Phantos67: YES! IT’S FINISHED! Ha ha! My own castle.
G Bloop: It looks ok, I guess.
Phantos67: You guess?! This is the best castle ever! Equipped with the latest security! It has a hot tub, interview studio, twenty rooms, and even our own star cruiser, which is equipped with a lot of stuff too! What is there not to like? It’s perfect!
Wacko: I love it! If anybody wants me I’ll be in the hot tub!
Phantos67: HOLD IT! First things first, we get everything ready for our first Interview in the Phantos67 Castle!
The Rest of the Crew: Awww man…
Thud: HOW WE AFFORD CASTLE?
Phantos67: You know that Beanstar we captured a while back? Well I used it to wish for all the stuff we wanted! We can save the money we earn from Interviews for our personal lives!
G Bloop: You have a personal life?!
Phantos67: Very funny, G Bloop. LET’S MOVE IT, PEOPLE!
(Everybody walks into the Phantos67 Castle and has a seat in the enormous stadium that is being used as an interview studio.)
Thud: WHO WE INTERVIEW, AND HOW?
Phantos67: I’m glad you asked! This contraption teleports the interviewees from wherever or whatever time they are in! So G Bloop, escorting the guests is not needed. You are out of a job in that department. We will need to find you a new job.
G Bloop: Oh. Um… Ok.
Wacko: Can we get this over with so I can go get in the hot tub?
G Bloop: WILL YOU FORGET ABOUT THE DUMB HOT TUB?!
Wacko: Don’t insult the great tub of laziness and relaxation!!!
Phantos67: Whatever. The audience is being seated. In twenty minutes the show will start, then you will find out who we will be interviewing. Also for the audience questions, instead of calling out numbers we will be calling out characteristics of the audience.
Wacko: Huh?
Phantos67: Wait ‘til the audience questions.
(Twenty minutes later…)
Phantos67: We need a cameraman! Somebody fill in. Wait a second… G BLOOP! Perfect. G Bloop, you are the cameraman- I mean the camerawoman.
G Bloop: Ok. You’re on in 4… 3… 2… 1!
Phantos67: Hello, and welcome to the-
Lemmy: LEMMY’S INTERVIEW SHOW!
Wacko: Here we go again.
Phantos67: ACTIVATE VAPORIZER!
(A machine comes out of the wall and shoots a laser that vaporizes Lemmy.)
Phantos67: Welcome to the sixth episode of the Phantos67 Interview Show! Coming live from the newly built Phantos67 Castle! Last time we interviewed Fryguy; that’s pretty much all that happened. Nobody joined the crew or anything like that. This time we are interviewing the one… the only… the damsel who’s always in distress… PRINCESS PEACH!
(Princess Peach is teleported into the studio. She looks around confused.)
Phantos67: Hello Peach! I am Phantos67, and I will be interviewing you today.
Peach: Well... I don’t want to be interviewed.
Phantos67: Oh really? Ahem… Security.
(Thud slams next to Princess Peach and growls.)
Peach: Eep!
Phantos67: So Princess, what games are you in?
Peach: I first appeared in Super Mario Brothers, but I’ve appeaed in almost every single Mario game since then.
Phantos67: Neat. Question number 2: How is it like being kidnapped by Bowser (or somebody else) in almost every single game?
Peach: It’s getting really old. I wish the plot would get better.
Phantos67: No kidding. Wacko, ask her a question.
Wacko: Do you have feelings for Mario? If so, why aren’t you two married?
Peach: Well I do really like him. As for the second question, he has never proposed to me.
Phantos67: Q4: How do you feel about Princess Daisy?
Peach: Well… we are not enemies, but we are kind of distant from each other.
Phantos67: In what way?
Peach: Mario, a few arguments, our hair color... Some other things too.
Phantos67: Oh. Next question! How is it like to have the Secret Mushroom Police always watching you everywhere you go?
Peach: It gets kind of annoying sometimes, but they are here to protect me.
Wacko: They haven’t been doing a perfect job lately.
Peach: Yeah, I try to let those things slide. They haven’t once protected me in my time of need though, only Mario has. *sigh* He is always there for me.
(Hearts appear in Peach’s eyes.)
Phantos67: Ok, this is creeping me out. HAMMER OF REALITY!
(A tiny hammer lightly bonks Peach on the head and the hearts disappear.)
Phantos67: Phew. AUDIENCE QUESTIONS! Seat, KARATE MASTER THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT!
The Master: Do you take any martial arts?
Peach: Yes, I have taken karate for four years, but it hasn’t come in handy too much.
The Master: I think Phantos67 is puny. He needs to become my apprentice and learn something.
Phantos67: I DO NOT NEED TO BECOME YOUR ANYTHING!
(This scene is taken out do to extreme violence.)
The Master: Help… me… That hurt.
Phantos67: NOW TO FINISH YOU OFF! THUD, DO YOUR THING! ALSO, SEAT SCAREDY-CAT, ASK PEACH A QUESTION!
(Thud squashes “The Master” into a pancake.)
Luigi: Peach? Do you have feelings for me?
Peach: Um...
Phantos67: So nobody gets their feelings hurt (not that we care anyways), we will skip that question.
Luigi: But-
Phantos67: NO BUTS ABOUT IT! THUD!
Thud: THUD HATE LUIGI! HE SAY BUT!
(Guess what happens.)
Luigi: I seem very flat for some reason.
Phantos67: Next question, seat BLUE-HAIRED IDIOT!
Larry: Where is Perry from the game Super Princess Peach?
Peach: That talking umbrella? Oh, I kind of left Perry on Vibe Island and never heard from her again.
Phantos67: TIME FOR PHONE QUESTIONS! Our number is *uses telepathy to put the number into peoples’ minds all over the world* what you just heard in your brain. So go ahead and call if you have a question for Peach.
Somewhere far away from the studio...
Koopa Troopa: Huh? I just heard a phone number in my brain! Cool!
(Back to the Interview…)
(RING RING!)
Phantos67: Hello, Phantos67 speaking. What is your question?
Billy: Hello, I’m from the planet Earth. May I ask a question?
Phantos67: An Earthling? Cool, go ahead.
Billy: Have you been to Earth before, Peach?
Peach: Yes, many times actually.
Billy: In the games?
Peach: No, the Mario cartoon series, if you count that.
Phantos67: I don’t count it as one.
Peach: Well, it happened!
Phantos67: Incoming call, Trilly! Gotta go!
Wacko: His name is Billy, not Trilly.
Phantos67: That’s what I said, Billy. Hello, Phantos67 speaking. What do you want?
Spiked Goomba: Do you like racing in Mario Kart games, Peach?
Peach: Of course I do! I am in every single game. I love the feel of beating everybody in a race.
Yoshi: Peach no beat Yoshi.
Peach: Yes I did.
Yoshi: No you-
Phantos67: ENOUGH! Ok, I’m afraid that’s all the time we have for today.
Wacko: I’m getting in the hot tub!
G Bloop: So am I.
Thud: THUD GO TOO.
Phantos67: Yeah, so am I. Bye, Peach!
Peach: What do you mea- AAAAUGH!
(Peach is teleported back to where she was before, wherever that is.)
Wacko in the hot tub: END TRANSMISSION!
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