Endark: Good morning, past, present, and future buffoons. It's nice to see that you've tuned in this week to watch Fireball and that goofball WT interview some character from Mario's past, but it seems that we've hit a snag or two. Mainly, we didn't have a guest this week... until a few minutes ago, that is. Inspired by an old Interview from the legendary Dark Koopa, in which he interviewed Thumbs on the topic of Lakitus in general, I have graciously volunteered to give away some valuable information on my species.
Amadeus: Graciously? I had to loan you the first twenty volumes of Bleach just for you to CONSIDER the option!
Endark: ... You JUST got over your grudge against Fireball. Don't make me give you a brand new reason for leaving the show. Now, for those in the audience that don't know, I'm a Shaman. Thusly, I would expect many questions on our history and the mystery of magic... if this was anybody other than Fireball. So, I'm prepared for any question humanly, and inhumanly, possible. Bring it on, Yoshi boy!
Fireball: Let's just get this over with so you can go to your stupid bookstore or whatever you do... But first! This is brought to you by Super Mario 64 DS! The game where you can be fast, wimpy, a hero man, and/or fat! Also brought to you by Wario's Pizza! If it's not cooked right, it's supposed to taste that way.
Wario: I run a pizza place?
Fireball: Seems like it, it's even bigger than... than... some other things!
Waluigi: You sponsor places!
Fireball: I do?
Waluigi: Yeah!
Fireball: Just let me interview Endark and get this over with... About Shamans!
Mario: The sadness!
Fireball: First question, when Mallow uses Psychopath, it says "I'm losing this fight!" What's up with that...? Maybe that Shaman is winning.
Endark: Well, look at the situation. A character that's spent most of his or her life working in shadows and casting magic from the darkness is now face-to-face with the legendary Mario, who wants to beat him or her to a pulp. Not exactly the kind of thing you'd think you'd win, is it?
Wario: I'm bored already!
Fireball: Next question, what was that Shaman doing in the Sunken Ship selling stuff?
Endark: Well, everybody's got to make a living, and you'd be surprised how few Blooper salespeople there are.
Blooper: We try out best, you know!
Fireball: I'm sure you don't.
Blooper: ... You mean “do”, right?
Fireball: No. Next question, then! What's with some of you being nice and some attacking you? Are they good, or evil, or what?
Endark: Oh, this is certainly one of your stupider questions. Is Goombario evil, just because he's a Goomba? Are all Yoshis as insane as you are? Just because a species is stereotyped as being nice or not, it doesn't mean that every single creature that's a part of that species isn't an individual with their own beliefs, dreams, and whatnot.
Wario: Is... Is Goombario evil?
Yoshi: And... Yoshi think that Goombario evil!
Fireball: Now you got everyone thinking the lame Goombario is evil!
Endark: *sigh* Remind me not to use metaphors around you anymore.
Fireball: Next question, did they learn any more moves besides Lightning Orb and the other stuff?
Endark: Why, certainly. But other spells take great power to cast, leaving the magician in a very vulnerable state.
Fireball: As I recall, there was a Shaman in Belome Temple... What was the reason?
Endark: I don't think there's a single temple in the world that's built for no reason. Perhaps he or she was studying the group that built the temple, or thought that some arcane artifact was hidden deep inside of it. Maybe he or she was just a fan of ruins.
Fireball: Is it possible for Shamans to return in anymore games?
Endark: And WHAT, may I ask, do you think Merlon, Merlee, and those other similar-looking magicians are? Certainly, enemy Shamans have been able to stick to the shadows better, but those good Shamans are making names for themselves.
Fireball: Is Merlon and the other people of his family a Shaman?
Endark: ... Didn't I just answer that?
Fireball: Maybe... Next question, in Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door, is Wonky a part of the clan? He reveals that he might be, didn't he?
Endark: Well, I've never met anybody named Wonky before... but if he hints towards such a fact, why should I deny it?
Wonky: Sweet!
Wario: Loser!
(Wario kicks him.)
Fireball: Next question, are Shamans human or non-human?
Endark: Mostly human, but there have been some non-human Shamans in the past. For example, there are a few ex-Magikoopas that decided to become Shamans because the traditional magic they had studied just wasn't powerful enough for them.
Fireball: Last question, do Shamans work for Bowser?
Endark: If he gave a good enough reason for a Shaman to work for him, I assume that it's possible.
Bowser: I have something to tell you about Shamans... I have NO idea if they work for me.
Fireball: Sit in your chair and be quiet, BOWSER! It's the people in the seats' turn!
Mario: Yippee...
Fireball: Seat 42.
Kamek: Can Shamans do great magic?
Endark: Yes, it is possible. But the most powerful spells in our arsenal either take up tons of magic power, drain our physical health, take a while to cast, or are considered forbidden even by Shaman standards.
Magikoopa: Did you answer my question?
Endark: You didn't ask one! ... Until now, that is.
Fireball: Seat 57!
Roy: What are the Shamans doing nowadays?
Endark: Same as always: studying magic, lurking in the darkness, catching a meal at McKoopas when nobody's watching...
Fireball: Seat 3,094.
Bob-omb: Why do Shamans carry Honey Syrup?
Endark: Have you ever tasted the stuff? It's quite delicious.
Fireball: Seat 329.
Shy Ranger: How much HP do Shamans hold?
Endark: Depends on the Shaman. Some spells permanently drain a portion of a Shaman's stamina when cast, so the more sinister Shamans have less health in comparison to those that don't cast such magic.
Shy Ranger: You can just tell me instead of using your big, fancy words!
Endark: Fine, I'll dumb it down for you. It's usually somewhere between 200 and 100. Nice Shamans usually have more than bad ones. The Shamans that Mario fought had about 150 HP, so they were bad, but not TOO bad.
Shy Ranger: ... Ah! I get it now!
Endark: You had better.
Fireball: Seat 939.
Lord Crump: Buh... That's my seat.
Fireball: Just ask him the question.
Lord Crump: Fine... buh... and all that other stuff. Do Shamans have any weakness?
Endark: Well, about 95 percent of us have no physical strength, and would lose a battle that didn't involve magic. The other five percent are well-rounded; they’re not as good at magic, but can take a few good hits.
Fireball: Seat 429.
Waluigi: What do Shamans think about me?
Endark: Ah, WT's favorite question... Personally, I think you should eat more health food, since that slim, lanky look doesn't seem healthy to me. As for some other Shamans I know, they think you'd be an excellent Shaman as you're used to being sneaky and have enough magical energy in you to temporary flood a tennis court.
Fireball: Seat 4,238.
Boo: Can Shamans defend themselves with anything?
Endark: We could, but we're more used to casting shielding spells than actually lugging around a shield of some sort.
Fireball: Seat 233.
Lemmy: What am I doing here?
Fireball: Beats me.
Lemmy: How does it feel for Shamans to have more attack, defense, magic attack, and magic defense than Mack, the wimpy first boss?
Endark: Mack's weapon of choice is a sword-shaped pogo stick. He's not a hard person to outclass, you know.
Mack: I think I'm NOT that wimpy... I'm I?
Everyone: YOU ARE WIMPY!
(Mack goes crying to McKoopas.)
Endark: ... Apparently, he's also a coward that can't take an insult.
Fireball: Seat 10,000,032.
X-Naut Dude: Can, like, you know, like, Shamans... Can they, like fly?
Endark: Levitating magic exists, but it's somewhat impractical. After all, we're open targets in the sky.
Fireball: Last seat, and it's Mario2348.
Mario: Do Shamans really think they can beat me?
Endark: Nope. Like I uttered near the start, a secretive being that lurks in darkness with little to no physical ability suddenly face-to-face with a legendary hero known for beating the snot out of his enemies with a hammer isn't exactly a situation one thinks he can easily win at.
Fireball: Well that's the end of this Interview show!
Mario: DANG!
Fireball: I know, Mario... Well, actually, I don't. This time, you don't know how glad I am that this is over! I'll see you next time, hopefully with WT!
Mario: And not Endark and/or any other Shamans.
Fireball: We're all going to go to McKoopas and have a snack, while we put the tab on Endark.
(Everyone starts rushing to McKoopas and putting it on Endark's tab.)
Endark: ... Good thing that anything I have to pay for is directly funded by the Kingdom of Woosteria. Wait for me, guys!
(Endark follows everybody to the restaurant. Fireball, who got there first, is shown eating some burgers.)
Fireball: End transmission!
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