Phantos67: Hello everybody! Hold on one moment, please. Is every door and opening secure?
Wacko: Yeah. There is no way he could possibly get in.
Phantos67: Great! Ok, welcome to another episode of the Phant-
(Lemmy pops out from under a table.)
Lemmy: Lemmy’s Interview Show!
Phantos67: RRRRRRRRRR!!! THUD, TAKE CARE OF LEMMY!!!
Thud: THUD!!!
(Thud squashes Lemmy.)
Phantos67: Last time on my show I hired Thud the Thwomp, Wacko the orange Flower Fuzzy, and G Bloop the Blooper! We interviewed Priscilla the Peckish and then somebody *looks at Thud* squashed our interviewee. I’m not naming any names, but it’s somebody blue that’s made of rock and his name starts with the letter T and ends in the letters HUD.
Audience: Wacko?
Phantos67: Correct! NO! THUD, YOU IDIOTS!!!
Thud: YOU SAY YOU NO NAME NAMES!
Phantos67: Oh yeah. Well if they weren’t so stupid, they would have guessed it and I wouldn’t have had to say your name out loud.
G Bloop: Boss? Can we get down to business? Who are we interviewing this time?
Phantos67: Let’s see, I am going to answer all three of the questions you asked me. Q1: Yes? Q2: Yes we can. Q3: I am about to tell you four lines down.
G Bloop: That’s kind of disturbing.
Phantos67: Shut up.
Wacko: So who are we interviewing?
Phantos67: Let’s see. Umm… We are interviewing Popple the Shadow Thief.
G Bloop: Cool.
Wacko: Wacky.
Thud: Thud.
Phantos67: Ok, bring in Popple the Shadow Thief, G Bloop!
G Bloop: Ok, Boss.
(G Bloop escorts Popple in.)
Popple: Hi, I am here, see?
Phantos67: Have a seat, but that doesn’t mean to steal it.
(Popple sits down without stealing the seat. IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD!)
Phantos67: Question number 1! What games have you appeared in?
Popple: Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga.
Phantos67: Do you plan on appearing in any more games in the future?
Popple: Not really. Nintendo must not think so either because I haven’t appeared in any since.
Phantos67: G Bloop! Ask a question.
G Bloop: Why do you have green hair?
Popple: THAT’S NOT HAIR, SEE?
(Popple tugs on his “hair”.)
Phantos67: What is it then?
Popple: It’s a type of grass; I am part plant, you know.
Phantos67: No, I didn’t.
G Bloop: Yeah you did, because you are writing the Interview and you are basically answering for him.
Phantos67: I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP!!! Now, Wacko, ask a question.
Wacko: Ok. Why do you say “see” after almost every answer?
Popple: Because the people I talk to are a lot dumber than I am. So I have to show them what I am talking about every time I answer, see?
Thud: THUD HATE WORD SEE!
Popple: Too bad, bub.
Thud: TOO BAD FOR YOU!
(Thud tries to squish Popple, but Popple darts out of his way.)
Audience Member: Why didn’t anybody do that before?
Wacko: Don’t ask me, I’m not the narrator.
Same Audience Member: I wasn’t really talking to you to begin with.
Phantos67: Popple, ask yourself a question while I get a drink.
Popple: Ok. I will, see?
(Popple dodges Thud again.)
Popple: Why are you the best thief in the entire world?
(Popple darts to the other side of the room.)
Popple: Because I am.
G Bloop: That’s not a real question.
Phantos67: I have a question. How many rookies have you had?
Popple: I have had two. One I named Rookie, but it was really Bowser with a blue mask on. The second was Birdo, who had a crush on me.
(Phantos67 uses his recently discovered telepathy to bring the cup up to his mouth.)
Phantos67: How many times did you battle the Mario brothers?
Popple: Four times. Two times with Rookie (Bowser with a blue mask on), once solo, and lastly with Birdo (who wasn’t Bowser and didn’t have a blue mask on).
Phantos67: AUDIENCE QUESTION TIME BECAUSE I AM TIRED OF ASKING QUESTIONS!
Audience: Awwww maaaan!
G Bloop: I’m not a man.
Audience: WE WEREN’T TALKING TO YOU!
G Bloop: Oh.
Phantos67: SEAT NUMBER 1 FOR A CHANGE!
Dark Koopa: How do you like being interviewed by this amateur?
Phantos67: THAT’S NOT A REAL QUESTION! AND I AM NOT AN AMATEUR, THIS IS MY THIRD INTERVIEW!
Dark Koopa: I have more than a hundred and thirty.
Phantos67: WHATEVER, SEAT 437!
Tryclyde: What do you do now?
Popple: Do I have to tell?
Phantos67: Yes or Thud will Thud you.
Popple: Ok, fine, even though he’d miss me anyways. I am a rookie to a Toad and have a job cleaning the huge mushrooms in Little Fungi Town, see?
(Popple holds up a photograph while dodging Thud.)
Triclyde: That’s a stupid job!
Popple: Oh yeah! Then what are you doing now?
Triclyde: Hey, I’m not getting interviewed.
Popple: Maybe you should be.
Triclyde: Maybe I will later.
(Triclyde sticks all of its tongues out at Popple.)
Phantos67: SEAT 3,534!
Bowser Junior: Who’s your favorite Koopaling?
Popple: Larry, he looks like he could be a good thief.
Bowser Junior: Hey! I’m a good thief!
Popple: But you aren’t a Koopaling!
Bowser Junior: 0_0
Phantos67: How about seat number 62. SEAT NUMBER 62, ASK A QUESTION!
Smarty Pants: There is speculation that you have a relation of brotherhood to Fawful from the videogame Mario and Luigi Superstar Saga. Would you agree to this statement?
Popple: I am confused, see?
(He makes a confused facial expression while dodging Thud.)
Wacko: Translation, is Fawful your brother?
Popple: Oh. No we aren’t. People think we are because we are slightly crazy (no comment) and we look vaguely similar. We are not related, see?
(Popple holds up a picture of his family tree while yet again dodging Thud.)
Phantos67: That is getting really annoying.
G Bloop: Boss, I know I’m not the boss or anything, but should we hire Popple for our crew? He could be a spy or a thief.
Phantos67: Incredibly stupid idea, G Bloop. Popple, how about you join the crew and be a spy or a thief for us?
G Bloop: 0_0
Popple: What would I do?
Phantos67: Steal stuff from other Interview hosts and spy on them for me.
Popple: Do I get paid?
Phantos67: *sigh* Yeah, I guess. You will get paid for everything you bring or tell me.
Popple: Ok! Sure!
Thud: NO! THUD HATE POPPLE! HE SAYS SEE!
Phantos67: YOU’RE HIRED, POPPLE!
Wacko: Wacky.
G Bloop: Cool.
THUD: NOOOOOOOOOO!
Phantos67: Didn’t you do that earlier?
Wacko: No, he said Thud not NOOOOOOOOOO!
Phantos67: Oh.
Popple: Ok, I guess I will end the show. We are Ending Transmission, see?
Thud: RRRRRRRR!
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