(In General Toad's meeting room, MagiBoo, Doopliss Guy, and Snift are lined up against the wall. General Toad is pacing back and forth.)
General Toad: ...And further more, it is NOT a good thing to let any part of the building cave in! Are you three even listening?
(MagiBoo seems to be daydreaming, Doopliss Guy obviously is as a little snot bubble is inflating and deflating from his mask's mouth hole, and Snift is drawing on a pad of paper.)
GT: *sigh* Why do I bother? Well, as Snift already knows, I have decided on a new cameraman! Lakiblizzard, get in here!
(A Lakitu with a white shell and wearing a white Santa hat, and whose cloud is light-blue with large glasses, floats in.)
Lakiblizzard: Whoooosh! I appear!
GT: Yes yes, don't get foolish. Ok, today someone's going to interview Tutankoopa. Any takers?
(MagiBoo is now laughing about something only he must be able to hear, Doopliss Guy has fallen to the floor, and Snift is angrily balling up a piece of paper.)
GT: *sigh* Well GT, as the saying goes, if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. Lakiblizzard, let’s go!
(GT and Lakiblizzard exit.)
Snift: Ok guys, good job! Now, let’s go get snowcones!
(MagiBoo snaps out of his trance and Doopliss Guy pops up.)
MagiBoo: Let's go!
(The three also exit.)
Later that night...
General Toad: Hello, audience, and welcome to yet another segment of General Toad's Interview Show! Tonight we'll be interviewing Lakiblizzard!
(An Army Toad holding a pad of paper runs out onto the stage.)
Army Toad: Sir! Did you forget your lines?
GT: Actually I didn't, but I'm tired of the silly intros you write! You’re fired.
Army Toad: Who do you think you are, Donald Trump?
(GT punts Army Toad off the stage. Tutankoopa walks out.)
Tutankoopa: Whoooooosh! I appear!
GT: Is this a new fad or something? Ok, that's beside the point. First question, what are your stats in Paper Mario?
Tutankoopa: 30 HP, 3 Attack, and no Defense.
GT: Heh, I bet if I was in Paper Mario I would have more. I would totally be a final boss!
(Another Army Toad walks onto the stage. This one is holding a large book entitled "Know Your Baddies".)
Army Toad: Ummm, sir, you’re considered a good guy. You'd be a supporting character.
GT: WHAT?! Preposterous! Well... you’re fired.
Army Toad: Eh?
(GT punts Army Toad off the stage.)
GT: Anyways, what kind of Koopa are you?
Tutankoopa: Well, I'm obviously a Magikoopa considering I can use-
(The lights dim and blue, red, and yellow spotlights appear on Tutankoopa.)
Tutankoopa: MAGIC!
(The lights return to normal.)
GT: Ok, seriously, who did that?
(The Army Toads staffing the studio all look at each other.)
GT: *sigh* Never mind. Now, is the Chain Chomp on your crown alive? I ask this because when Mario attacks you, it seems to change expression.
Tutankoopa: Actually, it's not. I animated it using my-
(The lights dim and blue, red, and yellow spotlights appear on Tutankoopa.)
Tutankoopa: MAGIC!
(The lights return to normal.)
GT: Ok, HONESTLY! Fess up!
(All the Army Toads look at each other.)
Lakiblizzard: Actually, it was me. I'm actually using the lighting panel right now.
GT: Then who's working the camera?!
Lakiblizzard: I had Snift rewire it so that I can control it via joystick from the lighting panel… which I guess could be called the studio effects booth now.
GT: Cool, I'm really liking the improvements being made! Anyways, how can you break yourself apart into separate bits at will?
Tutankoopa: Well, it's a complex art mastered by ancient magician kings of the desert to be like the shifting sands, but to put it simply, it's just another form of-
(The lights dim and the blue, red, and yellow spotlights come on.)
Tutankoopa: MAGIC!
GT: Heh, I really like that! Now then, are you really king of the desert?
Tutankoopa: Well, technically. The actual rulers of the Dry Dry desert perished years ago. When I discovered them, I thought they would be the perfect place for my kingdom!
GT: Hmmm. Why are you allied with Bowser?
Tutankoopa: He promised that he would send subjects to the Dry Dry Desert to help me establish my kingdom.
GT: Why did one of your Chain Chomps attack you after Mario beat you?
Tutankoopa: I think I forgot to feed it...
GT: Think?
Tutankoopa: Yeah. I think. With my brain.
(An Army Toad wearing a medic uniform runs onto the stage.)
Army Toad: Sir! A brain is the center of the nervous system-
GT: Fired!
(GT punts Army Toad off the stage. Suddenly, Donald Trump appears onstage.)
Donald: You trying to imitate me?
GT: Ummmm, no?
Donald: Prepare to be fired… from life!
(Donald jumps at GT. They get into a big cloud fight.)
Lakiblizzard: Ummmm, k. I guess I'll takeover. How can you throw your voice all over the Dry Dry Ruins?
(The lights dim, and the spotlights come on.)
Tutankoopa: MAGIC!
(The lights go back to normal.)
Tutankoopa: How'd you know I was going to say that?
Lakiblizzard: I have a center of the nervous system. What did you do before you discovered the Dry Dry Ruins?
Tutankoopa: I was an EVIL KOOPA WIZARD-
(Wizardheimer jumps out of the audience.)
Wizardheimer: But I'm an EVIL KOOPA WIZARD!
Tutankoopa: Silence, Wisecraker!
Wizardheimer: That's WIZARDHEIM-
(General Toad and Donald Trump's cloud fight collides with Wizardheimer, sending him flying into a wall.)
Wizardheimer: Er...
Lakiblizzard: Ok, seriously.
(Lakiblizzard gulps in some air, and sends a freezing blast out at the Donald. He's frozen solid.)
GT: Whew! I was really showing him what's what, you know! No need to intervene! I AM a general, after all!
Lakiblizzard: Right...
Tutankoopa: Anyways, like I was saying, before I worked for Bowser, I was an evil Koopa wizard who terrorized travelers of the Dry Dry Desert.
GT: Ok then, time for audience questions! Seat 53!
...
GT: Oh, that was Wisenwhatever's seat.
Wizardheimer: It's WIZARDHEIM-
(Wizardheimer turns to sand.)
GT: Woah! Did you do that?
Tutankoopa: Yep, I did it with-
(The lights dim and the spotlights come on.)
Tutankoopa: MAGIC!
(The lights return to normal.)
GT: Seat 78!
Pokey: What did you do after Mario beat you?
Tutankoopa: Well, for awhile I was trying to get Chompie to stop chasing me! But then, he saw a Koopa wearing an egg and decided he was more appetizing. After that, I returned to the Dry Dry Ruins.
GT: Seat 64!
Baseball Boy: What's up with your eyes, man? They're like, totally different then other Magikoopas.
Tutankoopa: Well, that may be because I actually have good vision and don't need glasses! But if you’re referring to the black around my eyes, that's to cut down on the glare of the desert sun.
GT: Seat 12!
Fly Guy: How did you get inside the Dry Dry Ruins before they were uncovered?
Tutankoopa: Uncovered? There must have been a sandstorm after I got in! Either way, I could have just teleported in using-
(The lights dim. The spotlights come on.)
Tutankoopa: MAGIC!
(Suddenly, there's a fizzle and sparks fly from the ceiling. The spotlights that had been creating the beams fall off the ceiling and crush Tutankoopa.)
GT: Darn! The interviewee got crushed! Ah well, this is General Toad saying END TRANSMISSION!
Whoops! You're not logged in! |