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DIMENTIO interviews TOAD
 
By Dimentio

(Cut to Castle Bleck. Dimentio is in his room. Count Bleck knocks on the door.)

Count Bleck: Let’s go, Dimentio. You have an Interview to do!

Dimentio: I am busy like a director reading the script.

Count Bleck: Are you looking over the Dark Prognosticus?

Dimentio: No!

Count Bleck: Or are you looking at those pictures of Rosalina you secretly took?

(Dimentio bursts through the door.)

Dimentio: Can’t you see I’m busy trying to uh… get to Dimension D to do my Interview? Honestly!

(Dimentio teleports to Dimension D. Count Bleck has a smirk on his face.)

Count Bleck: What a desperate guy.

In Dimension D...

(Dimentio is getting his show ready and Nastasia approaches him.)

Nastasia: Uh, Dimentio?

Dimentio: What? Can’t you see I’m busy getting this Interview ready? Now where is my interviewee?

Nastasia: Uh, yeah, you never really got one.

Dimentio: Oh… Not to worry. Now who will be my victim today?

(He takes out the Dark Prognosticus and closes his eyes. He puts his finger on a random page and opens his eyes. He snaps his fingers and Toad appears with a burlap bag.)

Toad: What the?!

Dimentio: Congratulations, you are my interviewee.

Toad: Oh well, make it quick! I have to get back to my pillow castle before the curator finds me!

Dimentio: All right, we shall begin like a surgical team beginning surgery on a dieing patient.

Toad: That’s not helping.

Dimentio: Question 1, your personality according to the Dark Prognosticus has changed quite a bit. Care to explain?

Toad: Well some things did change it. One was Peach kicked me out of her castle, another was befriending Bowser Jr. and the last one was being Popple’s new rookie.

Dimentio: Question 2, WHY did you make an entire castle our of the citizens of Toad Town’s pillows?!

Toad: Well since Peach kicked me out her castle I needed a place to stay. So with my newfound looting skills and my powerful Looting Machine I made the pillow castle.

Dimentio: Question 3, were you ever playable in an adventure game?

Toad: Well I helped Mario and Co. defeat Wart in SMB2. Also I was the protagonist in Wario’s Woods.

Dimentio: Question 4. what was up with the Toad Brigade? Are they related to the Toad Retainers?

Toad: The Toad Brigade was just a bunch of Toads (my brothers) who helped Mario (or Luigi) collect Stars. The Toad Retainers just protect Peach.

Dimentio: Question 5, will you return my video camera soon?

Toad: You can expect in 2-3 days.

Dimentio: Well then, time for audience questions.

(He snaps his fingers and an angry mob appear.)

Mob: Hey, that’s the guy that caused all that trouble with the goop!

Dimentio: Oops!

(Dimentio runs away and the mob fallows. Count Bleck comes to the scene.)

Count Bleck: Hmm. You think people would have forgotten that already. I mean Rosalina forgave him and that mess REALLY affected her.

Toad: Does that mean I can go?

Bleck: No. Good think I had this phone installed. Now we wait for someone to call.

(Ring! Bleck answers.)

Count Bleck: Caller one.

Bob-omb: Do you really swear a lot?

Toad: No. You see, I’m the new generation Toad. You’re thinking of the adult Toad. He is the one that always gets interviewed. I’m his nephew.

Count Bleck: Second caller.

Monty Mole: What is your relationship with Toadette?

Toad: Ugh. Okay, fine, she is my unofficial girlfriend. She really likes me, and me, well I sort of like her.

(Toad turns a little red.)

Count Bleck: Third caller.

Koopa Troopa: How are Toads actually powerful?

Toad: Well in realty all Toads are assigned a Star on their 10th birthday. That Power Star gives us a lot of power. However lots of us get easily scared so we are too busy panicking to actually do anything.

Count Bleck: Fourth caller.

Goomba: Just to clear this up, is that thing on the top of your head a hat or a part of you?

Toad: This is actually a Mushroom cap. In the Super Mario Bros. Super Show and in the Super Mario Bros. 3 cartoons there are episodes that show that it is a cap.

Count Bleck: Final caller.

Junior: I’m huuuuuuuungry. So let me have a pie with everything on it: anchovies, meatballs, Mushrooms-

Count Bleck: Ask a question or I will be forced to use, well, force.

Junior: How did you get those items in the Toad House from SMB3?

Toad: Simple. There was a secret warp pipe in Pipe Land that was very difficult to get to. There is a room filled with every power-up in that game. However Mario and Luigi were being mean to me so I decided to only give them one item instead of all three. Plus I sold some of the items to the Koopalings.

Count Bleck: Well that’s all the time we have today. Thank you, Toad, for being here.

Toad: No problem. Now I have to sell these babies before the curator finds me.

(Toad calls his Looting Machine and gets away from Dimension D. Dimentio suddenly comes back.)

Count Bleck: I did your job for you… again!

Dimentio: Well thanks!

O’Chunks: Dimentio, lad. What ‘appened to the angry mob?

Dimentio: Oh, I teleported them to Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. Today he has a guest appearance with Barney. They won’t stand a chance like Bowser falling into the lava in New SMB.

Mimi: For your sake, even though I hate you, I hope this doesn’t lead to another lawsuit.

Dimentio: Yeah well… See all of you next time! Ciao!

(END TRANSMISSION)

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