Lemmy: Hey people! Welcome to Lemmy's Interview Show! Today, Blaze is gonna-
Blaze: Not today, Lemmy...
Lemmy: What?! Why not?!
Blaze: Because I don't want to...
Lemmy: ... Well, then... who's gonna interview this geezer?
Kamek: HEY! I ain't THAT old!
Lemmy: Pfft! Yeah right!
Kamek: Grrr...
Blaze: Not to worry. I hired someone else.
Lemmy: Who?
(A green shell slides onstage. Green Ninjakoopa pops out.)
Green: YO! WASSUP!
Lemmy: Ugh... Fne, but he needs a partner. Now where can we get one?
(Just then, a pirate ship crashes through the wall.)
zz: Did someone say interview?
Lemmy: Perfect, so zz is going to be interviewing Gramps with Green.
Kamek: I ain't old, I'm only as knowledgeable as an elderly man!
Lemmy: Cool your jets, bud. So zz, if you’re not going to be the Interview partner, who is?
(A figure walks off the ship.)
JOHNNY: I will.
Lemmy: Grrr, I guess this will do. But this won't be as good as it could have been.
zz: Yeah yeah, go update your site or something.
(Lemmy leaves to go update his site.)
Green: All right, dudes! Let's get this over with! I hear a pizza calling me!
Everyone Else: ...
Green: ... What?
Kamek: Just ask a question already, you idiot!
Green: Hey! Take it easy, old man!
Kamek: ...
Green: Okay! First question. Back when Bowser was a baby, were you like his dad or something?
Kamek: If I was his dad, I'd be dead! Of course not! I was just his tutor, since his father was too busy to watch him.
Green: Man, and I thought I never knew my father! *sniff, sniff* Wait, what am I doing?! I'm a cool ninja dude! Don't cry! No crying... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Blaze: Oh brother...
JOHNNY: Arg, I'll takeover for a little so you can stop crying and quit making a fool of yourself.
zz: Go get ‘em, JOHNNY!
JOHNNY: Arr harr harr!
Kamek: Hey buddy, just because you get your name in caps doesn’t mean you’re cool.
JOHNNY: Just because you wear a pointy hat and carry a wand doesn’t mean you’re cool. All right, so Kamek, how did you get where you are now, as the supreme Magikoopa?
Kamek: Well when Bowser was born, his dad was too busy to take care of him, so he wanted a Magikoopa to take care of him; and since I was the smartest and the top Magikoopa Bowser selected me to get the honor of teaching him.
JOHNNY: *sniff* I feel so bad for Bowser, his dad was too busy for him. *sniff* Wait, pirates don't cry, pirates don’t- WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
zz: This can't be happening.
Blaze: Well let's just ask the guy in seat 49 himself. Bowser, how'd YOU feel about Kamek taking care of you instead of your dad?
Bowser: I... I didn't care... Didn't care at all! *sniff, sniff* Wait, evil Koopa Kings don't cry... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Blaze: ... Are you kidding me...? Just ask another question before I throw up!
Green: *sniff* Huh? Oh, right. So Kamek, are you, like, connected to Kammy in any way?
Kamek: WHAT?! NO! We have nothing in common!
Green: Sure you don't!
Kamek: WE DON'T!!!
Kammy: Oh Kamek, you were always such a Shy Guy!
Kamek: I'M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND!!!
Green: AHA! I knew it! Kamek's got a girlfriend! Kamek and Kammy sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-
Kamek: (blushing) I DO NOT HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, YOU HEAR ME?!
Green: Then like, why's your face red, huh?
Kamek: (blushing even more) I'M ANGRY, THAT'S WHY!!!
Green: Sure you are!
Blaze: Enough with the childish teasing, already! (too himself) Kamek's got a girlfriend!
JOHNNY: *sniff* I wish I had a girlfriend...
Kamek: (blushing even more and red-faced * SHE IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND AND WILL NEVER BE!
JOHNNY: Sure, but anyway, how much longer until someone else takes your place as Head Magikoopa?
Kamek: As if anyone can replace me.
JOHNNY: Someone seems full of himself.
Kamek: No, I'm full of soda, had too much last night.
JOHNNY: Then what magic can you perform?
Kamek: More then anyone could possibly ever do, like make bosses huge, and... um, well... I guess that’s it.
JOHNNY: Ha ha, looks like someone doesn’t know magic!
Kamek: I know lots more. Watch, as I turn the Bandit in seat 3 into a block.
(POOF The Bandit is a block.)
JOHNNY: Imprsesive. I guess you do know lots more magic.
Green: All right! It’s, like, time for audience questions, dudes and dudettes! Seat 49!
Bowser: Weren’t you supposed to give Larry his magic lessons last night?
Kamek: Oh... uh... Yeah...
Bowser: Well where WERE you?!
Kamek: Well I... well... you see, I...
Kammy: He and I ate out.
Kamek: KAMMY!!!
Green: AHAHAHA! Kamek’s got a girlfriend! Kamek’s got a-
(Kamek makes a stagelight appear over Green’s head. It falls on him.)
Green: Owie!
Shy Guy: Hey! That’s MY job!
Blaze: Hey, that was pretty good. Maybe I should hire YOU full time instead!
Kamek: Ah yes! I take the job!
Shy Guy: WHAT?! What does that mean for ME?
Blaze: You’re fired, that’s what!
Shy Guy: HA! I can do this job better than HE can! Watch!
(Shy Guy drops a speaker box. It falls on Blaze’s head.)
Shy Guy: ... Oops...
Blaze: ... Like I said, you’re fired.
(The speaker box starts playing music.)
Speaker Box: IT’S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER TIME! PEANUT BUTTER-
Blaze: NOOOOOOOO! I FINALLY HAD THAT SONG OUT OF MY HEAD, AND NOW IT’S BACK! YOU'RE TOTALLY FIRED NOW!
Shy Guy: Aw man...
(Blaze smashes the speaker box with a big yellow hammer with a red stripe.)
Kamek: Where’d you get that hammer?
Blaze: I stole it from some pink hedgehog girl.
Amy Rose: GIMIE THAT!
(Amy tackles Blaze and bashes him in the head with the hammer.)
Blaze: Does anybody have an aspirin?
zz: I think JOHNNY has some.
JOHNNY:Arg, sorry zz, the aspirin fell of the ship when we crashed in here.
zz: Oh yeah, now if only I had the money to pay to fix that wall.
JOHNNY: Don't worry, lad, we'll attack some skipper on the way home and take all their money.
Kamek: Please not me!
JOHNNY: Eh, you're probably poor, and I don't rob hobos.
Kamek: I ain't a hobo.
(The Goomba in seat 2 drops a penny.)
Kamek: I call dibs on it, I saw it first! It's all mine!
(Kamek dives and tackles the Goomba, then grabs the penny.)
Kamek: I'm rich!
JOHNNY: Yeah, that proves you're poor. Now back to audience questions, how about you, way way way in the back, in seat 666.
zz: This guy won't be too friendly…
Gloomtail: (screaming His Loudest) How come the only time you rode on the broomstick was in Yoshi's Island?!
Kamek: Because I needed to monitor the whole island, and using the broomstick was the quickest way to do that without warping, and if I warped I'd miss some areas of the island.
zz: Hey Blaze, you feeling any better? Does your head still hurt?
Blaze: I'm feeling a little better...
(Shy Guy drops another speaker box on Blaze.)
Shy Guy: THAT'S FOR FIRING ME!!!
Blaze: Never mind. I feel terrible...
Speaker Box: I can't hold oooooooon muuuuuuuuuch longer! I will never let gooooooo!
Blaze: Ooh! I like this song!
Green: Seat 128!
General Guy: Who would you rather choose, Kamella and Kammy?
Kamek: ... I'm not answering that!
Blaze: Sorry, Kamek. Interview rule book says the interviewee has to answer every question asked unless it's an invalid one, and no, that wasn't invalid.
Kamek: *sigh* Fine... (blushing) Kammy...
Kammy: I KNEW you love me!
Kamek: Green, don't sta--
Green: Kamek and Kammy sitting in the tree! K-I-
(Kamek makes another stagelight appear. It falls on Green.)
Green: Ow! Great, now I need an aspirin.
Blaze: Yep! I’m DEFINITELY hiring you now!
Kamek: Like I said, I'll take the job!
Shy Guy: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
JOHNNY: Arr harr harr, stinks to be you. Alrighty, let's try to wrap this Interview up then.
zz: Are you mad? This is the best Interview yet!
JOHNNY: For you, because nothing bad has happened to you yet.
(Just then, the roof collapses on zz.)
zz: You idiot, you jinx it.
JOHNNY: Har har, that’s funny. Now back to the interview, how about the lad in seat 17.
King Boo: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
Kamek: The world may never know.
King Boo: #$(^#(*^&*&, that’s just what they say on those dumb commercials! That's it, I'm getting to the bottom of this.
(King Boo takes out a Tootsie Pop and starts licking it.)
King Boo: One... two... three... three. Darn, I lost count, I need to go get a new one.
(King Boo leaves to go buy a Tootsie Pop.)
Blaze: NO SWEARING!
Toad: !&@#&&!#@#@##@*@@!!^@
Blaze: ... Hooktail?
Hooktail: I'm on it!
Toad: What the-
(Hooktail eats Toad.)
Green: Well dudes and dudettes, that's all the time we have for today!
(Shy Guy drops another speaker box on Blaze.)
Shy Guy: I WANT MY JOB BACK!!!
Blaze: You are really starting to tick me off...
Speaker Box: Don't you wish your girlfriend was... hot... like.. me!
Blaze: THAT'S IT!!! I'M COMING UP THERE!!!
(Blaze climbs the ladder up to the top and starts beating up Shy Guy.)
Shy Guy: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! I'M SORRY!!! I- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!! MY ARM DOESN'T BEND BACK THAT FAR!!!
Blaze: IT DOES NOW!!!
zz: Hahahahahahaha!!!
JOHNNY: That has to be the funniest thing I've seen all week!
(JOHNNY's trident knocks down another speaker box.)
Speak Box: THE TIME HAS COME FOR YOU-
zz: Yeah, it’s Underoath! Now that’s some good music!
JOHNNY: Go Underoath!
Audience: Un-der-oath! Un-der-oath! Un-der-oath!
Speaker Box: TO FIT INSIDE YOUR MOLD WOULD BE TO SELL MYSELF SHORT!!! THIS GROUND WE TREAD UPON (WE TURN THE PAGES LEFT TO RIGHT) IS NOW FILLING UP OUR NECKS (WE SEE EVERYTHING)!
(The audience starts waving lighters back and forth. The Monty Mole in seat 23 drops his on the ground. The whole studio bursts into flames.)
zz: You moron, these walls are highly flammable!
JOHNNY: Get out, everyone!
(Everyone runs out of the studio. Once they're all out, the studio collapses to the ground.)
zz: No, the studio!
JOHNNY: I swear, the new studio cannot have any speaker boxes in it at all!
Blaze: I said NO SWEARING!
JOHNNY: ...
Green: Like, I have nothing to say, except this... End transmission!
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