Joe: Yeah, hi, hello. Haven't seen me in awhile, have you? Well, you can blame the author for slacking off and losing interest in doing this sorta thing. But now he's back, so expect to see more of his stuff.
Amy: Who're you talking to?
Joe: The little people in my head. They tell me things.
Amy: Right. And where's Karlos?
Joe: He's gone from the author's mind, so we won't see him anymore. Good thing, too, ‘cause I can hardly stand these idiotic shenanigans any longer.
Amy: ... Regardless, you were going to interview someone?
Joe: Right, right, kinda on a tight schedule, so I'm interviewing Wart since he has little to no Marioverse history.
Wart: I resent that.
Joe: You can just keep quiet and answer the questions like you're supposed to.
Wart: That's no way to talk to the king of Sub-con!
Joe: Oh please, you're no ki... Say, you just brought my first question to mind. How did you become king of Sub-con, anyway?
Wart: I was a young and handsome toad at the time. One night, during a dream, I discovered the world of Sub-con. Immediately after entering, I seized the throne and banished the former king out of Sub-con, thus beginning my reign.
Joe: Right, and who was the former king?
Wart: You may know him as General Guy.
General Guy: I'm still trying to think of a way to kill you to this day.
Wart: Love you too.
Joe: All right, now how exactly did the residents of Sub-con react to you taking over as king?
Wart: You should have seen them; they feared me and my harsh ways and lived in terror. You could say I went mad with power.
Joe: Guess that's what brought Mario and Co. there to stop you, aye?
Wart: Grah! Mario! If that pesky plumber and his ragtag gang hadn't interfered, I would have conquered this world by now!
Joe: You can express your feelings of hatred towards Mario later. Anyways, why are you weak to vegetables?
Wart: Back before I ruled Sub-con, I suffered a terrible disease from eating a rotten turnip. It's become sort of a curse to get a painful feeling every time a vegetable comes in contact with me.
Joe: Yeesh, guess that oughta teach you to watch what you eat.
Wart: I've heard that one before...
Joe: Right. Anyways, I did say I was on a tight schedule, so I guess I'll go ahead and do audience questions. Seat 278.
Squiglet: What's with those bubbles you belch out?
Wart: They're made from an acidic substance that is produced from within my stomach. When a bubble of acid is large enough, it is stored away in a sac under my mouth until a point when I burp, allowing me to release the bubbles from the sac.
Joe: Uh... Too much information there. Anyways, seat 41.
Doopliss: Do you ever feel miserable about not appearing in any other Mario games, Slick?
Wart: Along with the rest of the bad guys who were only seen in Mario 2, yes. I'll never know when Nintendo might decide to use me again.
Clawgrip: He speaks for all of us...
Joe: Go see a therapist about that. Seat 92.
Unira: Do you know of the current ruler of Sub-con?
Wart: I have no idea. I don't keep up with Sub-con times since I was banished from there.
Joe: And lastly, seat 3.
Necky: If you do appear in another Mario game, would you want any specific requirements on your appearance?
Wart: I never really thought about that... I guess I could do what King K. Rool did and have a different persona.
Joe: I'd love to hear what sort of persona you had in mind, but unfortunately, we're out of time.
Amy: Wait, that's it? No chaotic ending or anything like that?
Joe: Nope. It's called "starting fresh", something the author was wise enough to do.
Wart: Who's this author person?
Joe: He's just the guy who's responsible for ending the Interview when I say "END TRANSMISSION".
Wart: What's that supposed to me-
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