(Phantos67 and Wacko are on their way to the Lemmy’s Land pet shop.)
Wacko: So what are you planning to get?
Phantos67: I dunno, I guess something that could guard the castle other than Thud. You know, to give him a rest once in a while?
Wacko: Yeah, sounds good to me.
(They go in the LL pet shop.)
Lemmy: Hello, welcome to my pet- Oh, it’s you.
Phantos67: Yeah, it’s me. I need something to guard my castle, a Chomp preferably.
Lemmy: Here, take this one. His name is Nasher, and you can have him for free. He bites me all the time.
Phantos67 and Wacko: Cool!
(Phantos67, Wacko, and Nasher walk back to the castle and go into the studio.)
Phantos67: INTERVIEW TIME!
(The crew comes in.)
Phantos67: This Interview needs to get started, we are interviewing Goomba!
(Goomba is warped to the studio.)
Phantos67: Hello, I’m Phantos67! I’ll be interviewing you today.
Goomba: WOW! I’M ON TV!
Phantos67: Yep, cool, isn’t it? Q1: What games have you appeared in?
Goomba: Are you kidding me? ALL OF THEM! Well... most of them. I was the first Mario enemy ever seen in the first Mario game ever. Still I get treated like dirt.
Phantos67: Q2: How is it like being stomped on all the time?
Goomba: Miserable!
Phantoss67: Then why don’t you do something about it?
Goomba: Well… each time Mario comes near, the Goombas get overconfident and always charge Mario without thinking. That’s why.
Phantos67: What are your skills, abilities, powers…?
Goomba: Ramming an enemy (usually the Mario Bros) and telepathy.
Phantos67: Telepathy? You don’t use that in the games, why not?
Goomba: I told you, we get overconfident is all, but Goomboss, our king kinda, uses it. Like in Mario Kart DS he throws Goombas at the racer, using telepathy.
Phantos67: Oh. How many types of Goombas are there?
Goomba: More than fifty different kinds total.
Wacko: Wow, that’s quite a bit.
Phantos67: I’ve interviewed a couple kinds of Goombas already, but never the original.
Goomba: I’M ORIGINAL! YAY!
Phantos67: In Super Mario 64 DS on Tiny-Huge Island, were those tiny Goombas, Microgoombas from Super Mario Bros. 3?
Goomba: No, it was just a Goomba made tiny by the power of the Island.
Phantos67: When did you develop noticeable eyebrows?
Goomba: Well, some Goombas had them in the Paper Mario games, but we shaved them off later.
Grima Wormtongue: Like me in Lord of the Rings.
G Bloop: Sicko. Well, you’re both sick.
Goomba: I’m as healthy as a horse!
Dr. Mario: Cholesterol is a little high...
Phantos67: Audience questions!!! Seat, I HAVE GARLIC BREATH!
Wario: How heavy are you? In Super Mario 64 DS I could punch you, like, ten feet away from me!
Goomba: The average Goomba weighs about 15 pounds. You’re strong, that’s why you could punch us so far.
Wario: I got a compliment from a Goomba! Yeah!
G Bloop: Getting a compliment from a Goomba is an insult.
Goomba: HEY!
Phantos67: Seat I HAVE BEEN INTERVIEWED BEFORE BUT THIS TIME I BOUGHT A TICKET!
Peach: Why were you yellow in Super Mario Bros. 3?
Goomba: That was one of the many types of Goombas. They were called “Yellow Goombas” and were the easiest kind to beat. They also had the most boring and plain name of all of us.
Phantos67: Seat I LIKE PUNCHING!
Broozer, Purple Puncher, and Roy: Hi.
Phantos67: I said “seat”, not “SEATS”, and you’re supposed to ask a question.
Roy: All right. How come you are squishy?
Goomba: Our bones are more flexible than most creatures. So we get squished a lot.
Broozer: How come you don’t amount up to much? I mean you hear “Goomba Worker” but never “Goomba Manager”, how come?
Goomba: We are a lower class of species. People don’t treat us like normal people. So only a very few can amount to something.
Purple Puncher: How lone does the average Goomba live?
Goomba: Well, I’d say about up to 20 years average. But some have gotten up to about... 50 years old.
Phantos67: Seat MIDGET THE PIDGIT!
Lemmy: No more crewmembers for you, Phantos!
Wacko: I thought you were at the pet shop.
Lemmy: I was, but now I’m here.
Phantos67: Fine. Anyways, Midget, ask a question.
Midget: Have there ever been any tall Goombas?
Goomba: There have been big Goombas, but none that are skinny and tall. It would look strange.
Phantos67: CHEF GUY, I WANT SOME CARRIBEAN DISH THAT SOUNDS REALLY FANCY!
Chef Guy: Here you are, sir.
(He instantly comes out with something fancy-looking.)
The Whole Crew: Woah!
Wacko: FEAST TIME!
Chef Guy: I hope you enjoyed this Interview! END TRANSMISSION!
Nasher: Bark Bark! (END TRANSMISSION!)
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