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DOOPLISS GUY interviews BIG GUY THE STILTED
 
By General Toad

(General Toad, MagiBoo, Doopliss Guy, and Snift are sitting in General Toad's meeting room.)

General Toad: All right guys, it looks like I've narrowed down the candidates for the cameraman spot down to five people. Snift, I'm going to need your input on this, considering you seem to be all for "Cameraman Rights".

Snift: Whoot!

Doopliss Guy: What are we going to do?

GT: Well, it looks like it's your turn to interview again. MagiBoo can handle the camera until we hire someone fulltime.

DG: Who am I even interviewing?

GT: I keep a ticker board displaying it...

DG: Since when?

GT: Since it was on sale yesterday.

Doopliss Guy looks around the room until he spots the colorful ticker board. The dots arrange themselves to display: "Current Interviewer: Doopliss Guy Current Interviewee: Big Guy the Stilted."

DG: Oh, I interview a giant robot ONCE and now you expect-

GT: Riiiight. C'mon Snift.

(GT and Snift get up and leave.)

MagiBoo: *sigh* Let’s get cracking....

Later that night...

Doopliss Guy: Welcome, everyone, to General Toad's Interview Show! Tonight I, Doopliss Guy, will be interviewing that giant mechanical Shy Guy...

MagiBoo: C'mon, we're rolling!

Doopliss Guy: How on Plit is he going to fit in the studio?!

In a different room...

Snift: Ok, he's out for smelling like mayo. Next is... What's wrong?

GT: I feel like I've made a terrible mistake.

Back in the studio...

(A large foot plunges through the wall, followed by a giant metal pole. With that, Big Guy the Stilted bursts through the side wall.)

Voice from above: OH FOR THE LOVE OF PLIT!

MagiBoo: Looks like GT realized the flaw in his plan...

DG: Ah Shrooms... Oh well, I'll worry about that after. Ok, so Big Guy the Stilted... Nah, I'll just call you BGS. First off, am I really talking to you or are your controllers talking for you?

Big Guy the Stilted: We're his controllers, but we like to think of ourselves as the spirit of Big Guy the Stilted!

DG: Ah, that's pretty creepy... So, first off, who made you?

BGtS: Big Guy the Stilted is a product of Shy Guy Technologies. He was created by top Shy Guy engineers working with the Koopa Troop.

DG: Huh. So considering you were first fought when Mario was a baby, I can assume that this isn't the same Big Guy the Stilted?

BGtS: Of course we're... I'm... not the original! The babies and Yoshis dumped the first model in lava!

DG: So, why did the Shy Guys choose to make a large robot over a living Shy Guy?

BGtS: Well, we based it on two phrases. First, bigger is better. Second, two (or more!) heads are better then one. See our logic?

DG: Sure. Why are you gray when Yoshi finds you?

BStG: We weren’t active at the time. Kamek's magic gave power, and we were able to fight.

DG: You know, it's really confusing talking to you about someone else who is multiple persons. Can one of you come out here?

BGtS: Of course.

(A Shy Guy jumps out of one of Big Guy the Stilted's eyeholes.)

DG: That's better. That also brings me to another question. When Blue Yoshi fought him, why did Shy Guys jump out of Big Guy the Stilted?

Shy Guy: Those were that attack guys! Their goal was to lure the Yoshi into a position where the controllers could squish him.

DG: Ok, this is a more general question. Why do Shy Guys make sound when jumping out of things?

Shy Guy: For two reasons. First, to try to scare opponents. Second, it's an involuntary sound we make when we jump.

DG: Right. I knew that. 'Cuz I'm a Shy Guy. I don't have many more questions about BGS, so I'll ask a simple one. What games was he in?

Shy Guy: Yoshi's Island DS.

DG: Ok, audience questions! Seat 64!

Larry: Why was this Big Guy the Stilted made?

Shy Guy: This version was created so we could take revenge on the Yoshis for taking the lives of the Shy Guy Controllers that day! Unfortunately, we haven’t gotten around to it yet.

DG: Seat 31!

Blooper: In Big Guy the Stilted's castle, Shy Guys are seen doing all kinds of things. What is your castle?

Shy Guy: The castle was Fort Shy Guy, Yoshi's Island branch. There, Shy Guys are taught the basics of being a Shy Guy minion. Many Shy Guys lived there. Shy Guy Tech owned part of the castle there, which is where the original Big Guy the Stilted was built.

DG: Yep! That's where my grandfather lived! Seat 99!

Lakitu: What was the first Big Guy the Stilted made of, and what is this one made of?

Shy Guy: Well, what are all robots made of? Metal of course!

(Suddenly, the main door opens. A group of Yoshi tourists, led by a Bumpty tour guide, walk in.)

Tour Guide: And here is General Toad's Interview Studio, where General Toad, the Mushroom Kingdom's greatest general, performs many Interviews with well known people.

Shy Guy: IT'S THE YOSHIS! They've come to get us! Man the controls!

(Shy Guy jumps back in Big Guy the Stilted.)

BGtS: REVENGE IS NOW!

DG: Awwww no! Things were going good!

MagiBoo: Let’s just go get a Chuckola Cola down at the restaurant.

DG: Mmmk...

(MagiBoo and Doopliss Guy leave. Big Guy the stilted charges at the Yoshi group, squishing almost all the audience in its path. The remaining audience runs away.)

Audience: We're running away!

(Evidently hearing all the noise, General Toad and Snift burst in through a door on the stage, only to see the studio deserted and in shambles. General Toad calmly walks down the rows of seats.)

GT: To think I left them alone again.

Snift: Sir?

GT: End Transmission.

(Snift walks over and turns off the camera, a fraction of a second before the wall finally caves in.)

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