PlayStop

STEVEN interviews GEARMO
 
By Shrugger Shroob

In case you missed the last two Interviews, Shrugger and his crew are trapped in the vacuum of deep space.

Shrugger: STATED THE OBVIOUS, MUSICAL GUY. BY THE WAY, YOU’RE STILL FIRED.

Musical Guy: I know that. But everyone knows that I get rehired, so does it really matter?

Shrugger: YES, IT DOES, MUSICAL GUY. MORE THAN YOU KNOW.

Musical Guy: …

Y-Naut: Where are we exactly?

Shrugger: (checking his GPS that hasn’t been mentioned since MUSICAL GUY AND PIT interview GOOMBOSS) NOT ON PLIT.

Steven: (checking his Pokénav) Not in Hoenn.

Lemmy: (checking his all knowing webmaster powers) Battle Rock Galaxy.

Pit: (checking what Lemmy said) Battle Rock Galaxy.

Y-Naut: You seem right, Pit.

Lemmy: Hey-

Shrugger: ENOUGH TALKING, LEMMY! TECHNICALLY, WE STILL HOLD YOU HOSTAGE, REMEMBER?

Lemmy: Yeah, but-

Shrugger: SILENCE! ANYWAY, SINCE THIS IS BEING WRITTEN, THAT MEANS THAT THIS IS AN INTERVIEW, WHICH MEANS WE NEED SOMEONE TO INTERVIEW!

Everyone Else: … Huh?

CRASH!

Gearmo: Oh great. More trash.

Shrugger: AHA! SOMEONE TO INTERVIEW!

Gearmo: Ahh! The trash spoke!

Shrugger: WAIT A SECOND! AREN’T YOU-

FLASHBACK!

Shrugger is playing Super Mario Galaxy on the Dreadnought secret Star.

Gearmo: ARRGH! It’s hard keeping a dreadnought clean anyway, but then someone dumps a load of trash in the ammo dept! Hey… We have some bombs. Would you blow up this trash with them?

Shrugger: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. JUST GIVE ME THAT STAR!

302,928,272,625,242,322,212,019,181,716,151,413,121,110,987,654,321 tries later...

Shrugger: ARGH!

Gearmo: NO NO NO! YOU GOT TO DO IT FASTER!

Shrugger: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. JUST GIVE ME THAT STAR!

302,928,272,625,242,322,212,019,181,716,151,413,121,110,987,654,321 more tries later...

Shrugger: ARGH!

Gearmo: NO NO NO! YOU GOT TO DO IT FASTER!…

END FLASHACK!

Shrugger: I NEVER GOT THAT STAR BECAUSE OF YOU AND YOUR STUPID 30-SECOND TIME LIMIT!

Gearmo: No no, I was the other one.

Shrugger: OH. BUT THAT TOOK ME SEVERAL TRIES TOO!

Steven: Umm… Interview?

Gearmo: Huh?

Shrugger: OH YEAH! MUSCIAL GUY, YOU’RE HIRED, SO START US OFF!

(Last time on…)

Lemmy: LEMMY’S-

Gearmo: Hey, watch the bombs!

BOOM!

(…The Shrugger’s Interview Show, we ran into some weirdo called Phantos67 and learned about Mrs. I’s private life!)

Steven: All right then, Gearmo, you are getting interviewed by me.

Gearmo: Oh.

Steven: So, Q1, where do Gearmos live mostly?

Gearmo: The Toy Time Galaxy is where we are naturally, but most male adult Gearmos will leave the galaxy in search of a job as a mechanic.

Steven: Ah. Who built you?

Gearmo: Technically, our parents made us, but the first Gearmo ever was built by someone who no non-Gearmo cares about.

Steven: Interesting. How did it come to be that you are among the “Good Guys”?

Gearmo: Well, not all Gearmos are on Mario’s side. Me and my trash collecting brother, for example, are enemies of him. However, the Engine Room Gearmo and the Toy Time Gearmos are good. However, those Gearmos are good because they kinda didn’t have a choice, what with Rosalina and Bowser Jr. running around. We kinda like to stay out of anyone’s business.

Steven: Anyone?

Gearmo: Anyone.

Steven: Woah.

Shrugger: ISN’T IT TIME FOR SOME FILLER?

Lemmy: No, it isn’t.

Shrugger: THEN IT’S SETTLED. FILLER TIME!

Lemmy: But-

Meanwhile, way back at Shhwonk Fortress...

Golden Fuzzy: Ah, finally home sweet home after four years!

Golden Fuzzy gets into the Fortress and discovers that the front room has changed. The warp pipe and Quiz Thwomp are still there, but the room has expanded. In the back of it there is a sign that reads “SHRUGGER’S INTERVIEWS HEADQUARTERS”.

Golden Fuzzy: … I’ve been gone WAY too long.

Back in deep space...

Goomboss: HMM… WHY DO I FEEL AS IF ALL CHANCES OF GETTING THAT WRETCHED TIPPI ARE ABOUT TO VANISH IN THE HANDS OF AN ANNOYING MINIBOSS FROM PM:TTYD AND SGT. FLY’S ARCH NEMESIS?

Pit: No idea.

Steven: NEXT QUESTION! What’s with the ultra-strict time limit?

Gearmo: Outside of the game, a bystander would see that there actually was a lot more trash. So Nintendo decided to spare the players, who would hate it. It took Mario 2 hours to clean it all up, so Nintendo divided the amount of trash and time by 240, and lo and behold, a whole lot less trash but a feasible time limit.

Steven: How’d ya survive when you dropped that far out of the robot that looked nearly nothing like Bowser?

Gearmo: Although it sounds like the tackiest thing in existence, the Power Star and its weird magic thing saved us all.

Steven: Uhh… I’m kinda out of questions, so would the author please make something weird happen while I think?

Sure thing. Bob-ombs pop out of all of the holders and start walking casually along the diagonal of the platform. As you can expect, they all explode, splitting the platform into two. On one of them resides Shrugger, Y-Naut, Musical Guy, Mrs. I, Pit, Thwomp 64, Lemmy, and Gearmo. Oh yeah. The phone and camera too. On the other one is everyone else. The latter platform gets drawn into another Squarp and disappears. However, the show stays on the former platform.

Shrugger: … GREAT. THAT GEARMO IS PROBABLY GOING TO JOIN THE CREW NOW, ISN’T HE?

Gearmo: Probably. But, considering I don’t have a name, it’ll most likely be only for the next Interview.

Y-Naut: Good thinking.

Shrugger: SO… STEVEN, GOT ANY QUESTIONS YET?

Steven: Hmm… No. Can I bring out the Fabulous Phone?

Shrugger: SINCE WHEN DID IT HAVE A NAME?

Phone: Since about ten seconds ago.

(Everyone, including me, turns and stares at the Fabulous Phone.)

Pit: … You’re not going to become an intelligent character like the phone in Shady Parakoopa’s Interviews, are you?

Fabulous: I think the contrary.

SIC (Shrugger’s Interview Crew): …

Fabulous: Anyway, here’s my number again.

1-800-Shrugger’s-Interview-Show-of-randomness-but-not-as-much-as P.T- 
Piranha’s-interviews-but they’re-still-good-in-someone’s-opinion-man- 
this-number-is-long-and-ripoffish-of-Sgt.-Fly’s-and-we-are-starting-to 
sound-like-Morton-AHHHH!!!

RING RING!

Bobbery: How did you obtain your job as an unnecessary cleanup person?

Gearmo: One day, me and my brother-

Fabulous: *cough*

Gearmo: My brother and I-

Y-Naut: Since when do phones cough?

Gearmo: -were floating through-

Fabulous: Since they talked.

Gearmo: -space, when Top-

Y-Naut: Oh.

Gearmo: -maniac saw us and-

Mrs. I: You know, you two were quite rude just now, interrupting this Gearmo here.

Gearmo: -gave us the duty-

Shrugger: YOU’RE BEING RUDE TOO! HA!

Gearmo: -of cleaning up the-

Fabulous: Ha!

Gearmo: -dead and worthless-

Y-Naut: Ha!

Gearmo: Topmen. Other-

Mrs. I: Oh, that is it. FREEZE POWER!

Gearmo: -wise he’d-

(Mrs. I attempts to freeze Shrugger, Y-Naut, and Fabulous with her eyebeams, but some Bob-omb smoke blocks it.)

Gearmo: -bump us back into-

Mrs. I: *sigh* Pit? Musical Guy? Could you please help me out?

Gearmo: -outer space, and if-

(Me and Pit both say NO.)

Gearmo: -that wasn’t enough-

Mrs. I: Then you leave me no other option.

Gearmo: -it would be towards-

(Mrs. I… NO!)

Gearmo: -Toy Time Galaxy-

Lemmy: MPH MPH MPH! (YES!)

Gearmo: -where we were hated-

(Mrs. I unties Lemmy. Great. Now we’re probably all dead.)

Gearmo: -by everyone. So, we-

Lemmy: HA HA! FINALLY, I WILL GET MY REVENGE! FINALLY, I WILL RETURN HOME! FINALLY, I WILL BE TREATED LIKE I SHOULD BE! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Gearmo: -took the job. The-

(Oh great, it seems as if everyone on this platform except for Gearmo is ready to fight.)

Gearmo: -end.

FITE

(At the end of the fight, Lemmy’s unconscious. Everyone else is just standing there.)

Bobbery: … That was a waste of one perfectly good dollar.

Y-Naut: Wait, we charge a dollar?

Shrugger shrugs, and Chuck smashes Lemmy off the platform.

Fabulous: Ring.

Ludwig: Are the Gearmos allied with anyone? If so, who?

Gearmo: Well, we’re on loose terms with the Smithy Gang, and we don’t hate the X-Nauts. But, that’s pretty much it.

...

Shrugger: WELL?

Fabulous: No one’s calling.

Shrugger: ANYONE GOT AN IMAGINATION?

Everyone: No.

Shrugger: WELL, STEVEN, DO THE HONORS.

Steven: Gotya.

(Steven throws a bunch of Bob-ombs off the platform. This eventually leads to a rocket effect, which causes the platform to move slowly in the general direction of Plit. Oh yeah, and Steven burned himself to disappearance from the Mario world. Sorry about that.)

Shrugge: MUSICAL GUY, YOU’RE LAID OFF.

Musical Guy: I thought I got fired.

Shrugger: I STICK WITH THE TIMES.

Mrs. I: End transmission, please.

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