Last time...
(Joshua is seen driving the Batombile over a jump, Dukes of Hazzard-style, with BB in the passenger seat.)
BB: WE’RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT!!!!!
...
Katie: Bro, I’m pregnant, and Inferno is the father!
...
(King Boo is seen eating tacos.)
...
Katie: Joshua, I’m pregnant, and Crump is the father!
Joshua: No %$* way!
Katie: Ok, I was kidding about that one.
Joshua: …
...
(BB is seen driving the Batmobile over a jump, James Bond-style.)
(Joshua’s Author’s note: Quantom of Solace is AWFUL!)
Joshua: WE’RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT!!!
... Wait, did any of that actually happen?
Joshua: I’m pretty sure it did.
King Boo: I definitely had those tacos.
Joshua: Oh yeah, and this happened too…
(A shadow moves across the floor, and enters Jeff’s body. He doubles over in pain.)
Joshua: … Jeff? You ok?
(Jeff’s eyes glow red, and his body turns black.)
Jeff???: Heh-heh-heh… Why, Son, I’m just fine!
Joshua: Shadoo! Get out of his body NOW!
Jeff/Shadoo: Not going to happen. This time, you will perish! The Shadow Queen will be mine.
Joshua: There we go.
BB: Dude, how did we get here?
(It is revealed that Joshua, BB, and Jeff/Shadoo are standing on a plain not unlike Stardust Fields, but with Star Bits landing regularly like in Super Mario Galaxy.)
Joshua: You’re the one who initiated the scene transition…
BB: Shaddap. Hey, since you did a bunch of Tales references last time you fought him, can I do some references of my own?
Joshua: Eh. Why not?
Shadoo: FOOLS! Prepare to face my true power!
(He flies over to the Comet Observatory. Apparently BB took them to a planet near there.)
BB: Oh no… Please don’t tell me he’s gonna do what I think he’s gonna do…
Joshua: Considering that YOUR author is writing this part, he probably is.
(Shadoo starts merging with the Observatory, random bits and pieces of it forming a dragon-like body.)
BB: Yep, he is.
(Shadoo now looks like Metal Madness from Sonic Heroes.)
Joshua: WHAT?! When you said references, I thought it would be something cool!
BB: Hey, that boss is fun!
Shadoo: Burn to death!
(He shoots a flamethrower at the two. And, we’ll catch up with that later. Interview time!)
...
(Inferno and DarkZero are staring at each other.)
Inferno: … I dunno who this guy is, but I don’t like him.
Punchinello: … You guys gonna interview me, or what?
Inferno: … Oh, right. What have you been up to since SMRPG?
Punchinello: I’ve been working on brand new Giga Bombs!
(A Bob-omb twice the size of a Mezzo Bomb falls from the ceiling.)
Punchinello: … You idiot! You weren’t supposed to come down until later!
(He starts beating the bomb about the fuse, which ignites.)
Everyone: … Oh crud.
(KA-BLAMMO!!!) (Inferno, DarkZero, the rest of Joshua’s crew, and Punchinello are now flying through the air. They are slightly blackened, but otherwise, none the worse for wear, somehow.) Punchinello: Oops. Inferno: There goes our deposit on the place. Is that seriously all you’ve been doing? Punchinello: I also helped out with the Subspace Bombs. The Ancient Minister forced me. DarkZero: YAY AERIAL INTERVIEW! WHEEEEEEEEEE! Um… I mean… Was it blackmail? Punchinello: Yes. He threatened to expose my dark secret. Inferno: Which is…? (A red lock and gray chains appear around Inferno, draining his energy, though only he can see them.) Inferno: What the?! DZ: What? What’s the big deal? (Aaaand, since I have no idea where Joshua’s going with this, I’ll write the next battle scene!) (BB and Joshua are avoiding ice spires, stasis fields, and flames from Shadoo’s onslaught.) BB: Grr… (in Cooler/Mecha Sonic’s voice) I’VE LET YOU LIVE LONG ENOUGH! (BB charges up a Dark Lazer.) Joshua: Umm… BB? Not a goo- BB (voice still changed): DIE! (He fires the laser, making Shadoo twice as powerful!) Shadoo: Hm hm hm hm… I thank you for that, little ghost, but I’m afraid I must still kill you! (Shadoo charges BB, knocking him out into the distance.) Joshua: BB! (Shadoo turns his focus to Joshua.) Shadoo: Now, my Son, YOU PERISH!!! Joshua: Oh crud… (Joshua and Shadoo engage in an epic battle until there is a flash from the distance, distracting both fighters. A human in a black and gray-checkered hoodie, black jeans and slip on shoes, who has longish brown hair and looks like the age of 15/16, comes flying out of the distance and slams Shadoo to the planet’s surface.) ???: Heh heh. Not too tough. Joshua: Who are… ???: It’s me, BB. I’m just in my human form. Name’s Josh. Joshua: Okay then. I’m overloaded with questions, but… Let’s go! Josh: Awright! Joshua: (Please work…) Wings? (He tries to summon his angelic wings from the last fight, but, no dice.) Joshua: Dang. Oh well. I call upon the power of the holy blades. Prism Sword! (A square of light appears under Shadoo, and he is slashed by blades of light.) (BACK TO INTERVIEW!) Stuffwell: Hey! (I kick Stuffwell to the Deep Dark Galaxy, where he is never heard from again.) Joshua’s Author’s Note: On a side note, Mario and Luigi 3 has been confirmed, and is looking AWESOME!!! Inferno: So, about this dark secret… I think I may know what it is. Punchinello: You do?! Inferno: Would it have anything to do… with this? (He pulls out a DVD. How it doesn’t burn up, I do not know.) Punchinello: What’s that? Inferno: It’s an audition tape for Plit Idol. You’re on it. (Punchinello pauses for a second before striking a surprised pose.) Punchinello: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (The lock on Inferno breaks, the chains disappear, and Inferno’s health is refilled somehow.) Punchinello: I auditioned for Plit Idol. The judges really hated me though, said I was the worst singer they ever saw. I was so ashamed, I destroyed all the tapes with a Mezzo Bomb. How’d you get one? Inferno: I know a guy. DZ: Look! GIANT ENEMY CRAB! Attack his weak point for massive damage! (He points at a large Sidestepper tearing apart a Mario Bros. stage.) Inferno: That’s not what you see every day. DZ: Why don’t you use Bob-ulks and Bulky Bob-ombs instead of your outdated Mezzo Bombs? Punchinello: OUTDATED?! (He throws a Mezzo Bomb at DZ, but he dodges and it destroys the Sidestepper from before.) Punchinello: Nuts. Anyway, the Mezzo Bombs have sentimental value. I’ve been using them ever since I invented them! Inferno: How’d you invent them? Punchinello: Fusing Bob-ombs together with magic! Inferno: … Stupid magic. Everyone’s excuse for everything. Punchinello: Shaddap. DZ: Look! FIREBALLZ! YUM! (So we don’t have to see a terrible YouTube joke, I’m switching over to the fight.) Lemmy: HEY! (What now?!) Lemmy: There is too much action in this Interview! I need more interview! (Yeah. Like I need a bullet in my head…) Lemmy: What? (Wait! You were in space last time I checked!) Lemmy: I got back like BB did. (We’ll fix that.) (Lemmy flies past Josh, Joshua, and Shadoo.) Josh: ?! What the…? Oh well. Let’s get back on track, shall we? Joshua! Cover me! Joshua: What? Oh fine! Prism Sword! (As Joshua and Shadoo duke it out, Josh is charging energy, with little orbs of light around him. He curls up into a ball.) Josh: Ready! Shadoo: What now?! Josh: GO! (Josh flies at Shadoo’s chest at light speed. Just when he’s a foot away from it, he stops.) Joshua: What are you doing?! (Josh shoots a beam of light at Shadoo’s chest, sending him sailing into Melty Molten Galaxy. The two Josh’s pursue.) Shadoo: Hm hm hm hm hm hm hm. Well Son, your skills have improved since we last did combat. And your stooge seems to have some battle skills as well. Josh: HEY! Joshua: Oh, who are you kidding? Josh: Grr… Shadoo: But now I’m afraid I must end our family reunion. Prepare to DIE! Shadoo turns into a black ball, then splits into two separate beings: a Shadow Joshua and a Shadow Josh. Joshua: Great. Now what do we do? Josh: Let’s do it to it! Joshua: You stole that from some stupid comic, didn’t you? Josh: First, it ain’t stupid. But you’d better believe it. S. Josh’s: Enough! You will both taste what it feels like to die at your own partners’ hands! Josh: Try me, Shads. Joshua: … S. Joshs: … Never call me that again. (And… Interview.) Inferno: Why do I get the feeling we’re about to hit the ground? DZ: ‘Cause we are. Inferno: What?! Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (They hit the ground. Painfully.) DZ: Pain… (See? … AHHHH TOO MUCH FILLER!!!) Inferno: Sorry. Tell us why each of Smithy’s minions had a Star. Punchinello: We actually had a bet. After Smithy broke Star Road, we came up with the idea to try to steal a Star from Smithy’s factory. If we did, we got instant respect from the rest of the circle. Inferno: What happened when Smithy found out? Punchinello: He never did. He’s not the brightest of guys, you know… Inferno: Trust me, I’ve dealt with that type before… (He glares at Crump and DZ.) DZ: Why’s he glaring at you? Crump: I was about to ask you that. DZ: Weird. Punchy- (Punchinello. Don’t. Call. Me. Punchy.) DZ: Sheesh, touchy touchy… Anyway, what were you doing in Moleville Mines? Punchinello: I was getting coal to help power the Factory. I also heard that there were some explosives experts in Moleville, and I figured I could learn something from them. DZ: You‘re not the brightest fuse on the bomb, are you? Punchy: I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT! (Fine.) DZ: Who’s your favorite singer? Just a random question. Punchinello: Rick Astley. Inferno: Do not go there, man. DZ: AUDIENCE TIME! :D Inferno: No audience. (Just then a bunch of Lumas come down to Plit, fleeing from the battle above.) DZ: That’s convenient. Inferno: Seat 35! DZ: No seats… Inferno: *points to a random red Luma* YOU! Ask this bomb… eggplant… thing… a question! Red Luma: Where do babies come from? Punchinello: Ask your mom. (Red Luma flies over to Rosalina.) RL: Mama, where do babies come from? Rosalina: SAMMICH! (She swallows the poor Luma whole.) Rosalina: :D (DZ points to a hungry Luma.) DZ: You there. Yeah. You. HL: What’s your stats? Punchinello: Terrible grammar… HP: OVER 9,000. Def: 0 Atk: 1. Green Luma: HEY WAIT! How did Mario beat you then? Punchinello: That stupid Mezzo Bomb killed me. Inferno: DON’T ASK QUESTIONS OUT OF LINE, WORM! (He burns Green Luma to a crisp.) DZ: Hey, how many audience questions do we usually ask in an Interview? Inferno: I don’t remember. It’s been awhile since I’ve interviewed. Let’s cut it off for now. END- DZ: END TRANSMISSION! HA! Inferno: Bah. Let’s go watch the battle with my secret camera installed in MMG. DZ: Seriously, how many of these things do you have? Inferno: I lost track. Meanwhile... (The Josh’s are getting the pulp beaten out of them.) Josh: Dang! Your clone is good, man! Joshua: … Not sure if I should take that as a complement or not… Josh: Just shut up. Shadoo: Hm hm hm hm hm hm hm. Too easy. Both of you are pushovers. I don’t care about you, Josh, but Son… I am deeply disappointed. Joshua: OH SHUT UP ALREADY! (Communication Lost.) Whoops! You're not logged in!
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