Dark Koopa: Blurp.
Thumbs: Blurp.
Pura: Blurp.
Dark Koopa: Well, let's get to it right away to minimize cameos.
Swooper: Aww...
Dark Koopa: For those of you watching at home, yes, we are underwater. I guess it's where the plothole brought us? Whatever. Consistency smells.
Blurp: I can't help but wonder how you're underwater, seeing as you're not fish.
Dark Koopa: Mario characters can all breathe underwater... in certain games. It varies. Whatever.
Blurp: You're from a game where Mario never goes underwater.
Dark Koopa: And what game are you from, hotshot?
Blurp: Super Mario World, a game where Mario, Luigi, Yoshi, and even a Chargin' Chuck had infinite air... Bah.
Dark Koopa: Hah.
Blurp: Also, Super Mario Land 2, but that's a Gameboy game.
Dark Koopa: Ew. What about Yoshi's Island?
Blurp: Those are different Blurps. Why they have the same name, I don't know... Maybe whoever named them got confused.
Dark Koopa: Why haven't you appeared in a game since?
Blurp: We have. We're just not called Blurps. Everyone just assumes we're Cheep Cheeps. That's profiling!
Dark Koopa: Well, they did come first. Kinda like how people call cola Coke since Coke was one of the first to be famous for making soda.
Blurp: You know that game Cheep Cheep Chase? That was a Blurp, not a Cheep Cheep!
Dark Koopa: Well, Blurp Chase doesn't have that same ring to it.
Blurp: It was a Blurp that ate three characters of your choosing in Mario Party 3!
Dark Koopa: I choose Mario, Peach, and Yoshi.
Blurp: Then they're eaten!
Dark Koopa: I'm pretty sure they've all starred in games since Mario Party 3.
Blurp: Those games were made before those three were eaten!
Dark Koopa: Uh huh.
Blurp: You question the power of the Blurps?!
Dark Koopa: So who won that minigame anyway?
Blurp: That's none of your business!
Dark Koopa: Fine. Why do you wear goggles? It better not be because you can't see underwater.
Blurp: To distinguish ourselves from other Blurps and other fish species, like Cheep Cheeps and Rip Van Fish. It didn't work very well. Also, they make us look cool.
Dark Koopa: Which also didn't work very well.
Blurp: Your opinion doesn't matter.
Dark Koopa: Oh yes it does. What if a Blurp takes its goggles off?
Blurp: Then it's not a Blurp!
Dark Koopa: What if a Cheep Cheep puts on goggles?
Blurp: Then it will be killed for lying. WE HAVE WAYS OF KNOWING!
Dark Koopa: Your ways of knowing will destroy us all.
Blurp: You're gonna destroy us all.
Dark Koopa: Probably. Why are all Blurps in Super Mario World green?
Blurp: The area. Dinosaur Land Blurps are almost all green, but they're different colors elsewhere!
Dark Koopa: Uh, apparently you can swim through walls in Super Mario World, but other fish species can't?
Blurp: ... Those aren't walls. It's not our fault other fish species and Mario can only swim in a straight line.
Dark Koopa: No one was implying it was your fault.
Blurp: I'm on to all of you!
Dark Koopa: Relax and tell me how Soda Lake is.
Blurp: It's filled with sugar? How am I supposed to answer that?
Dark Koopa: Any way you can.
Blurp: Well, I just did.
Dark Koopa: Cool.
Blurp: ... Cool. So, bye?
Dark Koopa: Maybe.
Blurp: Maybe?
Dark Koopa: Maybe.
Blurp: ... Okay.
Pura: Just leave already so we can surface.
Blurp: Fine.
(Blurp swims off.)
Dark Koopa: What's the rush, Pura? We're Mario characters. We have infinite ai-
(Everyone drowns.)
Dark Koopa: -r. Hey...
Meanwhile on the surface...
Gloomtail: Gwahaha! With them out of the way, I can at last reveal my plan for world domin-
Gloomtail: No. It cut me off.
Gloomtail: Stop telling me to do things!
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