual kings ruling over the Bones?
Red: Most small areas of Bones are controlled by a Red Bones, like me, but King Boo is rallying some together. I'd join him, but I'm too far into Desert Land to help a GHOST army.
Drake: All right! That's pretty cool to know, actually. Soooo... uhhhhhh... do Red Bones get QUEENS?
Red: ... Dude. Some Red Bones ARE girls, ya know.
Drake: Oh, sorry. You sound like a guy.
Red: I'M NOT A GIRL, but SOME MIGHT BE.
Drake: Right, right, madam.
Red: ... Any Bones in the audience I can trade feelings of hate with?
Drake: WAIT! Before you maul me like a Buzzy Beetles moshpit, I gotta ask some more questions. What are all the places ruled by Red Bones?
Red: I don't know ALL of them, but I know a FEW. Hmmm... I pretty much handle Shifting Sands, since Eyerok is dormant most of the time. Hooktail Castle is still ruled by a Red Bones, and Shhwonk Fortress is split between one and the Golden Fuzzy. That's all I know.
Drake: Ahhh... Nothing quite like making an obscure, boring character look cool.
Red: ... Whut?
Drake: Be glad you're getting the Drake Guy bump, kiddo. Now you'll be in more fan fiction then Gloomtail.
Red: ... Kiddo?
Drake: STAFF QUESTIONS!
Camera DUDE: OH! OH! DUUUUDE! DUDE! OVER HERE! *waves hand frantically*
Drake: Hmmmm...
Camera DUDE: HEEEEERE! HEEEEEERE, DUDE! DOOOOOOOD!
Drake: ... Intern?
Intern Guy: I've got a name.
Drake: Shhhh... You hear that?
Intern: ... Hear what?
Drake: The sound of SOMEBODY NOT OBEYING THEIR SUPERIOR!
Intern: Whatever. Red, got any adverse effects to power-ups?
Red: Fire Flowers make us burn up and disintegrate. Ummm... Metal Blocks make us... well... solid metal... And Boo Sheets make us red shadows on the floor. I don't know what else could happen.
Drake: DONE WITH STAFF QUESTIONS. TIME FOR SPECIAL.
Klyde: Special? It's our FIRST show!
Drake: Klyde... why are you onstage?
Klyde: ... WAIT!
Drake: OFF! *bump*
Klyde: ACK! *loud crash*
Drake: Anyway, MY special is THIS! ... A terribly short RP battle! Between ME... and YOU!
Red: Fine. So THAT'S why you tried to get me all riled up with all those mean comments. You were making sure I didn't hold back...
Whamek: HAHA! No, silly! He's just a jerk!
Drake: C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!
BATTLE START!
Drake Guy 40/40
VS
Red Bones 40/40
Drake Guy used Roast! Flaming hot breath scorched over Red Bones! A whopping 20 damage!
Red Bones used Bone Cage! Move canceled!
Drake: UNFAIR!
Red: Don't you have OTHER moves?
Drake Guy used Jump! WHAM, DRAGOON STYLE! But only 6 damage!
Red Bones used Bone Mob! A massive crowd of Dull Bones suddenly started swarming the set!
Drake: OW OW OW! OWOWOWOW! THERE'S TOO MANY OF THEM!
I declare a loss on Drake's side!
Klyde: Good man. Now we can end this.
THIS IS ENDED…
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