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CRYSTAL KING JR. interviews BARON BRR
 
By Crystal King Jr

(A little, invisible man walks in the distance. He’s made of a robe, a crown, and a pair of eyes.)

Crystal King Jr: Hmm, I need a companion for my plan.

Figure behind him: Hi, I can help you in your intentions

(The figure is darkened, and has a coffin-like object strapped to its body.)

Figure: Now to take off this coffin-shaped training weight!

CKJ: …

(The figure reveals itself to be… a Toad with blue spots carrying twins of the same color!)

Toad: I’m Fros T, and this is Termi N. T. (the girl) and Mikt T. (the boy).

CKJ: … You joining me?

Toad: Yes! I’m coming with you

CKJ: Okay then….

(Crystal Jr. snaps his fingers. The barren wasteland they are in suddenly becomes a studio!)

Fros: … Is this your plan?

CKJ: Yes! Now let’s start! First up! Baron Brr from Mario Galaxy!

Baron: Hi.

CKJ: So, what exactly are you?

Baron Brr: I’m a pinecone from the 1200s-

Mikt and Termi: (whispering) Old. Hehehe.

Baron: Heard that. Anyways, I grew to amazing size and was cryogenically frozen. Then the research lab was leaking nuclear waste that flowed into my body, allowing me to live!

CKJ: Boring. Anyways, your whole body is soft and vulnerable to attack. Why is that?

Baron Brr: Because the spin attack was new and Bowser had put on defenses for everything but that!

CKJ: Why are you even in his army?

Baron Brr: Because I defy the laws of nature in two ways.

CKJ: And those would be?

Baron: First, I’m a mutated frozen giant pinecone.

CKJ: And the other?

(Scary music plays.)

Baron Brr: I’m a baroness.

(DUN DUN DUN!)

Everyone: O.o

CKJ: Yay, I’m traumatized for life now.

Fros: Audience questions now! Seat IMSOSTUPIDIRUINALLMYGROUPSPLANS.

Black Koopa Bro: Long name. Anyways, how do you shoot ice particles?

(Baron Brr tilts her head. Everyone can see a cannon inside his head.)

BKB: Oh.

Fros: Next! Seat ISPEAKLEET.

1337 Br0s: y3a4, us! Anyways, why d0 y0u hav3 m1n10ns, l1k3 th0s3 ic3 ba11s?

Baroness Brr: Because the ice region originally belonged to me.

CKJ: We’re done! End transmission!

(Transmission Ended)

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