Lemmy: From now on in order to interview anyone, you must have a higher IQ than him or her.
Fawful: Why is this?
Lemmy: I am forcing you to do the work on your own, instead of ordering bystanders.
(Fawful is missing!)
Lemmy (raising his fist and shouting): This is coming out of your paycheck!
(Lemmy kills a random Monty Mole. A hologram of Fawful appears.)
Fawful’s Hologram: You don’t even give me a paycheck.
Boom: Oh no! Now who will interview Mario?
(Lemmy looks at the audience.)
Audience: If you force us to interview, we want our money back!
(Lemmy looks across the stage.)
Ludwig: I’ll give you this IQ evaluator if you promise not to choose me!
Lemmy: Ok.
(Lemmy takes it and points it at Mario. He then scans the whole stage and finds the perfect person.)
Lemmy: Boom!
Boom: Yes!
Lemmy: Give me your McDonalds Happy Meal!
Boom: Why?
Lemmy: I’m hungry. Oh, and because the only person in the studio with a higher IQ than Mario is… The chicken nuggets you are eating for lunch!
Chicken Nuggets: Everyone give a hand to Mario!
(Mario enters. Mario farts.)
Mario: (blushing) Mamamia! Anyway, I’d like to thank StageKoop for giving me free spaghetti.
Chicken Nuggets: Okay, so Mario, why do you like red?
Mario: Because Luigi likes green!
CN: ?
Mario: Red and green are opposites!
CN: Why does Luigi like green?
Mario: Because I like red!
CN: (Grr.) WHY WERE YOU ASSIGNED THE COLORS RED AND GREEN!
Mario: The stork delivered us that way!
CN: BUT WHY!
Mario: Do not question videogame logic!
CN: Is Mario really your name?
Mario: No it’s…………………………………………………………. Eugene. CN: o_0 CN: Do you like Peach? Mario: … I am going to act like an incompetent to avoid answering that question. Derr… (He starts to drool) CN: I’ll take that as a yes. Mario: Mamamia! CN: Where did you come from? Mario: Brooklyn. CN: If you came from Brooklyn, than why do you speak in an Italian accent? Mario: Ever heard of an immigrant? Fawful’s Hologram: Audience questions! Seat 307,560,154,780,156,147,056,847,301,560. Kolorado: Why can’t you talk in the games? Mario: I act like an incompetent in the games and many Lemmy’s land stories because I don’t want to have to talk! Even though you can’t see it in the games, my mouth is always full of cheesy pasta, and if I talk, I’ll be embarrassed. Instead I might make random Italian sounds, which most people can somehow interpret. In the Lemmy’s Land stories, I act like an incompetent to avoid blame, like how I did with the Peach question. CN: Seat 1. Luigi: Do you really know what you just said? Mario: Not a clue. CN: o_0 Okay, moving on, what is your favorite food? Mario: Weelll… Spaghetti with cheese and super spicy hot sauce, and fajitas as a close second. CN: Wow Mario, you like it hot, don’t you? Why does it say your name is Mario? Narrator: Deal with it. Mario: Of course! Why do you think I like throwing fireballs? They’re HOT! Fireball (the author): Umm… Author’s Note: Thank you, Fireball, for helping me reconnect with Lemmy after I lost it. (Connection, that is) CN: So Mario, do you really think Random Monty Mole is dead? Mario: Of course not! He’s my brother! CN: Brother? But I thought Luigi was! Mario: Who in the world is that guy?! Luigi: (whispering and pointing at Mario) He fell off the stork at birth. Everyone: SHUT UP, LUIGI! Audience: How did you get into the Mushroom Kingdom? Mario: I fell down a drain! Pyro: CCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEE!!! Mario: Be quiet while I eat my Fajita. CN: Be quiet while I pull out my oversized bazooka and aim… Mwahahaha! Now I will blast you all into oblivion! (Boom eats Chicken Nuggets.) Lemmy: What did you do that for? Boom: I was hungry! Cameraman: Oops, out of film. Whoops! You're not logged in!
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