(A black mage in violet-colored robes – Meteor Magus, the host – walks onto the stage and sits down.)
Meteor Magus: Hello everyone, and welcome to the Black Magic Interview Show-
Lemmy: Sponsored by Lemmy Koopa!
Meteor Magus: -live from Meteor Mansion in the heart of Meteor Mountain!
Bowser: What, it’s not Lemmy’s Interview Show?
Lemmy: Uh...
(---------------------------------Flashback-----------------------------------------------------)
(Meteor Magus and Lemmy are arguing in a backstage room.)
Meteor Magus: Come on, let me keep the name.
Lemmy: No!
Meteor Magus: Please?
Lemmy: Sorry, it’s MY show, no exceptions.
Meteor Magus: Would 200 coins per episode change your way of thinking?
Lemmy: ... We have a deal.
(They shake hands/claws.)
(-------------------------------End Flashback-------------------------------------------------)
Bowser: I’ll deal with you later, twerp.
Lemmy: *gulp*
Meteor Magus: Er, yes. So, anyway, this is my first Interview and this week I will be interviewing... uh... Who will I be interviewing?
(A random Black Mage walks onto the stage.)
Random Black Mage: It’s Lakithunder, Boss.
Meteor Magus: Thank you, Random Black Mage. *faces audience* Yeah, that’s actually his name. Tragic, eh?
Random Black Mage: Please, don’t start again, Boss...
Meteor Magus: Okay, okay, I’m sorry....
(Random Black Mage leaves the stage.)
Meteor Magus: So today we are interviewing that thundercloud-riding Lakitu, boss of storms, Lakithunder!
... Crickets chirp.
Meteor Magus: I said... here’s Lakithunder!
... Crickets chirp again.
Meteor Magus: LAKITHUNDER!
... Even the crickets are silent.
Meteor Magus: GET IN HERE NOW, STORMY!!!
...
(Lakithunder walks... er, floats onto the stage.)
Lakithunder: Sorry I’m late.
Meteor Magus: I’m warning you, watch your step.
Lakithunder: Step? I’m hovering.
Meteor Magus: *sigh* It’s an expression.
Lakithunder: Right.
Meteor Magus: So, first question: is that your real name? “Lakithunder”?
Lakithunder: Unfortunately, yes. It was probably because of my black shell and blond hair, but I have still been teased about it ever since... And my parents named my twin sister Lakitorrent. What were they thinking?
Audience: *GASP!*
Meteor Magus: What? You have a twin sister?!
Lakithunder: What’s the big deal? Just because she wasn’t in New Super Mario Bros. doesn’t mean she can’t exist. There, she’s over there, in the front row.
(There is a female Lakitu with a blue shell, long blue hair, blue-tinted glasses, and a blue scarf sitting in a rain cloud hovering above seat 11.)
Meteor Magus: I see. What’s with the “blue” shtick?
Lakithunder: Her name’s Lakitorrent. Torrent, heavy rain, water... get it?
Meteor Magus: Ah. So now, question number 2. How do you make those lightning bolts?
Lakithunder: I ride a thunder cloud, don’t I? I don’t actually MAKE the lightning, but I can tell when it will come out, so I try to position myself over Mario in time.
Meteor Magus: Interesting. Question number 3... oh crud, I don’t have a question number 3. All right then, AUDIENCE QUESTIONS Time! Seat 137! Oh, no, it’s-
Morton: Do you like WEDDING CAKE?
Meteor Magus: Not this again.
Lakithunder: Well, I-
Meteor Magus: Quiet.
(Meteor Magus points his rod at Morton.)
Meteor Magus: SILENCE!
(Morton glows white for a couple of seconds.)
Morton: ...
(He’s trying to talk, but no words are coming out! The whole audience suddenly starts clapping!)
Meteor Magus: Thank you, thank you, I’m here ‘til Tuesday.
Kamek: ... Tell me that spell NOW.
Meteor Magus: Maybe after the show’s over.
Kamek: I’ll hold you to that.
Meteor Magus: Okay... Where were we?
Goomba: In your interview studio.
Meteor Magus: ... *buries face in hands* Dear DAD help me, I’m surrounded by morons. Seat 385!
Yoshi: Why does your cloud look so... evil?
Lakithunder: It came that way. I didn’t make it like that, if that’s what you’re asking. Seat 11!
Meteor Magus: Hey, that’s my li-
Lakitorrent: Why did you steal my watch?
Lakithunder: ... Silence, fool!
Lakitorrent: *sigh*
Meteor Magus: Quit it. Seat 2!
Random Black Mage: What’s with the Spinies you throw? They’re a different color from normal ones.
Lakithunder: They’re Sky Blue Spinies, a more powerful type of Spiny.
Meteor Magus: Seat 920!
Wario: Why do you wear sunglasses?
Lakithunder: To make me look cool, why else would I wear them?
Meteor Magus: *snicker* They don’t work.. Lakithunder: What was that?! Meteor Magus: Nothing, nothing... Seat 57! Luigi: Why did you dive-bomb my brother when you were fighting him? If you didn’t, he would never have been able to stomp you! Lakithunder: He kept dodging everything else I tried and I got frustrated, so I tried to hit him myself. Of course, it ended up letting him beat me... Meteor Magus: (under his breath) Idiot. (aloud) That makes sense. Seat 792,356! Wait a minute... Dimentio: Parallel dimension seat, my friend. Why didn’t Lakitorrent appear in New Super Mario Bros? Lakithunder: She was too scared... Chicken! Lakitorrent: HEY!!! NOT TRUE! Meteor Magus: Woah, don’t fight here. But now that I’ve mentioned fighting, I’ve been wondering... Why don’t you people in the audience all fight? I mean, honestly... Bowser, you’re sitting right next to your archenemy Mario! (Bowser, in seat 55, looks to his left and sees Mario, in seat 56. He then looks back at Meteor Magus.) Bowser: Fair point. (Bowser then lunges at Mario.) Hammer Bro: Come on, men, let’s get him! (All the Koopa Troop members in the audience tackle Mario too.) Yoshi: Come on! We help Mario! (Yoshi and Mario’s other allies join the fight.) Luigi: Hey! Nobody cares about me?! AAAGH! (Luigi attacks a Goomba, and gets caught up too. Before long, everyone except Meteor Magus and Random Black Mage is caught up in a brawl.) Meteor Magus: Ugh, I had to ask. End transmission. Whoops! You're not logged in!
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