Phantos67: *sigh* I kind of like doing single Interviews. It’s hard warping from place to place and just interviewing with people, but it IS fun.
Wigit: Umm... Boss?
Phantos67: Yes, Wigit?
Wigit: You got a letter from some guy named “Shrugger Shroob”.
Phantos67: I did?! I haven’t heard from him since his appearance in that audience Interview I sponsored.
Wigit: That was a cameo appearance, Boss. He wasn’t REALLY there. It was some holograph thing.
Phantos67: I know that, but I did see him ask a question. Anyways, what’s it say?
Wigit: Something about an Interview he said he was going to do. The return address says “THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE IN DEEPEST DARKEST SPACE”.
Phantos67: I’ve got to read it!
Wigit: AFTER the Interview.
Phantos67: Who are we interviewing?
(Big Bully is warped to the studio.)
Audience: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
Thud: NO SAY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
(Thud starts squashing the audience.)
Phantos67: STOP, THUD! Big Bully, we are interviewing you today, it seems. It doesn’t matter if you want to or not, you are going to anyway. If you refuse I will open up the floor on which you are standing and you will fall into a lava pit and be completely destroyed. What’s it going to be?
Wigit: You just got right into the groove there, Boss.
Big Bully: Fine, I will be interviewed.
Phantos67: I knew you would warm up to me. QUESTION NUMBER ONE! What games do you appear in?
Big Bully: Super Mario 64, Super Mario 64 DS, and Mario Kart DS as the first boss the racer must beat.
Phantos67: How quaint. Q2, how did you get so big?
Big Bully: Quite a while back Kamek supersized me when I was a normal Bully. He was planning to use me against Yoshi, but I didn’t want to be under his rule.
Phantos67: I had a run-in with Kamek too, but we won’t get into that right now. Q3, there has been some inquiries about a different kind of “Bully” in Mario and Luigi Partners in Time. It was also named Bully and lived in Yoob’s stomach. They looked like a bull. What can you tell us about those Bully creatures?
Big Bully: Oh, them. They are kind of related to the Bullies like me. They were originally called Bull Bully, but Nintendo didn’t add that to their names. They resemble us because they have the same type of horns.
Phantos67: Cool. Q4, what is your problem with lava?
Big Bully: I am made of metal. When we are thrown into lava we melt. That is our only weakness. Well, also if we were pushed into freezing cold water or, of course, fall off a cliff.
Phantos67: Then why are you always near lava, freezing water, or a cliff?
Big Bully: Bowser didn’t have that many fire enemies so he used us instead, same with the ice and cliff thing. He didn’t find out until later that we could be destroyed by lava and cold water. We still always end up near the cold water or lava, though.
Phantos67: I guess that proves Bowser is an idiot.
Bowser: HEY!
Mario: CHEEEESE!!!
Phantos67: THUD!
(Thud squashes the two idiots.)
Phantos67: But what about Super Mario 64 DS? That was AFTER Super Mario 64, in which you still were near those things.
Big Bully: That was just a remake of the first game, stupid.
Phantos67: Shut up.
Big Bully: No.
(Wigit side kicks Big Bully, and Big Bully falls over.)
Phantos67: QUESTION FIVE!
Wigit: Boss, it is actually question six right now. And actually there have been a few questions after that, making it higher than just six.
Phantos67: Oh, well I want it to be question five! QUESTION FIVE! Any relation to Chief Chilly, Chill Bully, or Big Bob-omb?
Big Bully: Yes. Bob-ombs are made of the same material that Bullies are made of. Bowser just didn’t make us explosive; instead he gave us horns on our heads. As for Chief Chilly, Bowser got the idea for him by looking at me and Big Bob-omb. He also made another type of Bully called the Chill Bully made out of ice, like Chief Chilly.
Phantos67: QUESTION NUMBER SEVEN! What do you think of the name King Bully for yourself?
Big Bully: I like it, but I am not really their king. They don’t follow my orders or anything like that, unfortunately.
Phantos67: One more from me, how come in that one level of SM64DS when Mario beat all the little Bullies, YOU appeared again?
Big Bully: After they died I jumped down from a platform in the ceiling.
Phantos67: You died in the lava before that, though.
Big Bully: Bowser used a special healing spell on me and gave me another chance.
Phantos67: But you just appeared there. I saw you, you didn’t “jump down”, you just appeared.
Big Bully: *sigh* Bowser and I were up on the platform. Bowser gave me a ten-second invisibility spell and then I jumped down when the little Bullies were dead. It then wore off at that moment.
Phantos67: Oh. On to AUDIENCE QUESTIONS! WIGIT, CALL THE SEATS!
Wigit: Ok. Seat CLONE OF GENO!
Geno Clone: What are your attacks?
Big Bully: Ramming powerfully, and I have some snazzy looking horns... That’s it.
Wacko: Seat ANOTHER CLONE!
One of Phantos67’s Clones: How do you like this cool trick?
Big Bully: Hilarious. *roles eyes*
(The clone merges back with Phantos67.)
Phantos67: That was sarcasm in your voice. I hate sarcasm unless I’m the one using it. STRIKE THE SARCASM!
(A bolt of lightning hits Big Bully.)
Big Bully: HEY! THAT HURTS!
Phantos67: To strike the sarcasm we have to strike you as well.
(Wacko comes in.)
Wacko: I’m asking a question! Big Bully, do you plan to appear in any future games?
Big Bully: Yeah, some small appearance sometime soon would be nice.
Lemmy: How would you like to be interviewed by me?
Phantos67: Oh, I forgot! I have to take care of Lemmy.
(Phantos67 opens the floor with telepathy and Big Bully and Lemmy fall into the pit of lava below.)
Big Bully and Lemmy: AAAAAUUUUUGH!!!
Phantos67: I forgot they were both standing on the platform.
Wigit and Wacko: Are we done?
Phantos67: Yeah, END TRANSMISSION!
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