G.G: Well I just got back from the polls, and it turns out Bowser has won the election for Koopa King against his opponents, John Mckoopa and Barack Obobo-omb
Koopa 13: What? Why Bowser? Bowser is such a crybaby, he always loses to Mario, he-
(Bowser suddenly arrives from above and squashes Koopa 13.)
Bowser: Silence, traitor! I AM THE MIGHTY KING BOWSER! I AM-
(G.G. A stupid turtle who gets his butt kicked by a plumber that’s loves che-)
(Bowser breathes fire on the G.G. Crew.)
G.G: Ow.
Koopa 13: It burns!
Chompy: Was that a slight breeze I just felt?
Bowser: Okay, I think that’s about enough of feeling the wrath of the MIGHTY KING BO.-
Koopa 13: All right, all right!
Lemmy: You see why he’s the king now?
G.G: I think it’s best not to question the Koopa anarchy. Now who are we-
Petey Piranha: Uaaaaaaaaaaagh
(Petey throws up sludge on the G.G. Crew.)
G.G: Ew.
Koopa 13: Ugh! I just came back from a long break and I already suffer from this.
Lemmy: Since you guys have been bragging about being in Brawl, I brought this guy in.
G.G: Oh goody, a plant with a stomach flu, just what I need. Why do you have sludge inside you belly anyway?
Petey: Well you know how plants flourish with water? Well I flourish with crud and sludge.
Koopa 13: That’s impossible!
Petey Piranaha: Dude, this is the Mushroom Kingdom. There are Bloopers that can live on land, and a lot more in what this Mushroom Kingdom has to offer.
Koopa 13: Good point! How in the world can you stand on legs, unlike other Piranha Plants?
Petey: Well I am a species of plant that is very rare around these parts. There are a couple more like me but there rarely seen.
Chompy: Bark bark?
G.G: He says why do you wear those stupid-looking Speedos?
Petey: They’re not Speedos, they’re just regular pants.
G.G: No, those look like Speedos to me.
Petey: They’re pants
(G.G. rips off Wario’s pants.)
G.G: See, these are-
Wario: Give Wario back his pants!
(He sits on G.G. and passes gas on him.)
Wario: *sniff* Wooo.
G.G: … Waaaaaaahhhhh! What did I do to deserve this?~
(After several months of therapy…)
G.G: Ok, now how is it that you keep getting killed in a bunch of games but still manage to come back?
Petey: Well whenever I get defeated I usually revert to a sprout and use the ground dirt to help me revive myself
Koopa 13: Are you of any close relation to Dino Piranha? I mean, you guys look similar.
Petey: Yeah, he is actually my cousin, or rather, a distant cousin, bwahahahahahahaha!
(Crickets chirp.)
Petey: You know, because he lives in space.
Audience Member: You stink!
G.G: Now if you’re done with your stupid jokes, can we please get back to this?
Chompy: Bark Bark!
G.G: He says, why are you able to fly?
Petey: Easy, my hands are aerodynamic.
G.G: Who do you think you are, Peter Pan?
Petey Piranha: No, I am just a special, incredible, and rare Piranha Plant that was born with these abilities.
Koopa 13: Yeah, just imagine if I was a Koopa that could do all those special things. Too bad my life was spent working for you know who. Anyway, why all of a sudden have you been appearing in Mario crossovers?
Petey: Well because I was such a popular and fun boss in Sunshine, they requested for me to be in the game. That’s the same reason I was in Brawl.
G.G: Hey wait. Now that I think about it, how are you suddenly talking all of a sudden?
Petey: Well- uaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh.
(Petey throws up mud on the G.G. Crew again.)
G.G: Thank you for throwing up on me like that. Now then, let’s move on to the audience questions.
Goomba: How come you were working for the Shroobs in Partners in Time?
Petey: I dunno, just felt like it?
G.G: Seat 7.
Blooper: How come you don’t like water?
Petey: It’s not that I don’t like it, but I can only retain so much seeing as how I live off sludge and all.
G.G: You are the sorriest excuse for a plant I have ever seen.
Petey: Why thank you.
G.G: That wasn’t a compliment.
Petey: Why thank you.
G.G: You’re an idiot.
Petey: Why thank you.
G.G: You know what? Forget it, you’re no fun to put down. Seat 98.
Shy Guy: Why did you team up with King Boo in Double Dash?
Petey: Well they needed to pair me up with another guy since it was a two-man racing game, so they kind of just picked him. Personally I would have liked being with Peach a lot more.
Peach: You tried to eat me, you nasty thing!
Petey: I love you too, Peach
G.G: Seat 22.
Hammer Bro: Following that first question, you say you helped the Shroobs because you felt like it, but don’t you work for Bowser?
Petey: Actually I only help out the bad guys that I feel like helping out, sometimes Bowser, sometimes the Shroobs or the Subspace Emissary. You know, whoever looks like my kind of people.
G.G: So basically you just follow the crowd like a nerdy little trend follower?
Petey: If you’re going to put it like that, then yes.
G.G: So if Bowser or the Shroobs were to jump off a cliff, you would too?
Petey: THEY JUMPED OF A CLIFF? I WANNA GO TOO!!!
(Petey rushes out of the studio.)
G.G: You think he will actually do it?
Petey: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
(A splat noise can be heard in the background)
G.G: I’ll take that as a yes. END TRANSMISSION.
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