In 1-up Boo’s studio...
1-up Boo: This is BAD Vim.
Vim: You’ve been saying that for hours! What are you talking about?!
1-up Boo: Lemmy Koopa is coming to study one of my Interviews.
Vim: How is that bad?
1-up Boo: First of all, I haven’t finished repairing the studio. Second… I don’t have a second reason.
Vim: No wonder the audience is here early…
1-up Boo: The audience is here early?
(1-up Boo glances at the audience.)
1-up Boo: Vim…
Vim: What?
1-up Boo: When is Lemmy going to be here?
Vim: An hour.
1-up Boo: That isn’t enough time.
Vim: Well I don’t control time.
Kingfin: Gwar.
(Vim looks behind him to see Kingfin.)
Vim: Why is HE still here?
1-up Boo: Because I don’t have a big enough cannon to blast him off to the moon.
Kingfin: Me like it here.
1-up Boo: Well you can be my security until I blast you off.
Kingfin: Okay.
Vim: …
1-up Boo: … Well I might as well repair the studio.
(1-up Boo pulls out a remote and clicks a big red button on it. The studio suddenly gets repaired.)
Vim: … WHY DIDN’T YOU DO THAT BEFORE?!
1-up Boo: … I didn’t feel like it.
Vim: … Your common sense can be questionable.
1-up Boo: You’re such a good joker, Vim.
Vim: … I wasn’t joking.
1-up Boo: …
Vim: At all.
1-up Boo: …
Vim: Hello?
(1-up Boo slowly floats away and comes back with his rocket launcher.)
1-up Boo: You do know I still have this?
Vim: Umm… Don’t hurt me?
1-up Boo: …
(1-up Boo blasts Vim with his rocket launcher.)
Vim: PAIN!
1-up Boo: (looking at audience) You guys enjoying this?
Audience: YEP!
(Vim stumbles back.)
Vim: Ow…
1-up Boo: Now you know not to insult me.
Vim: Fine.
Kingfin: When Memmy get here?
1-up Boo: His name is Lemmy.
Kingfin: Oh.
1-up Boo: Well it looks like he’s coming in three minutes… THREE MINUTES?!
Vim: Whoopee.
1-up Boo: When is our interviewee coming?
(At that, Spooky Speedster comes in the studio.)
Spooky Speedster: Here I am.
1-up Boo: You’re lucky you got here just in time.
Spooky Speedster: I am?
1-up Boo: Well otherwise I would have shot ya with my rocket launcher.
Spooky Speedster: Ah…
Vim: … Do you hear something?
Kingfin: Me hear screaming.
1-up Boo: Is that Lemmy’s voice?
(BOOM!)
Kingfin: Memmy crash through ceiling.
1-up Boo: It’s Lemmy.
Kingfin: Me don’t care though.
1-up Boo: Well, he almost said “I don’t care”.
Vim: … Is “I don’t care” your quote or something?
1-up Boo: I don’t really know.
Lemmy: … Ow.
Kingfin: Memmy speak!
Lemmy: It’s… Lemmy.
Vim: 1-up Boo was so excited for your arrival.
1-up Boo: Quiet.
Kingfin: Lemmy look funny.
1-up Boo: Yes, that’s it.
Lemmy: Well 1-up Boo… It’s time.
1-up Boo: For candy?
Lemmy: … No.
Vim: Interview.
1-up Boo: Yeah, yeah, I know.
Spooky Speedster: Is it time?
Lemmy: Yes.
1-up Boo: I’M THE ONE WHO SAYS THAT!
Lemmy: Well too bad. I’ll give you ten dollars if you start already.
(1-up Boo snatches the $10 out of Lemmy’s hand.)
1-up Boo: Deal.
Spooky Speedster: I take it it’s time for questions.
1-up Boo: Yes.
(Lemmy sits down on a nearby chair. Two Koopatrols come in carrying chairs; and put them next to Lemmy and sit down.)
Lemmy: My bodyguards.
1-up Boo: Right. So, do you make money being the speedster you are?
Spooky Speedster: Sometimes random Boos make bets such as whoever wins gets $20. I usually always win.
1-up Boo: So is that a kinda?
Spooky Speedster: I guess so. The only way I make money is when someone wants to race me.
1-up Boo: K. Does that headgear ever fall off you?
Spooky Speedster: Surprisingly no. Sometimes it will tip over a bit but it never falls off.
1-up Boo: Ah… I just now noticed that big hole you made in the ceiling.
(Indeed, there is a big hole in the ceiling.)
Lemmy: I didn’t feel like going through the door.
Kingfin: Memmy should have use door.
Lemmy: LEMMY!
1-up Boo: So Spooky, do you have any battle techniques?
Spooky Speedster: I can go much faster than regular Boos, but other than that, no.
1-up Boo: Do you ever go in the mansion in your galaxy?
Spooky Speedster: Sometimes I go in there to rest after a hard race, but other than that, no.
1-up Boo: I see… Do you ever take off that headgear?
Spooky Speedster: No.
1-up Boo: I see… VIM! Ask Spooky Speedster a question.
Vim: But don’t YOU have to ask all the questions?
1-up Boo: I need to think of more questions for him. ASK!
Lemmy: Fine. Vim, ask a question.
Vim: Did you ever work for King Boo?
Spooky Speedster: A long time ago, yes. I used to just be another random Boo in his mansion. I always sped down hallways and such. One time I bonked into his door real hard, the vibrations of this caused his room to shake and one of his most prized possessions fell off a table and broke. The result of this was me being launched off to Ghostly Galaxy.
1-up Boo: That must have made you feel stupid.
Spooky Speedster: It did make me feel stupid. Oh, and if you didn’t already know, Audience, I was seen in Super Mario Galaxy.
Audience: Ah…
(Randomly Bowser bursts through the door.)
1-up Boo: Great… Now I’m going to have to fix that too.
Bowser: Lemmy! Where have you been! It’s time to watch the Koopa training show!
Lemmy: I refuse to watch that show. Sic him, guards!
(The Koopatrols get up and beat up Bowser, then throw him in a dumpster.)
Vim: That was random.
1-up Boo: … I wanted Kingfin to do that, or Vim, or me.
Lemmy: Too bad.
1-up Boo: … Kingfin?
Kingfin: Yes?
1-up Boo: Kill Lemmy.
Kingfin: Yes sir.
Vim: Did he just call you sir?
1-up Boo: I’m so proud.
Vim: …
Lemmy: BAD! GUARDS!
(At that, a giant cartoon fight cloud starts.)
Vim: Kingfin vs. Lemmy and his bodyguards.
1-up Boo: Yup. I’ll ask Spooky one more question, then the audience can handle it.
Spooky Speedster: … Riiight.
1-up Boo: Were you planning on meeting Mario? Or did he just come?
Spooky Speedster: He just came. I was holding the Star as something to win if someone beat me. Many Boos tried to beat me in a race and earn it but that didn’t work for them. Eventually Mario came and beat me in a race… I tried to get revenge on Mario by beating him in a race in another galaxy, but that didn’t work.
1-up Boo: Well, the audience can handle it from here; I’m going to help Kingfin with the fight.
(1-up Boo goes in the cartoon fight cloud.)
Vim: Seat 4.
Chain Chomp: How were there the Chomps that came out of your mansion?
Spooky Speedster: Some mystic force or something. We really don’t know why that happens.
Vim: Seat 67.
Boo: Did you ever know there was that matter splatter area in our galaxy?
Spooky Speedster: What?
Vim: Let’s take that as a no.
Boo: K.
Vim: Seat 555.
Bomb Boo: Are you friends with Bouldergeist?
Spooky Speedster: I met him but never really became friends with him because he couldn’t really talk.
Bomb Boo: Or you couldn’t understand him.
Spooky Speedster: Whatever.
Vim: Seat 982.
Magikoopa: Do you do anything besides float there waiting for someone?
Spooky Speedster: Sometimes I go exploring in my galaxy or outside my galaxy, but usually I race Boos.
Vim: Last question, seat 56.
Koopa: What do you plan to do in the future?
Spooky Speedster: Probably keep doing what I am doing now. race, race some more, race even more, and explore.
Koopa: Heh… That rhymed.
Vim: Well we’re done.
(In a couple of hours the fight stops and Lemmy is seen gasping for breath.)
1-up Boo: Loser!
Kingfin: We win.
1-up Boo: Yes we did, Kingfin, yes we did.
Lemmy: Well, time to give you your Interview grade.
1-up Boo: … I did horrible, didn’t I?
Lemmy: Horrible? That was a great job!
1-up Boo: What? I beat you up!
Lemmy: I get beat up in every inspection I do. Your Interview was fine and your fight was… challenging.
Vim: …
Lemmy: Now if you don’t mind I must be going.
(Lemmy leaves.)
1-up Boo: ... Yeah.
Kingfin: 1-up Boo do good job.
1-up Boo: Yes. Now I must fix the hole in the ceiling and the hole in the door.
Vim: … This was by far the most random Interview we ever had.
Kingfin: Kingfin had fun.
1-up Boo: Well, now I must blow up the camera.
(BOOM!)
(END TRANSMISSION)
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