MtH: Introducing our new Interview by me, Mario the Hobo. Please welcome LUIGI!
(The audience cheers as Luigi walks onstage.)
Luigi: Thank you, thank you. But I would like to introduce someone who begged to come, Mario.
(The audience boos and throws tomatoes and onions at Mario’s eyes as he walks onstage.)
MtH: Ok. Before we get started, I want to introduce my newest companion, Wario!
(Wario stands in the corner waving to everyone.)
MtH: And the judges are over there. I’ve decided to see who likes whose Interview. They are… Daisy!
(The audience claps.)
MtH: Second, Bowser!
(The audience screams “I love you, Bowser!” and claps as Bowser smirks.)
MtH: And last, Mario?
Bowser: You’re not the judge!
(Bowser punches Mario back to the stage.)
MtH: And last, Dry Bones!
(The audience claps for the third time.)
Dry Bones: Sorry I was late!
MtH: Let’s get started. Luigi-
Mario: Why are you a ripoff of me and call yourself a hobo?
MtH: Because you are one. Now Luigi-
Mario: Not true, I do have a house!
Luigi: Not true, it’s my house actually. He bunks with me.
MtH: Ok… Why does he bunk with you?
Luigi: He has no life. He breaks into my house to sleep and I waste gold coins to repair it. I’m not even sure if he is my brother.
Mario: HEY!
MtH: Mario, why do you eat too much?
Mario: I find that offensive. Besides, it’s private.
MtH: It’s true.
Mario: I like the food I eat anyways. Especially the snack in Luigi’s fridge, PB&J sandwich.
Luigi: I tell you, he wastes my gold coins!
MtH: All right, not the greatest answer. Luigi, check his passport.
Luigi: Why?
MtH: You’ll see.
(Luigi takes Mario’s passport.)
MtH: Now check the last name. Is it the same as yours?
Luigi: No it’s not! I knew you’re a fraud!
MtH: No, no, that’s Wario’s passport. Here’s Mario’s.
Luigi: … Errr… Yes it is…
Mario: Yippeee! In your face! I am not a fraud!
MtH: Next question, Luigi, why do you choose green as your color and for Mario, red?
Luigi: Green is the new black, and red is the new pink.
Mario: Hey!
MtH: Okay. Luigi, why is your Final Smash so much better than Mario’s in Super Smash Brawl?
Mario: I’ll get you after this…
Luigi: It’s a psychedelic zone for people to pay attention to Luigi.
(Luigi randomly changes his clothes.)
MtH: Ummmm… I’m not going to use you in Brawl…
(Luigi gets on the ground and screams to the Heavens.)
Luigi: Why?! Why does no one pay attention to Luigi?!
MtH: Mario-
Mario: Who here likes me?
MtH: No one, now-
(A random Goomba and Koopa raise their hands.)
Mario: Do you have a pitchforks?
(Goomba and Koopa nod.)
Mario: Cool. Now start an angry mob against MtH!
(Goomba rushes towards MtH.)
MtH: Wario…
(Wario rushes out and farts a gas bomb so everyone has to wear gas masks. And Goomba runs out.)
MtH: Now then Mario, what’s your last name, as if there ever was one?
Mario: I don’t know myself, but I think it is Epicene.
(The audience laughs at Mario.)
MtH: Mario, why do you like Peach so much that you go through all these Mushrooms and turtle shells just to get a kiss?
(Peach stands up in seat 13.)
Peach: He’s right. I don’t know why I kissed you on the forehead and then baked you a cake.
Mario: Well that’s self-explanatory; I went through all that to get a kiss from the great Princess Peach and– Hey!
MtH: Well, you answered it. So Luigi, who are your parents?
Luigi: Well, I don’t know. I think I’m an orphan…
MtH: Technically no because you have Mario.
Luigi: Well, I’d rather take care of him right now…
MtH: So you don’t know who your parents are?
Luigi: Yep.
MtH: Search on the Internet after this Interview.
Luigi: Sure.
MtH: Well that wraps up this Interview. Any questions from the audience? Yes, seat 516.
Red Yoshi: Do you two normally fight?
Luigi: Yes sometimes, but especially when Mario takes my clothes. We get into a big fight with our fire powers.
MtH: Is that all? Cool... Judges, what did you think of Luigi’s Interview?
(Daisy gives ten. Bowser gives nine. Dry Bones gives ten.)
MtH: Now of Mario?
(Daisy gives a one. Bowser gives a picture of him strangling Mario; under that, zero. Dry Bones gives negative 5.)
MtH: Now did you like this Interview?
(Daisy puts up a yes. Bowser puts No and “Why am I here wasting my time?” Dry Bones puts up a yes.)
MtH: Well then, see you all next Interview!
Luigi and Mario: End Transmission.
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