Fawful: I’m on my 18th Interview, and I have 64 Koopaling votes! How? I’ll understand this never!
Echo: Ever, ever, ever.
Boom: Shut up.
Fawful: Everyone welcome Shy Guy!
Shy Guy: Hi.
Boom: STOP RYHMING!
Shy Guy: Why?
Boom: STOP! I HAVE A NUCLEAR CANNON!
Shy Guy: Umm… Shouldn’t we start the Interview?
Fawful: Okay. Why do you wear a cloak?
Shy Guy: They’re part of our body…
Fawful: What’s behind your mask?
Shy Guy: Not telling…
(Fawful tries to pull the mask off. He fails.)
Shy Guy: You idiot! It’s part of my face! I didn’t want you to know because I like the mystery of it!
(Fawful announces this to the world with a bullhorn.)
Fawful: Then why can Shy Guy Ghosts’ faces get sucked of by the Poltergust?
Shy Guy: Well, those ghosts aren’t really Shy Guys. They are just Duplighosts who have seen Shy Guys. Duplighosts don’t want to be seen in their true form, so they take on Shy Guy form in Luigi’s Mansion. They didn’t know that Shy Guy masks were not removable then, so they transformed into Shy Guys with removable masks.
Fawful: Why don’t they want to be seen?
Duplighost: I’m sorry that I’m so pessimistic. I’m a failure at life!
Fawful: o_0 Moving on, what colors can you be?
Shy Guy: Most commonly red, but also pink, blue, green, yellow, white, and black. That’s the order of their rarity.
Duplighost: I’m sorry that I’m so pessimistic. I’m a failure at life!
Fawful: … You’ve got to stop doing that.
Duplighost: I’m sorry… I’m sorry I even exist… WWAAAHHH!!!
(BOOM!)
(Fawful pours a bucket of water on the smoldering heap of ashes that used to be known as Duplighost.)
Fawful: What was your first game?
Shy Guy: I was hired by Kamek to invade Yoshi’s Island in my youth. Though, gamers saw me first in SMB2, or Doki Doki Panic.
Fawful: Audience questions! I got all my seats renamed with letters instead of numbers. Seat FAT ITALIAN PLUMBER.
Mario: Can I switch seats with Lemmy? I want seat I AM AWESOME.
Fawful: No! He paid a lot of money for that seat! Ask a question!
Mario: Can I switch seats with Lemmy?
Fawful: ABOUT SHY GUY!!!
Mario: Okay, why did you steal stuff in Paper Mario?
Shy Guy: We were planning on using those items when overthrowing Bowser and taking over the Mushroom Kingdom.
Bowser: You were! I am gonna… And when I’m done with you I’ll…
(BOOM!)
Fawful: Seat I AM AWESOME.
Mario: What do you think about me?
Shy Guy: You’re okay, whenever you’re not mindlessly jumping on my head.
Fawful: How’d you get in seat I AM AWESOME?
Mario: Lemmy gladly obliged.
(Lemmy is seen bound and gagged, in seat FAT ITALIAN PLUMBER.)
Fawful: Seat CAMEO APPEARANCE.
Snake: What are your moves?
Shy Guy: I can use Shy Dive, in which I charge at you for two damage, or I’ll occasionally do Shy Performance, qhere I jump on you for three damage, then take a bow.
Fawful: Seat SECRET SAUCE.
Luigi: What are your stats?
Shy Guy: Attack: 2 Def: 0 HP: 7.
Luigi: WEAKLING!
Shy Guy: You won’t be happy when I tell you Anti Guy’s stats… Attack: 10, Def: 0, HP: 50.
(BOOM!)
Shy Guy: Boom, why do you keep doing that?
Boom: I’m going for the record of most destructive Interview-helper.
Fawful: What’s an Anti Guy?
Anti Guy: I’m your tech producer!
Shy Guy: An Anti Guy is a black Shy Guy (the strongest kind) that eats Lemon Candy. If any Shy Guy eats Lemon Candy, they’ll power way up for a day.
Cameraman: Can I have a line?
Fawful: No… Hey! Boom!
(BOOM!)
(The screen goes black.)
Anti Guy: You killed him!
Fawful: End transmission.
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