Labelle’s Twin: Welcome, everyone, to another Interview! Last week you guys voted, and the winner of my poll was Luigi!
(The audience cheers.)
Labelle’s Twin: Please welcome, Luigi!
(Instead of Luigi coming from behind the stage curtains, he comes through a warp pipe in the floor.)
Labelle’s Twin: Hey Luigi!
Luigi: Hey Labelle, how’s it going?
Labelle’s Twin: Pretty good. Yourself?
Luigi: Same.
Labelle’s Twin: Good. Here’s question one… How does it feel to be the brother of the legendary hero, Mario?
Luigi: It’s great. Sometimes I have to stay and watch our house, but what’s best about it is sometimes I tag along with him!
Labelle’s Twin: That’s good. Question two! In Super Paper Mario, when Dimentio controlled you, how did you feel when you had to face your friends?
Luigi: Well, first of all, I hate Dimentio. Secondly, I couldn’t feel anything because he took over my mind, but would feel horrible fighting my bro and Princess Peach.
Bowser: Hey, how would you feel if you were still Mr. L, and you fought me?
Luigi: Actually, I wouldn’t mind because you always capture one of us in the other games so I wouldn’t mind pounding on you.
(The audience laughs except Bowser.)
Labelle’s Twin: No audience questions right now!
Bowser: Whatever…
Labelle’s Twin: Would you like to be kicked out, face the consequences, or stay?
Bowser: None of them.
Labelle’s Twin: That’s it! Thwomp!
(A Thwomp squishes Bowser.)
Bowser: Ouch! Ouch! Owww!!! Ok, I’ll stay and be quiet!
Labelle’s Twin: Good. Ok, Luigi. Question three! Why do you wear the color green?
Luigi: Because Mario wears red! I wanted red!
Labelle’s Twin: So if you started the journey instead of Mario in Super Paper Mario, and the gatekeeper Green asked you what your favorite color is, you would say red?
Luigi: No, I’d say green.
Labelle’s Twin: But you just said-
Luigi: I know my favorite color is red, but watch. If I say red and he likes green, he’ll kick me out of his house, but if I say green he won’t kick me out because I’m wearing green and so is he. But if Mario said it he would fling him out of his house! Mwahahahahaha!
Labelle’s Twin: ... Ok… Question four! What is the difference between your and Mario’s attributes?
Luigi: I’m taller, can jump higher, and am a little smarter and skinnier. Mario shorter, fatter, a bit stronger, and could probably run faster than me.
Labelle’s Twin: Cool. Question five! Do you hate your brother?
Luigi: At different times…
Labelle’s Twin: I don’t blame ya. I have the same feelings towards my brother too. Anyway, the audience may now ask questions! Seat 11!
Roy: What’s your favorite sport?
Luigi: I can’t choose between basketball or golf.
Roy: Cool!
Labelle’s Twin: Seat 29!
Wario: Is it true that I’m to Mario as Waluigi is to you?
Luigi: Sadly, yes…
Wario: Aww man!
Luigi: Well, that’s the truth.
Labelle’s Twin: How many more minutes?
Cameraman: About a couple more.
Labelle’s Twin: Ok, one more question! Seat 44!
Mario: Who do you like better, my girl or yours?
Luigi: Mine.
Mario: Stay away from Peach!
Luigi: Bro, I just said-
Mario: Just stay away from her!
Luigi: But-
Mario: Stay away!
Luigi: But-
Mario: Stay away!
Cameraman: Transmission ended.
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