Boom: Today, as Fawful is *shifty eyes* busy, I will interview my awesome older brother, Boshi!
(Fawful is seen tied up, being poked by a Goomba with a pitchfork.)
Audience: This Interview is awesome. Not only is Fawful not doing it, Boshi’s in it!
Boom: Starting off, how are you so cool?
Boshi: I know, I have shades, so I’m awesome. Where do you think Roy got the gimmick?
Boom: Okay, here’s a real question, how’d you feel about being champion of Yo’ster Isle?
Boshi: Awesome! Too bad it was short-lived, as Mario made Yoshi high on cookies to win.
Boom: And why did you stockpile all those cookies?
Boshi: Duh! They’re like heaven, even to anti-Yoshis. Here, try some.
(Boshi tosses out cookies. Some members of the audience are seen ranking the Interview a “10”.)
Fawful: I’m the author, I should get credit!
Boom: No, there are two separate people who sit behind a laptop and write funny stories. You just happen to be more frequent
(Author’s Note: It’s true, Boom Yoshi is a person, and so are all the other members of my cast, who barely appear for that reason. The tourist Mario the Hobo is the only tourist I know who actually created a separate account. He is one of my closest friends.)
Boshi: Who writes the author’s notes, Morton?
Boom: I’m the one asking questions here. Now how did you become champion?
Boshi: I started running at an early age, just like you started setting things on fire. It naturally came to me.
Boom: Now for a new segment: Boom’s Bomb Rally! Boshi will choose someone to first ask a question, and then write down what he thinks the answer will be. If they aren’t the same, then I will blast him.
Boshi: Mario, you made Yoshi high on cookies so he could beat me, so I’m choosing you.
Mario: Mamamia! Now where’d you get the shades?
Boshi: Write down your answer.
(Mario draws a picture of cheese.)
Boshi: Not even close! I “bought” some from the Monty Moles.
(Monty Mole is seen walking around with sizzling eyeballs.)
Monty: AAHHHHHHHH, THE LIGHT!!! IT BUUUUUUUURRRNNSSS USSSSSSSS!!!
(BOOM!)
Mario: Mamamia!
(BOOM!)
Boom: Now that that segment is over, let’s get back to the Interview. How did you get hair?
Boshi: Hair is actually common on Yoshis. All you have to do is pour a little shampoo on your top spike. It’s actually a bunch of tightly packed hair!
(Boom and all the other Yoshis in the audience do so. Where they got the shampoo, I’ll never know.)
Boom: Do you like to be ridden?
Boshi: Only if it’s someone cool, like that couple, Raz and Raini. They were cool.
Boom: How do you feel about being separated from the rest of the world by the Pipe Vault?
Boshi: I quite like it. People are always coming to visit. I distinctly remember a slob named Booster and a snob named Valentina coming on their honeymoon. Us Yoshis started throwing melons at them, and they thought our elusiveness was fascinating (weirdoes) So they invited TONS of people, and now it’s like party central!
HyperParaYoshi: Do you know who I am?
Everyone: NO!
HyperParaYoshi: Foreshadowing… Duh, Duh, DUH!!!
(Shady music plays.)
Boom: We really need to get that record fixed. Anyway, let’s par-tay!
(Some idiot stands in front of the camera for the next 6 hours.)
Boshi: That was fun. End transmission!
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