Lemmy: So, you want to be interviewed?
Waluigi: Yeah, but I’m afraid of the Interviews, of the studio, and I’m afraid of you too! Waaaah!
(Waluigi hides under the chair.)
Lemmy: Big sissy. Surely Someone and Anyone are thinking of some questions for this guy.
()
Someone: I’ll beat you, pal!
Anyone: Don’t be so sure! Take this!
Someone: No! You can’t defeat me so easily!
Lemmy: You two, what are doing?
Anyone: Don’t interrupt us. We’re battling in Super Smash Bros. Brawl.
Lemmy: Stop and come to the studio. The interviewee is waiting.
Someone: We haven’t been fired? Lucky me.
Anyone: Can’t we do that Interview later? We’re in a 99-lives match.
Lemmy: It is now. I have him tied up in the interviewee chair. It is important. If you don’t… You two aren’t hearing me, right?
Someone and Anyone: No.
(Lemmy throws the console through the window.)
Anyone: Hey!
Someone: We’ll go in a moment
(Someone and Anyone exit the room. Lemmy connects a new console.)
Lemmy: Great. Now to have fun…
()
Someone: Hi, and welcome to …
(Nothing happens.)
Someone: Where is Lemmy?
In the other room...
Lemmy: (playing on a new console) I must… pass… the level…
()
Anyone: Who cares? Let’s start this.
Someone: Today we’ll interview that scaredy cat who is afraid even of the air: Waluigi!
Waluigi: I’M AFRAID OF INTRODUCTIONS!
Audience: …
Someone: So Waluigi, what do you say about your roles in the Fun Fictions and Scribbles?
Waluigi: I have to say that despite that the plots and the authors scare me, they are very good, and I’m exactly like my roles in those stories.
Someone: Who is your favorite Koopaling?
Waluigi: If I had to choose my favorite, it would be Iggy, because he can be scared easily.
Iggy: I can’t be scared easily. I’m only afraid of Roy… and of other things.
Roy: It is time for pounding you again, Iggy!
(Roy beats Iggy to a bloody pulp)
Waluigi: You’re afraid of Roy? What a wuss.
Everyone but Waluigi: Huh?
Roy: You’re not afraid of me?
Waluigi: No.
Everyone but Waluigi: It can’t be… true.
Anyone: Wow. Another question. Why do you wear blue clothes?
Waluigi: I though blue would make me more brave and calm. It didn’t worked. NOW I’M AFRAID OF BLUE CLOTHES! WAAAHHH!
(Waluigi rips off his overalls and hat.)
Someone: At least he has a shirt and underclothes.
(Anyone dresses Waluigi with a barrel.)
Someone: Audience questions. Seat 4.
Koopa Troopa: How do you and your brother get along?
Waluigi: Not very well. He is too greedy and fat and ugly, and he is scary.
Anyone: I agree with you.
Wario: You’ll pay later, Waluigi!
(Wario storms out of the studio.)
Someone: Seat 568.
Daisy: What do you have to say about me?
Waluigi: You only scare me a very small bit. I love you.
Daisy: Why do I have such bad luck?
Anyone: Seat 841.
Goomba: Who doesn’t scare you?
Waluigi: Three characters: Roy, Daisy (only a bit), and Anyone.
Anyone: Me?
Waluigi: No, Anyone is my imaginary friend.
Someone: Seat 0.525.
Pink Yoshi: Do you like Yoshis?
Someone: Umm… Pink? Dark Koopa’s studio is at the other side of the street. You should go there.
Pink: Nobody tells me what to do!
Someone: Umm…
(Pink chases Someone out of the studio.)
Anyone: … See you all the next time here on-
Lemmy: Lemmy’s Interview Studio! End transmission.
Anyone: When did he arrive?
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