Fireball: Hello, and welcome to my awesome extreme interview show! This is also my 39th interview show!
Mario: The time sure went by.
Fireball: And whenever WT comes in, I'm tying him to a chair while ripping off his leg hair... the pain.
Wario: That's just awful.
Fireball: Meh.
WT: It's also not true; I'm perfectly fine... albeit a tad tired.
Fireball: Do you WANT it to be true?
WT: No, no, I'll be nice... Geez, you make a single lie, and you're branded for life. So, who's the lucky interviewee?
Amadeus: Dodo, AKA Valentina's assistant from Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars. Also known as one of the few guys that can take an insult well, since he won't realize that you're mocking him until an hour later... at least.
Extreme: What? So I get no introduction?
Blue: It seems like it.
Extreme: Man, it's been a bit since I've done one of these things.
Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!
Fireball: It's MY Interview show!
Mario: And you don't NEED an introduction.
WT: Yes he does! Who in the world is he?!
Fireball: Right! And today the Super Koopa Extreme Yoshi shall help us today!
WT: Thank you.
Extreme: I just want you to know that I've been interviewing for quite a while, but I've stopped for a long while due to needed breaks and adventures.
Wario: Three Super Koopas? The great Wario is impressed... Or am I...?
Fireball: Probably not.
Dodo: ... Uh, has the Interview started yet? I'm getting kinda bored.
WT: Oh, right; on with the show, I guess. So, Dodo... Is that your actual name, or the name of your species as a whole?
Dodo: Uh... Both, I think. I've never really met anybody that looks like me, so I wouldn't know if we're called anything else.
Blue: Maybe because they've all gone extinct.
Dodo: Hey, I don't smell!
Blue: It means no longer in the world... or, in this occasion, extremely rare species.
Extreme: Next question, what's the deal with you sucking up to Valentina?
Dodo: I wouldn't really say it's MY fault I have to suck up to that person. It's just that Valentina bribes me with things like food and shelter, and in return, I have to do whatever she says... It's also mainly that I'm the best bird there ever was in this world.
Fireball: Is it just me or is everyone butting in on my awesome Interview show?
Mario: Yep.
Fireball: Next question, what's up with you not appearing in anymore games?
Dodo: Well Valentina fried me, for one thing, and Nintendo does not think I'm good enough to be in any more games... You know, I'm just a one-time character.
Fireball: ... I’ve had enough of you! We only asked three questions so far and I’ve really had enough from you! Just ask some more questions, you guys...
WT: Did you say “fried”? You mean you were “fired”, right?
Dodo: Nope.
WT: ... I see. So, what's with the silver helmet?
Dodo: Well, when I heard that Mario was in the area, I didn't want my bird brain to be flattened by his trademark jump.
WT: ... You may be dumb, but at least you're smarter than about half of the entire Goomba population.
Dodo: Thanks!
Extreme: Here's another question, what's the deal with “polishing” statues?
Dodo: Well, I “polish” them by jabbing them with my strong beak, and it helps clean them by getting rid of dirt.
Extreme: So I'm guessing the force of your beak and fat body provides enough force to knock off the dirt.
Dodo: ... What, are you kidding? I slack off like any other crony that's ever been a slave to a ruler.
Koopa: That's right, Dodo!
Bowser: Sit down and shut up, you lousy turtle!
Koopa: Yes, Bowser...
Fireball: YOU sit down, Bowser!
Bowser: Yes, Fireball...
WT: How you ever got enough power to boss around a dictator, Fireball, I'll never know...
Blue: Can we fry this bird?
Fireball: I hope so... No, I don't. That's a stupid idea... And who in the world are you?
Mario: Probably the pizza man.
Blue: I'm Blue Yoshi, friend of Extreme. I used to do Interviews with Extreme until we stopped for a bit... And now we've been on adventures.
Fireball: Next question then, shall we? What were you thinking when you were polishing statues and one of them would jump?
Dodo: Well, when I polish statues, I listen to some random music. And when I went to hit it, I thought I hit it, but was not sure about it.
Fireball: Ok...
WT: Yeah, that's one “it” too many for me. But, I digress. Now, Dodo, what's the greatest thing that's ever happened to you?
Dodo: One time, Valentina's other assistants accidentally mixed up her dinner with mine. While she had a salami sandwich, I had the best turkey dinner EVER!
WT: Turkey? ... CANNIBAL!
Blue: I say we fry this bird and make sure the whole Dodo population is wiped out.
Extreme: That's a good idea. Either way, next question. Are you smart, or are you stupid?
Dodo: That's like asking a fat person if he's full.
Extreme: Just answer the question.
Dodo: Well, Valentina always calls me a bird brain and a complete idiot, and so on... I think I'm one of those neutral birds.
Blue: ... Please, can we fry him?
Fireball: You can't do that, Pizza Man... We'll finish interviewing him first. We shall learn the language of the bird, be the bird, and think like a bird!
WT: I've been thinking like a bird since the start; all I want to do is fly away from this chicken coop and take a nice, long nap!
Fireball: ... Next question, what was the toughest battle you ever fought... besides Mario and Co?
Dodo: Well, before I got here, there were plants in the way of the beanstalk that links Nimbus Land with the rest of Plit. So, I had to fight all those plants with big teeth and stuff... They were as ruthless as Piranhas... Don't know what they’re called though.
WT: You mean Piranha Plants?
Dodo: ... Yeah, that's it!
Fireball: Wow, that's... not a great story.
Wario: I... I... can't believe it's not fried turkey!
Blue: How stupid are you?
Wario: Wario says a little on the stupid side.
WT: At least we're past butter. Now, personally, I think it's time we moved on to audience questions. Seat 71!
Tileoid R: Are you a flightless bird or not?
Dodo: Well, I've always been too scared to try flying, so I'm not certain.
WT: You're afraid of heights?
Dodo: Nope, just afraid of falling from so high up.
WT: ... I guess that makes more sense, since you live in the clouds...
Fireball: Sure does.
Extreme: Seat 203.
Shy Guy: How come you didn't talk during Mario RPG?
Dodo: I was mute at the time, couldn't talk, throat problems, you get the picture, right?
Extreme: No, not really.
Blue: Seriously, can you give us a better answer?
Fireball: He's trying, Mr. Pizza Man... And you're the worst pizza man ever... You brought no pizza! NONE! NONE AT ALL!
WT: Uh, Fireball? I think... am almost certain, really... that Blue is Extreme's assistant, and NOT a pizza delivery man.
Extreme: For god sakes, have some common sense, Fireball.
Blue: I'm a Yoshi, I'm the color Blue, and-
Fireball: DON'T CARE! SEAT 93!
Goomba #9432: How can you even live in clouds? Wouldn't your weight make you fall?
Dodo: Well, the clouds in Nimbus Land are charged with magic, making them as sturdy as metal so you can't fall off.
Fireball: Well... I guess that makes sense. Kinda. Slightly.
WT: Okay, guys, you know what? I think we're almost done here. Let's each pick one more seat, and then call it a night. Seat 685!
Waluigi: Do you like me?
WT: ... I just KNEW there was some question I forgot to ask!
Dodo: Well, I don't really know you all that well, but I hear rumors that you're great at sports and stuff...
Waluigi: ... Meh, I'm out of here. Coming, Wario?
Wario: Wario wants to do something fun. Like lootin' and tootin'... Which is why...
(Wario goes into a telephone booth and comes out wearing a pink dress.)
Wario: The Pur- Oh come on, not this again!
(Wario goes back into the telephone booth and comes out this time as…)
Wario: The Purple Wind! Silent but Deadly! I'm off! And notice I'm using explanation marks again! Wahaha!
(Wario dashes out the door, followed by Waluigi. WT's just staring at the phone booth, wondering what one was doing inside of an Interview studio.)
Extreme: And with a note from Lemmy-
Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!
Fireball: LEMMY! IT'S MY INTERVIEW SHOW!
Lemmy: No, it's Lemmy's Interview Show! You pay for it, I own it... I'm the landlord, really.
Extreme: -the second to last seat to be called is seat 3,402.
Bowser: Will you work for me?
Dodo: No way! I've seen what you do to your minions! Plus, that time you clawed me, that was a lot of pain... and I don't want to be reminded about it whenever I see your face.
Blue: Uhhhhh... Let's get a better audience question... One more and we'll call it a night.
Fireball: You're right, Mr. Blue Pizza Man.
WT: He's not a pizza man!
Blue: He's got a mind of his own, he's stubborn...
Extreme: Bah, ignore him, that Yoshi thinks he's cool.
Fireball: Seat Mario4.
Mario: Did you really think you could beat me?
Dodo: No.
Mario: That's... That's the first time anyone said no.
Fireball: There's a first time for everything, Mario.
Mario: I guess... DANG! THE SHOW IS OVER! I JUST KNOW IT!
Fireball: You're right. I would like to thank WT, Extreme Yoshi, Blue Pizza Man, the Spear Guy...
WT: Who wasn't even here for the entire show, might I add.
Blue: There was a Spear Guy?
Extreme: Well I'm Extreme, that was Blue, Lemmy was there, and I'm going back to adventuring.
Fireball: ...the new pizza man coming here in 30 minutes or less or I get it for free, Mario, Wario and Waluigi.
Extreme: Fireball, they're gone. I say we have the pizza for ourselves... and WT too, I guess.
WT: Sounds nice, but I think I'd prefer taking that nap I mentioned earlier. Maybe next time.
Fireball: End transmission.
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