(Joshua is still in the hospital with his crushed lung… and he’s getting sick of it.)
Joshua: I’m sick of this place!
(Told ya.)
Shadow Queen: Yeah, but what are you going to do about it?
Joshua: … Idea! Leave Peach’s body.
SQ: … Why…?
Joshua: DO IT!
SQ: NEVAH!
(Joshua brandishes his wand and casts an exorcism spell on the Shadow Queen, forcibly removing her from Peach.)
SQ: Put me back… NOW!
(She sends out a wave of dark energy, killing every patient in the ward except Joshua for some strange reason.)
Joshua: One sec. Peach, use Therapy on me!
Peach: … No. You kidnapped me and had me possessed by that demon again!
Joshua: You’re right, I’m sorry… NOT! I suppose we have to do this the hard way…
(He pulls out a Wii remote and connects it to a Classic Controller. He then makes Peach use Therapy on him, healing his injuries. Since he does a Timed Hit, he spins around and gives the peace sign.)
Joshua: Much better. All yours.
(The Shadow Queen possesses Peach again. A black Boo floats into the ward, and notices all the corpses.)
Joshua: He knows too much!
(Joshua attacks the black Boo, but he turns intangible and Joshua smashes into a wall.)
Joshua: Ow.
Black Boo: …? Ooookay... Why did he just do that?
SQ: He’s just sick of being here.
BB: Really? I hadn’t noticed.
(He points to the top of the page.)
SQ: ... Shut up.
BB: ANYWAY, I’m a fan, and wanted to actually do an Interview with you.
SQ: Really? I have a FAN?! Eeeeeeee!!!
BB: Not you! Joshua!
Joshua: Great. Another pair-up with a ghost... Fine. Who are we interviewing?
BB: Dunno. Honestly, I didn’t think I’d get this far without getting toasted.
Joshua: Well this won’t do. Honey?
SQ: Yes dear.
(She charges up a massive ball of energy.)
BB: 0.0 W-w-w-w-w-w-w-ait!!!
(SQ throws the energy ball.)
BB: GAH! TELEPORT!!!
(He warps to Sarasaland, Daisy’s castle in particular. The energy ball hits the doctor that would’ve given Joshua his bill.)
Joshua: Oh well. Works for me.
Meanwhile...
Daisy: Who are you supposed to be? A bowling ball? GET OUT!
BB: Oh... This should do nicely...
(BB charges at Daisy, turning intangible as he tries to possess her. However, he uses the wrong type of intangibility, and winds up in her stomach.)
BB: Geez! Cake, chips, soda; she needs to eat better! GAH! THIS STOMACH ACID FEELS LIKE DYING! Wait, I’m dead... How does that work?
Daisy: Ooog... I don’t feel so good...
BB: Aw CRUD!
(She pukes, BB going along with it.)
BB: One more time!
He charges her again, this time successfully possessing her. Daisy looks similar to the SQ Peach, but more... Daisy-ish. BB teleports back to the studio... er, hospital.
Joshua: What the?!
(BB emerges from Daisy.)
BB: There. Instant interviewee. HAPPY?! Cuz you have no idea what I went through to get her here.
(Joshua looks up the page.)
Joshua: Yeah, I got a pretty good idea.
SQ: … I can see we’ll be breaking the fourth wall a lot in this Interview…
Joshua: Eh, I’m used to it. Now, BEGIN TEH INTERVIEW!
SQ: … No cameras.
BB: Or are there…?
(He gets a shifty look in his eyes.)
Joshua: Haven’t you ever used GooglePlit?! You can see EVERYWHERE, including this hospital! So, blah-blah-blah, welcome. Daisy…
Daisy: At what point did I agree to this?
Joshua: You didn’t. But you have no choice. So, are you and Luigi together?
Daisy: Would YOU date him?
Joshua: Don’t answer my question with a question! Answer it with an answer!
Daisy: … No. Those rumors are completely unfounded.
Joshua: That’s not what these pictures suggest!
(He waves some photographs in the air. Daisy takes one.)
Daisy: … This is a photo of you on a rollercoaster.
Joshua: … For my first attempt at blackmail, it could’ve gone a lot worse.
BB: At least you didn’t get arrested.
Joshua: Don’t even joke about that! I am NOT going back to the joint again!
BB: … Oookayy… What exactly do you do in Sarasaland?
Daisy: Duh! Impose crippling taxes, enforce ridiculous laws, and send people to dungeons!
BB: … I am never moving there.
Joshua: Agreed. But you never get kidnapped?
(Daisy flexes her biceps.)
Daisy: No one’s been able to. I was a stunt double for Peach in the Smash Bros. series!
Joshua: What about Tatanga?
Daisy: He hypnotized my guards, and then me, into walking into a cage.
BB: That reminds me, didn’t you kiss Mario at the end of Super Mario Land?
Daisy: I was still sort of under hypnosis at that point. Tatanga used me to distract Mario for a little longer, to buy more time for Wario.
Joshua: Pathetic excuse.
BB: Admit it. You like him.
Daisy: I do not!
BB: Do too.
Daisy: Do not!
BB: Do too.
(Daisy punches BB in the face.)
BB: I’m bleeding... Wait, I’m a ghost!
Joshua: See, this is why I hate working with ghosts. They constantly get distracted.
BB: Shut up. So... How on Plit do you race your baby self in Mario Kart Wii without destroying the space-time continuum?
Daisy: No clue.
Joshua’s Author: No clue? What kind of an answer is that?
Black Boo’s Author: Shut up.
(The fourth wall of the hospital explodes.)
SQ: See?
Joshua: I have surprisingly few lines in this Interview.
BB: That’s cuz it’s my turn to write.
Joshua: GIVE
Joshua: ME
Joshua: MORE
Joshua: LINES!
BB: Just did.
Joshua: Thank you. So Daisy, you seemed awfully squeaky as a baby.
Daisy: So?
BB: DarkZero thought it was amusing.
Joshua and Daisy: WHO?
(A black and purple Groove Guy with red eyes comes in.)
DarkZero: Me.
BB: Go away. Want the cake?
DZ: YEAH!
BB: Go get it!
(BB punches DZ out the window.)
BB: Don’t ask.
Daisy: He’s right. You do get distracted.
BB: Can it, Squeaky.
(Daisy punches BB in the face again.)
BB: My face! Wait, why didn’t I just turn intangible?
Joshua: ‘Cause you’re dumb?
BB: Sure, that works.
Joshua: What’s with your crystal power in Mario Strikers Charged?
Daisy: Would you rather it have been flower-related?
Joshua: It would’ve made more sense…
Daisy: Good point. Sarasaland is very rich in minerals, so my power reflected that.
BB: You have no respect for the game of soccer! You PUNCHED the ball in your Megastrike!
Daisy: … Is that a question?
Joshua: Probably not. But, answer him anyway.
Daisy: Apart from the fact that to score points, the ball had to enter the goal, how exactly did either of the Mario Strikers games show respect for soccer?
Joshua: … *thinks* They didn’t, really…
Daisy: Anyway, my arms are stronger than my legs.
(She flexes.)
Joshua: … In my Interview with Peach, she claimed you were cousins? Is that true?
Daisy: Yes. Unfortunately.
Joshua: … Works for me. Audience time!
SQ: … What audience?
Joshua: … Oh. BB! You got the interviewee, now get me an audience!
BB: Make me.
Joshua: Dear?
(SQ charges up another energy ball.)
BB: Oh yeah?
(BB pulls out a Wiimote and grabs SQ like a Mii to stop the energy ball.)
BB: Nyah hah!
(Daisy punches him in the face again.)
BB: Dang it. Fine.
(He teleports off, and shortly returns with several hundred Toads, Koopas, and Goombas all bound and gagged.)
Joshua: Wow, you work fast.
(BB waves his hand and the gags disappear.)
BB: See? I’m awesome.
Joshua: (Only in your world.)
BB: SHUT UP!
Joshua: Anyway, AUDIENCE TIME!
BB: Cheer or all the bombs on your backs go off.
Audience: Yaaaay...
BB: ... Eh. It works.
Joshua: Seat-
BB: HEY! I got them, I get to call the first seat! Seat 24!
Toadofsky: What is your favorite music?
Daisy: None by you, that’s for sure.
Joshua: Seat 33 1/3!
Goombario: Why is your kingdom called Sarasaland? It’s stupid!
Daisy: May I?
BB: I’d be insulted if you didn’t.
(BB hands Daisy a remote. She presses the button “33 1/3” and Goombario explodes.)
Joshua: He wasn’t kidding!
BB: I’m just that evil. *thunder crash*
Joshua: Okay, now you’re creeping me out more than Jeff. And he’s pretty dang creepy.
BB: I betcha 100 red coins he’s taken over your studio by now.
Joshua: Of course he has! His ultimate goal is world domination, genius!
BB: 0_0
(A Koopa with a pizza box in his hand enters the ward.)
Pizza Delivery Koopa: I have a large pepperoni here for a Black Boo?
Joshua: YOU ORDERED PIZZA?! TO A HOSPITAL?! IN THE MIDDLE OF THE INTERVIEW?! *thunder crash*
SQ: Where does that keep coming from?
BB: Yep. And it’s been 31 minutes, that pizza is FREE!
(He eats it in one bite.)
Joshua: Impressive. But can you do THIS?!
(He eats the Delivery Koopa in one bite.)
BB: 0_0 You are IN-SANE!
Joshua: I know :) Now, you, random guy who somehow came back to life!
SQ: That could be any Mario villain.
Joshua: Oh. Seat 9.
Tutankoopa: Since you’re such a tomboy, why did you and Peach use hearts as your special weapon in Mario Kart: Double Dash?
Daisy: Nintendo made us, since we’re princesses, and it would be in keeping with the stereotype.
Tutankoopa: And you have a boat, right?
Daisy: Yeah, the Daisy Cruiser. I bought it by raising taxes in Sarasaland.
Joshua: Raising taxes, just for your own selfish needs? Genius!
SQ: Honey, he asked two questions. Should I obliterate him?
Joshua: … She’s right! By all means.
(SQ uses Dead Hands to pull the screaming Tutankoopa into the shadows. He is never heard from again.)
BB: Why not just blow him up?
SQ: More fun.
Joshua: Well, that’s all, I think. End Transmission. BB, give me that remote for a sec.
(He does so.)
Joshua: DUCK AND COVER!!
(He, Daisy, BB, and SQ jump under his bed. Joshua then pushes all the buttons on the remote, causing all the audience members to explode and taking the ward with them. Miraculously, Joshua’s bed and the cameras are the only things left standing.)
Joshua: (looking at the camera): So remember, kids. Duck. And cover. Now for you…
BB: Ha! You think I’m afraid of you?
Joshua: No. But you’re about to be.
(Seventeen seconds later, BB is flying towards space.)
BB: That was one powerful punch! Oh, right. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Joshua: Ah, music to my ears. Let’s get out of here.
(He and SQ climb in his Batmobile, and they drive back to Joshua’s studio.)
Daisy: … Now what do I do…?
(Two Piantas walk by and see the destruction, with Daisy standing in the middle of it. Unfortunately for Daisy, they’re on the local police force.)
Daisy: Oh no.
(END TRANSMISSION)
BB: I SHALL RETURN NEXT INERVIEW!!!
(He hits an asteroid and is sent back to Plit, right in front of Joshua’s studio.)
BB: Told ya.
Joshua: … This should be interesting…
(THE END?)
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