Boom: Why the exclamation mark? It’s just Koops.
Koops: Hey!
Fawful: It’s also ME in the title!
Koops: Hey!
Boom: Hay is for horses.
Koops: Why are you using a corny old person saying?
Fawful: I’m supposed to be asking the questions.
Koops: …
Fawful: Show me your Shell Toss attack.
(Koops ducks into his shell and knocks into Pyro. His shell sets on fire.)
Fawful: No! Not Kooper’s Fire Shell!
Pyro: …
Koops: All you have to do is duck into your shell and roll. I catch on fire because I ran into a Podoboo.
Fawful: You do know you’re still on fire, right?
Koops: Yeah, I’m so awesome!
Everyone in the Studio: …
Everyone Else: …
Koops: Is … like a new trend?
Plit: …
Fawful: Who was your mother?
Koops: Kolorado’s wife.
Kolorado: I knew it! Stupid polygamists! Stupid Koopley!
Fawful: Who’s Koopley?
Koops: My dad. He got eaten by Hooktail when I was a young lad.
Boom: Why are you saying words like lad?
Koops: I’m Scottish.
Plit: …
Fawful: Why did you join up with Mario?
Koops: I wanted to overcome my fears and not be called a loser like my father
Boom: (whispering) Look where that’s gotten him.
Koops: Why are you whispering that to me? Wasn’t the purpose for me not to hear it?
Boom: That’s what you think…
Koops: Um…
Fawful: Why do you have that bandage on your face?
Koops: It gives me character. See, when I take it off, I’m just a normal Koopa.
Fawful: Did you ever notice the giant wart under the bandage?
Koops: What wart? I look fine!
Wart: Help me! I need to get back to Sub-con!
Fawful: Wow. Lemmy hasn’t even appeared this episode
Meanwhile in a dark room...
Lemmy: AAHHHH AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
Wendy: Lemmy, just relax; it’s a tea party!
Lemmy: Your Teletubbies doll is giving me the willies.
Wendy: That isn’t a Teletubbie, that’s Chuckie!
Back to the studio...
Fawful: Audience questions. Seat 101.
Dalmatians: How do you do Shell Shield?
Koops: I take off my shell and put it on Mario.
Dalmatians: Then why doesn’t Nintendo show you in your underwear?
Koops: I don’t wear underwear, and Nintendo didn’t want to rate Paper Mario 2 M.
Fawful: Seat irrational number.
Angry Sun: I AM ANGRY!
Koops: Go see a counselor.
Angry Sun: WHY ARE YOU SO TIMID? MY ANGRINESS IS ANGRY TO KNOW THAT!
Koops: When I was a kid living in Koopa Village, Koopa Koot asked me to do errands for him. I always failed, and it really bruised my confidence.
Angry sun: I WILL GO TO KOOPA KOOT FOR ANGER MANAGEMENT!
Fawful: Seat pie.
Goompa: I was Koopa Koot’s best friend, and he’d never do that!
Koops: No, I bruised my confidence on my own when I tried doing chores for him
Fawful: I don’t like emotional moments. Please make this stop!
Mario: CHEESE CHEESE CHEESE MILK CHEESE!
Everyone: …
Fawful: Seat …
Mr. L: Will you help me destroy Mario?
Koops: Gladly.
Mario: End-a trans-a-mission!
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